Any punishment for this?

[Thurlow]

Genuinely at a loss what to do.

9yo DD is extremely careless most of the time. Doesn't pay attention to her surroundings, knocks things over, drops things, stuff like that. Compounded by living in her own world and barely listening to people half the time. Most of it I know is her age, and lockdown and all that.

Today she grabbed a glass from the table and knocked another half full one over, dripping water onto the floor. I snapped (not a great moment), she half heartedly dried it up.

We've just discovered that some of the water went on some magazines that DH had on the bench by the table. These are vintage magazines to do with a hobby, and so while they're not expensive, he had been pleased to get them and is upset some of them have been damaged(because they've sat in water for ages).

Now DH and I aren't blameless here - I should have checked better where the water went and of it was cleared up, and DH shouldn't have left them in such a place.

But it's also just another thing DD has managed to break or lose or damage by being careless.

Should there be any consequences? Like I said, I'm quite at a loss - I'm tempted to give her consequences to try and help her learn to pay more attention in life, but I'm not sure whether we should or what's right?

It might be a phase she grows out of too though. When my dd was that age she spilled things all the time, not just at home. She soaked me by knocking a full drink over me at a special occasion. She was very embarrassed.
She's 12 now and I can't remember the last time it happened.
I never got angry or punished her. It was accidental. She was expected to help mop it up though, not walk away and leave it to someone else.

Big deal-some soggy magazines,accidents happen! You need to look at the way you're reacting as the adults&pick ur battles.This isnt worth getting excited about.

@jennyfromthesock

Dyspraxia presents differently in different people so it's perfectly feasible for her to have dyspraxia and not be the same as her friend. Losing stuff, knocking things over etc ARE all signs as well as living in her own world, not being aware of surroundings, dropping things, not listening.

this, really, it sounds almost textbook description

Well not sure what symptoms fly out are aware of but disorganised losing things frequently an clumsy are symptoms of dyspraxia. Some children with dyspraxia have very neat handwriting fine motor etc. Speaking from experience OP with children with both sorts

OP please could consider some of the advice regarding the potential causes as to your daughter’s clumsiness. I am dyspraxic but wasn’t diagnosed until I was 16. I had many of the traits you describe as your daughter having. My parents never punished me for my ‘clumsiness’ or any accidents as that is what they were- accidents. However I did have other close family members who would call me clumsy, forgetful, careless and punish me for things such as knocking over a vase even if I did apologise etc. That did impact my confidence and my relationship with them. You daughter may not have the symptoms her friend has but she does have ones similar to me. It may be worth getting it ruled out as if she isn’t there is no problem but if you miss it you could affect her long term.

No, I wouldn't punish a 9yo for spilling something, beyond asking them to clear it up.

I think you are angry with yourself for not checking tbh.

Inattentive adhd? Look up how it presents in girls - very different to the preconceived notions.

Would you punish yourself for an accident that you had?
It seems an odd way to treat an accident