Food that sounds great in books but is disappointing in real life

[BlowDryRat]

As a child I was very into reading the Famous Five and begged my mum to buy me ginger beer. It was a disappointing experience. It tasted horrible!

Ditto cakes made with chestnut flour (The Wolves of Willoughby Chase) and the butterbeer at the Harry Potter studio tour.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Just goes to show not much changes. The healthy cheap good might be different today, and so might the treats, but you can see that argument happening in any number of places today.

Another Wolves of Willoughby Chase one (I'm reading it to my DD at the moment): partridge. I spent ££ at Christmas on Waitrose's partridges stuffed with pear. They were more palatable than the shot-filled pheasants but neither of us finished them.

(Haven’t rtwft so apologies if I’m repeating)

I read recently that the Turkish Delight in The Lion, the Witch & The Wardrobe is an allegory for sin. Sweet to start with but ultimately disappointing and the cost too high.

I have never liked Turkish Delight, in any case.

Ovaltina - we persuaded my mum to buy this after seeing it in a book, can’t remember which one. We hated it.

Rock buns - no.

Rock buns are great. I was considering doing a batch thus afternoon, but then I thought I am actually meant to be working.

Weird and wonderful cheese flavours from food markets... The flavour combinations sound amazing but having sampled loads of those little squares they put out for you to try, I am yet to find one I actually like!

Talking of cheese 'Stinking Bishop' billed as utterly revolting is actually utterly delicious.

Thank you to a pp for the recommendation for the 'Cherry Cake and Ginger Beer' book - my copy arrived today and it's great! I'm going to be baking/cooking a lot over the next few weeks

I read recently that the Turkish Delight in The Lion, the Witch & The Wardrobe is an allegory for sin. Sweet to start with but ultimately disappointing and the cost too high

And in direct contrast to the food the “good” children eat. Just-caught fish and boiled potatoes with the Beavers and Lucy has a wholesome tea of toast or crumpets with butter with Mr Tumnus.

My local market sells Lardy cake ( the cheap bakers not the posh artisan one). It’s lovely because it has a soft fluffy raisin dough middle with a crispy hard sugar bottom. Yummy. And it’s market day tomorrow you bastards.

I always thought “potted shrimp” sounded nice. Turns out it’s just a lump of congealed butter on top of tasteless sea monkey type mini prawns.

Root beer that like everyone else found out, is deeply disgusting. Tastes like TCP.

My local market sells Lardy cake

Ooh, I'd forgotten all about lardy cake - love it!

Waitwhat23 I think that was me! It's a fab book isn't it?!

@sorrelforbes the book is fabby! I couldn't help myself from making the muffins for breakfast this morning. In the vein of the book, I had - muffins warm from the griddle, warmed in a tea towel to keep warm, with a good layer of fine, creamy butter, two dear little brown hard boiled eggs and lots of hot, strong coffee :)

Just to say I bought the Lardy cake and it’s fab.
Apparently a whole Lardy cake is 4,000 calories. And it’s just me who eats it.😳.

a whole Lardy cake is 4,000 calories
😆 well worth it, I say! Enjoy!

Apparently a whole Lardy cake is 4,000 calories.

You're not meant to eat it all in one go, though...

There’s only me. So eventually that’s 4,000 that I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t read this flipping thread.

My son worked in a bakery where they made lardy cakes.
Stage one - make the base
Stage two - take a jug of melted lard , a big one, and pour it over until saturated.
It rather put me off them (for a while)

Ewww

I can't stand lardy cakes. Now I know why @MaMaLa321.

@florascotia2

Wildswim Kippers - they are good for you. Lots of omega 3. They taste smoky and salty, at the same time.

You cook them gently. It's very quick. Microwave is easiest but others work well. You need to avoid drying them out .
www.manxkippers.com/about-kippers/whats-the-best-way-to-cook-kippers

They go very well with eggs - just like smoked salmon (the cheap offcuts, not the expensive stuff). www.abelandcole.co.uk/recipes/grilled-kipper-with-creamy-scrambled-eggs

They make fabulous pate (once boned) mashed when cooked and cold, then mixed with butter (or mayonnaise) and lots and lots of fresh parsley, lemon juice and black pepper. Boil in the bag kippers - very cheap, from supermarkets - are fine for this.

Kippers are, IMO, best served with very thin wholemeal or seedy bread toast (sourdough if you like but I'm not a fan) , or proper Scottish oatcakes. ( I prefer Patersons - no palm oil.) And tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce, celery, lemon wedges....

The best kippers I ever tasted were from Whitby, from a little shack located on the street beyond the bottom of the steps to the Abbey. Small, local smoker, and they were lovely.

@WiddlinDiddlin

I love turkish delight...

I did not love lemonade made per Enid Blyton stories... water, sugar, lemon juice (whoever posted it being made with just sugar and water, I think you need to re-read!)...

Result.. incredibly sweet yet strong cloying lemony syrup that is not remotely refreshing to drink and of course, not fizzy!

Try diluting with some soda water. Would cut the sweetness and add fizziness.

I never liked pork pie - which is heresy where I come from, as it's near Melton Mowbray - but I wonder if it's something fridges have killed. I really hate the taste of meat chilled in the fridge, and there's a bit in Elizabeth David where she speculates that fridges introduce a really peculiar taste as compared to a (cool, but not cold) larder. In particular she points out cold roast chicken cooked this morning and left to cool down for lunch is delicious, but cold roast chicken cooked last night and put in the fridge is not. So maybe that is part of it?

Pork pies were originally meant to be a food that could travel without needing to be stored in a fridge. I do like pork pie, I get mine from the actual shop, never the supermarket. I also leave it out for 20 mins or so to come to room temperature before eating.

However, I confess I can''t stand crumpets, although DD likes them.

@Iamthewombat

I always wonder if the Chalet School's cakes 'full of nuts and cream' would live up to the hype..

I surmised not when I read the books. Where’s the chocolate and caramel and other nice things?

The one thing I did like the sound of, in one of the early books, was when Joey and Madge stay with the Mensches over Christmas (Bernhilda and Frieda’s family) and their dad tells the ‘little madchen’ (Joey, who we understand was looking a bit peaky) that she cannot object when a ‘gruff old giant’ gives her a big helping of ‘buttery potato balls’. I was seeing spherical chips with melted butter on them, yes please.

I always imagine them as being little fried potato balls. Om nom nom.

Changes for the Chalet School has girls eating chicken and ham paste on gingerbread, which sounds minging. And Lintons has the notorious midnight feast with Evil Thekla's raw bacon, and sardines on cake because they haven't got cutlery and Joyce worries about oil getting everywhere. Not sure what kind of cake, though. No wonder they all felt like shit the next day.

The Tyrolean peasant wedding in Head Girl has some weird-sounding food. Pork boiled in fat, bacon cooked in butter with the butter poured over it. Some of the foods in the Swiss books, like plum dumplings in syrup, sound fit though.

Just catching up on the thread and while I like some American junk food (and glad to see someone else who's read The Pistachio Prescription, I love Paula Danziger's teen novels), Twinkies are vile. The cream filling has a really horrible slimy texture and the sponge bit has the texture of a gym mat and barely taste of anything. I can see why people claim those things would survive a nuclear apocalypse.