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Original poster

You wake up and you're the only one alive. What do you do?

369 replies

Laggartha · 14/03/2021 15:17

I've just started watching I Think We're Alone Now and this is the premise. I'm only 8 minutes in and we've just seen how our hero spends his time.

I think it's a fascinating idea so I had to pause it to consider what I would do. What would you do?

OP posts:
Heysiriyoutwat · 15/03/2021 09:05

Jump for fucking joy.

I really don't like people.

Love51 · 15/03/2021 09:10

@MessAllOver

I'd plan a nice week doing all my favourite things.

Pilfer supplies from Wholefoods and Harrods food hall.
Find a mansion with a swimming-pool and hang out there for a bit.
Spend a day in Hatchards bookshop reading some really good books.
Get out of the city to the seaside, steal some ice-cream from an ice-cream van and enjoy having the beach all to myself.

When the week was up, I'd end it. Humans aren't meant to exist alone.

Would you though? I'd think, why not 10 days, why not a year? I'd keep a bullet about but I'm not sure I'd end it until I was in huge physical pain.
Original poster
Laggartha · 15/03/2021 09:12

It had the makings of something that could have been really good. It wasn't so bad that I turned it off before finishing but I kept waiting for something key and breakthrough to happen and it didn't really. Also, I was driven half insane with the volume. Extra loud music and ambient effects alongside almost constant inaudible mumbling. I had remote control permanently in hand vol up vol down vol up vol down.

That's pretty much our review of the film too.

OP posts:
Laila747 · 15/03/2021 09:21

I’d find as much wine as I could...probably a few packs of the red monster munch 😋 then ditch my vape (OH hates smoking) and get some proper fags. Once I’d finished all the wine, monster munch and fags I’d probably go to sleep and hope I didn’t wake up....because frankly, I couldn’t think of anything worse than being without my OH and DC.

But obviously I would enjoy the peace and quiet whilst eating my monster munch first. Priorities!

LizziesTwin · 15/03/2021 09:22

Eat all the Easter Eggs.

HeronLanyon · 15/03/2021 09:33

myneoghbours good thinking Re locks. I was thinking well surely we (I!) just need a sledgehammer but of course for repeat visits you’d want to have kept out the elements and roaming animals etc.
I think I would want all zoo animals to have been quietly put out of their daily misery also - really not comfortable with the thought of large predators being on the loose - don’t live too far from london zoo. Staying in the U.K. so happy if all other worldwide captive animals are able to release themselves and try to establish territories etc.

Roystonv · 15/03/2021 09:39

Putting aside all grief and basics! Would explore everywhere on a slow journey around the UK - stately homes, museums, art galleries, historical sites, gardens but yes have the facility to kill myself set up from the start. Help/cuddle as many animals as possible on the way. Do like the idea upthread of f & m and Liberty playing a part.

sashh · 15/03/2021 10:06

Well I already have a set of lock pics, I think I'd move into Harrods for a week or so.

Then head for some hippy commune where they are 'off grid' to live. Or to one of the secret bunkers, I know one has an entire town in it.

I'd break into a cash and carry for tinned / bottled goods on the way and I'd also stock up on wine and books.

I'd dust off my old electronics stuff and try to make contact with the ISS to see if they are dead too. If they are alive then getting them back to earth would be a priority before they ran out of goods / oxygen / water.

HeronLanyon · 15/03/2021 10:21

Don’t know why but I keep thinking of river travel. May work out how to ‘drive’ thames clippers and have the whole fleet at my command until fuel runs dry. Oh I’d deffo break into various concert halls gig venues and theatres and spend some time on stage messing about. Also Tower of London - would love to wander around with Crown Jewels casually complimenting my otherwise utilitarian/military look.

SquarePeggyLeggy · 15/03/2021 10:22

I’d go back to sleep

Ursy1 · 15/03/2021 10:57

What sort of tinned goods would people gather?

crochetmonkey74 · 15/03/2021 11:05

I would drive to London, and pick a lovely house centrally to live in.
Then I would wander the city having full access to everything- every painting, every museum piece etc
During this week I would also tour all the posh shops and cover myself with diamond jewellery, eat all the lovely food from the delis etc
In the second week, I would gather resources, so access the keys to all the cars on the street, go and stockpile fuel, drugs etc
Then I would make a list of other places in the UK and I would repeat my routine as I got there. Somehow I have also made dog and rat bombs that make them run away so I can walk through the supermarkets unbothered

Chewingle · 15/03/2021 11:21

@crochetmonkey74

I would drive to London, and pick a lovely house centrally to live in. Then I would wander the city having full access to everything- every painting, every museum piece etc During this week I would also tour all the posh shops and cover myself with diamond jewellery, eat all the lovely food from the delis etc In the second week, I would gather resources, so access the keys to all the cars on the street, go and stockpile fuel, drugs etc Then I would make a list of other places in the UK and I would repeat my routine as I got there. Somehow I have also made dog and rat bombs that make them run away so I can walk through the supermarkets unbothered
Why would you stockpile? No one is around
Ursy1 · 15/03/2021 12:13

I think I’d have to find an amazing mansion that had a state of the art greenhouse and pollytunnel and walled garden which was all stocked with growing fruit and veg. I’d get lots of books from a library or bookshop on growing food. I’d also try find lots of chickens and build a chicken coup as they’d be an important source of eggs and maybe meat. I think it would become really important to become self sufficient because how long could you survive mentally and physically eating tinned food??? The gardening would give you a real sense of purpose and routine to your days I think.
I’d also definitely find some dogs to look after as they’d become essential companions and keep the loneliness at bay. Also if there was anyone else alive that was a baddy they could help warn you of intruders???!!!
I would also make sure to find a musical instrument shop and take some instruments that are small enough to carry and some music books. I think learning to play music would bring some extra joy and break the monotony of my days. Hopefully my new mansion would also have a piano.

Original poster
Laggartha · 15/03/2021 12:32

Some of the practicalities were getting me down (rotting bodies, evaporating petrol, electric doors sealed shut etc) so today I’m toying with the idea that everyone has disappeared but the world is kind of frozen, so there’s electric, mains water and so on. It may be the case that fresh food appears in the supermarket every time you go in. The internet works but there’s never anything new on it.

OP posts:
GenderApostate19 · 15/03/2021 12:50

Find a country estate with hydro electric/solar power and a river for fish. Keep chickens, goats and sheep, maybe pigs, learn the art of butchery and preserving.

Go to Costco with a big truck, there would be enough dried/tinned food to keep you alive indefinitely.

Maybe learn some basic surgical techniques, how to set bones etc.

doginthesun · 15/03/2021 13:07

Can we assume this happens in a parallel universe where I don't have DH and the DC (so I'm not beside myself with grief), or perhaps that they are also with me? And also that there are not rotting bodies all over or other unpleasant survivors to fear?

On those assumptions I'd get myself a big camper van (there's a place nearby that sells them), stock up on a few days worth of food and drink then set off on a very slow trip round the UK. I'd take my dog too. He doesn't really like most humans so it would be good to be able to take him anywhere I like without having to think about avoiding him barking.

crochetmonkey74 · 15/03/2021 13:32

@doginthesun

Can we assume this happens in a parallel universe where I don't have DH and the DC (so I'm not beside myself with grief), or perhaps that they are also with me? And also that there are not rotting bodies all over or other unpleasant survivors to fear?

On those assumptions I'd get myself a big camper van (there's a place nearby that sells them), stock up on a few days worth of food and drink then set off on a very slow trip round the UK. I'd take my dog too. He doesn't really like most humans so it would be good to be able to take him anywhere I like without having to think about avoiding him barking.

I love this idea!

Chew oh yeah! I forgot we don't need to stockpile!

Taikoo · 15/03/2021 13:49

I'd probably kill myself fairly soon.
What would be the point of living anymore?

viques · 15/03/2021 13:53

@JazzyJelly

Free all the animals in cages so they have a chance.
What. Even the hungry ones like lions and tigers.I think you are making a rod for your own back there.
viques · 15/03/2021 13:57

@HeronLanyon

St. Paul’s not the bakery Paul (although that wouldn’t be bad if somehow they had fresh stocks in).
There is a branch of Paul’s the bakery practically next door to St Paul’s the cathedral!!!

HTH.

Grin
HeronLanyon · 15/03/2021 14:26

Indeed ! Grin dystopian becomes Elysian !

hazandduck · 15/03/2021 14:51

Do you think this is what happens when you die?

Sayamino · 15/03/2021 14:53

Find some bunting and celebrate. Sounds like my idea of heaven. Then sleep. And sleep some more

Cathpot · 15/03/2021 15:01

DH loves this kind of thought experiment - just been talking it through. We went for everyone has vanished no bodies scenario. Most things in that situation aren’t a rush but the internet will go when the power goes for the servers so I would need to print everything that would be useful- where various factories are, how to fix stuff and then medical info. Lead to a conversation how the biggest danger alone in this country would be breaking a leg etc and not having medical care. Now he is googling ‘most extreme medical procedures anyone has done on themselves’ I’ve had to ask him to stop sharing them! I enjoyed ‘the boy and his dog at the end of the world’ where the premise is the human race is suddenly and almost totally infertile and everyone died out over time. There are some people left but very very few and the boy in the title sets off alone on a quest the length of the country to retrieve his dog.