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Food that sounds great in books but is disappointing in real life

473 replies

BlowDryRat · 13/03/2021 15:56

As a child I was very into reading the Famous Five and begged my mum to buy me ginger beer. It was a disappointing experience. It tasted horrible!

Ditto cakes made with chestnut flour (The Wolves of Willoughby Chase) and the butterbeer at the Harry Potter studio tour.

OP posts:
Iamthewombat · 15/03/2021 21:55

I always wonder if the Chalet School's cakes 'full of nuts and cream' would live up to the hype..

I surmised not when I read the books. Where’s the chocolate and caramel and other nice things?

The one thing I did like the sound of, in one of the early books, was when Joey and Madge stay with the Mensches over Christmas (Bernhilda and Frieda’s family) and their dad tells the ‘little madchen’ (Joey, who we understand was looking a bit peaky) that she cannot object when a ‘gruff old giant’ gives her a big helping of ‘buttery potato balls’. I was seeing spherical chips with melted butter on them, yes please.

Waitwhat23 · 15/03/2021 22:07

Ooh, you've just made me drool over the memory of 'buttery potato balls' - you're right, they sound brilliant!

Waitwhat23 · 15/03/2021 22:09

Whoever mentioned 'Mrs Friendly-Farmer' earlier in the thread made me laugh - the Famous Five were astoundingly lucky that the farms they went to were always both friendly and fully stocked!

hagsrus0 · 15/03/2021 22:10

IIRC Bobby Brewster was fond of Lardy Busters, a kind of Chelsea bun, per google. I've heard that lard makes a lighter pastry than butter, but I don't bake so can't confirm.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 15/03/2021 22:14

I always thought Kaffee und Kuchen sounded so sophisticated (was that Chalet School?) even though I didn't know what kuchen were. It turned out to be coffee and cake, so not as sophisticated as I thought, quite nice though depending on the cake.

DudeistPriest · 15/03/2021 22:16

I've had lardy cake, it's nice like a rich teacake or currant bun doesn't taste of lard.

Iamthewombat · 15/03/2021 22:20

I really need to have a go at making Marilla's Raspberry Cordial from the Anne of Green Gables books

Didn’t Diana mistake currant wine for raspberry cordial and get trashed?

Anyone who thinks that the 1870s were sedate needs to read the Green Gables books and What Katy Did at School. In the latter, the headmistress holds a reception at the school for academics at the nearby college, that most of the girls can’t attend. They wait enviously on the stairs and shout to one of the professors passing through the hallway, “we are starving for a bit of cake!”, whereupon he returns, laughing, with a massive wedge of cake for them.

Which is exactly the sort of thing I’d have done in the 1980s.

Waitwhat23 · 15/03/2021 22:38

Yes, Diana got drunk on currant wine, went home and her mother was furious and declared Anne a bad influence until Anne saved Diana's little sister (can't remember her name) from croup.

I vaguely remember that the cake incident mentioned in What Katy Did at School, only the scholars who had received no demerits were allowed the glory of attending the party and the others watched with jealous eyes and hungry tummies!

I remember some of the antics which Anne got up to with her friends in the Green Gables series seemed exciting and quite modern but at the same time from a different world altogether. For one college party, Anne embroiders hundreds of tiny little rose buds over the gauze of a dress, making it one of the most admired dresses at the party - and that's always stuck in my head - can you imagine having the time or skill to do that now for a party dress?

MirandaWestsNewBFF · 15/03/2021 22:55

@Iamthewombat

I really need to have a go at making Marilla's Raspberry Cordial from the Anne of Green Gables books

Didn’t Diana mistake currant wine for raspberry cordial and get trashed?

Anyone who thinks that the 1870s were sedate needs to read the Green Gables books and What Katy Did at School. In the latter, the headmistress holds a reception at the school for academics at the nearby college, that most of the girls can’t attend. They wait enviously on the stairs and shout to one of the professors passing through the hallway, “we are starving for a bit of cake!”, whereupon he returns, laughing, with a massive wedge of cake for them.

Which is exactly the sort of thing I’d have done in the 1980s.

Sadly it was only pound cake and cream of tartar water 🤢
SteppinOutwithMyBaby · 16/03/2021 05:19

I don't live in the UK but I read a lot of British mysteries/police procedurals, and the police are always fighting over the last Hobnob. A local supermarket had some on special, so I thought I would try them. They are horrible. Grainy, dry, oversweet base and insufficient chocolate - in spite of claims on the packet.

They only cost me the equivalent of £1.10, and that's all they were worth.

LApprentiSorcier · 16/03/2021 07:22

@Whenthesunshines

This is a very old one! My Mum used to read me story books before bed (nearly half a century ago!) and one of the children in the story had ‘pink fish paste sandwiches’. I nagged and nagged and she gave in and bought pink fish paste and made me some. Needless to say, they were disgusting.
I like fish/meat paste, which you can still buy - 'Shippams' or supermarket own brand.

Pre-pandemic, I used to take a jar into work, with some bread, and make my own sandwiches at lunchtime (so they didn't go soggy or need refrigerating as pre-made sandwiches do). The crab, in particular, is tasty.

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 16/03/2021 08:00

Those giant ravioli you see on Masterchef. I've never had one that wasn't pale, flabby and distinctly underwhelming....

toffeebutterpopcorn · 16/03/2021 08:17

@SteppinOutwithMyBaby

I don't live in the UK but I read a lot of British mysteries/police procedurals, and the police are always fighting over the last Hobnob. A local supermarket had some on special, so I thought I would try them. They are horrible. Grainy, dry, oversweet base and insufficient chocolate - in spite of claims on the packet.

They only cost me the equivalent of £1.10, and that's all they were worth.

I love a hobnob. You do need to eat them with a cup of tea though.
BlowDryRat · 16/03/2021 08:47

The Famous Five are definitely into their tinned everything. Tinned peaches aren't bad, I'll give them that.

OP posts:
sueelleker · 16/03/2021 09:28

@PermanentTemporary

I adore sardines on toast with slices of tomato on top. It was the first actual meal I cooked for myself at about 11.

There's the Ruby someone pony books - not the Jill series but another one - where they're always eating lardy cake. I've still never had it. Made with lard? My mum used to use lard in pastry but again we're spoiled and I only ever use butter. I seem to remember i did once have pound cake which I thought would be fantastic but it wasn't that great. I remember Jung Chang writing about Mao 'indulging the peasant's eternal dream of surplus food' very disapprovingly just before the Famine, and realising with a jolt that we live in that dream - surplus food, whenever we want it, whatever we want.

I made a lardy cake not long after we were married (new bride, doing lots of cooking) It was foul. The lard melted and ran out onto the baking tray, and the cake sort of fried. Never again!
sueelleker · 16/03/2021 09:32

@Waitwhat23

Yes, Diana got drunk on currant wine, went home and her mother was furious and declared Anne a bad influence until Anne saved Diana's little sister (can't remember her name) from croup.

I vaguely remember that the cake incident mentioned in What Katy Did at School, only the scholars who had received no demerits were allowed the glory of attending the party and the others watched with jealous eyes and hungry tummies!

I remember some of the antics which Anne got up to with her friends in the Green Gables series seemed exciting and quite modern but at the same time from a different world altogether. For one college party, Anne embroiders hundreds of tiny little rose buds over the gauze of a dress, making it one of the most admired dresses at the party - and that's always stuck in my head - can you imagine having the time or skill to do that now for a party dress?

It was her friend Phillipa who embroidered the dress-she took it home and did it over the holidays.
Lobsterquadrille2 · 16/03/2021 10:22

Loving these Anne memories - I feel like digging the books out. I cannot remember the dress at all - or Philippa - but Diana had a sister called Minnie May I think.

My mother always made seed cake with poppyseeds, and chunks of chocolate in it. She cannot taste and said she liked the texture of it.

merrygoround88 · 16/03/2021 10:28

Eggplant parmigiana from Judy Blume books, so disappointing

Neap · 16/03/2021 11:23

@merrygoround88

Eggplant parmigiana from Judy Blume books, so disappointing
Oh, I like that, but admittedly don't remember it from Judy Blume. (My memories of Judy Blume are mostly about the penis called Ralph from Forever... Grin).

The cakes in the Anne series always sound wonderful (well, apart from the one she flavours with liniment and feeds to the unfortunate minister's wife!)

I think I'm thinking of much later in the series when Rilla for some reason thinks it's unladylike to be seen carrying a cake and throws the one she's carrying in the river. I think it was a 'silver and gold cake'? Also delicious-sounding references to layer cakes and angel cake, though I'm assuming layer cake is just any cake with layers I think Anne sandwiches her layer cake together with jam and I'm not entirely sure what angel cake is.

In fact, for any fans of food references in AoGG, here is a link to a fascinating concordance of all food references in the series --

36eggs.com/2016/04/21/every-food-drink-in-the-anne-of-green-gables-series/

which points out that cake is much the most frequently-mentioned food in the series, followed by pie, bread, apples, cream, chicken and cookies. Chicken is very much the prestige meat, and Mrs Rachel Lynde, when she shows up to nosy around Green Gables when she doesn't yet know 'the orphan' is expected, notes that 'company' is coming, judging by the table setting, but that it's not anyone important because there's only one kind of cake and only crab apple preserves.

And the time Marilla is about to serve guests plum pudding and a pitcher of warmed sauce in which Anne suddenly remembers a mouse had drowned, down in the cellar. Ew.

And which has just reminded me of the other classic US/Canadian girls' lit mystery of my childhood, along with Amy March's pickled limes -- the schoolchildren in AoGG spending their lunchtimes picking 'spruce gum' to chew.

EBearhug · 16/03/2021 11:24

Good lardy cake is food of the gods, though not generally of nutrionists. It is a yeast cake, with raisins or sultanas or currants, and sugar and lard, which should create a sort of crispy base. It doesn't taste of lard at all, or shouldn't, but bad lardy cake is all greasy and horrid. I grew up with it quite often at home, but it turns out it's regional. There is a baker near here, at the ends of its range, which makes it, do I can treat myself once every few years.

Good Turkish delight is fab. The version in chocolate and a purple wrapper is not. It should come in a wooden box and becdusted in icing sugar, rose and lemon. I have also had orange and pistachio TD, which were good, too.

Good ginger beer is also good, as is proper homemade lemonade. I don't mind root beer once in a while, but I need to be in the right mood for it. Same with sarsparilla, but that's not easy to find these days.

My mother was fond of sardines on toast, which K think of as Saturday teatime Good, but fortunately, I was eventually allowed to stop trying to eat fish in any form. Dad would have had kippers for breakfast most days if allowed, but he didn't do the cooking, do it was an occasional holiday treat. Kedgeree where you have chicken instead of fish is good. (It's probably fine eith fish, if you like fish.)

Pobs I think should be made with proper homemade farmhouse white bread and full fat milk, unhomogenized, so it's got real cream.

I think many children's classics were written at times of want. In the Little House books, they are often not far from starvation, which would mean food we'd probably turn our noses up at would have been gratefully received. Likewise, all the mid-century children's books were written with rationing in full flow (sugar rationing didn't end till 1953) and other things were luxuries - we can have all sorts of exotic foods flown in from any part of the world, but even out of wartime, it was only in more recent decades that happened - they'd have been reliant on foods coming in on ships, so less variety, less freshness, more tinned foods - most people would have eaten food which was more local and seasonal. Sweets really were a treat, and lots of mid-century children would only have had oranges at Christmas, may never have pineapple, not even tinned pine-apple (as Blyton usually wrote it.) It's difficult to picture how things have changed with modern freight and supermarkets.

Roast chestnuts are fab, as are marrons glaces. I agree that American snack foods were disappointments, though. Tootsie rolls Twinkies, Oreos, Hershey's kisses... all sounded so good in the American books I read. And then I got to try them... such disappointment! Reese's are good, though.

Porridge is good,but it can also be bad. Many food cultures have dishes that are some sort of porridge - grain or other starchy food which is filling and bland but cheap, and can be made more exciting by adding herbs, spices, sugar or salt, fruits, meat, whatever is to hand. Food which you can just keep in a sack and it doesn't spoil quickly is useful when you have no fridges or freezers.
Although Hardy's frumity tent (wheat based porridge with fruits) was at Weydon Priors/Weyhill, in Hampshire, so no need to tar Dorset with the wife-selling stuff, even if he did end up in Casterbridge/Dorchester. Wink

EBearhug · 16/03/2021 11:25

I like seedcake once in a while, too.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 16/03/2021 11:31

Angel cake is a very light textured and light-coloured sponge with white frosting, I think - possibly involving beaten egg white? Devil's Food Cake always appealed to me more, as it's a very dark chocolate cake with chocolate icing/frosting. When I was growing up, my mum had a recipe book with both recipes, probably in a novelty section on American Baking.

Laquila · 16/03/2021 11:34

I knew before opening it that the OP would be about something from an Enid Blyton, but I had my money on sardines and ginger cake! Eaten at a midnight feast, obvs.

thenumberseven · 16/03/2021 11:35

In A Girl of the Limberlost published in America early 20th century the packed lunches for school are amazing, the lunchbox itself sounds a thing of beauty although it must have been quite heavy to carry around with all that glass and porcelain:

Wesley opened the package and laid a brown leather lunch box on the table. “Might be a couple of books, or drawing tools or most anything that’s neat and genteel. You see, it opens this way.”

It did open, and inside was a space for sandwiches, a little porcelain box for cold meat or fried chicken, another for salad, a glass with a lid which screwed on, held by a ring in a corner, for custard or jelly, a flask for tea or milk, a beautiful little knife, fork, and spoon fastened in holders, and a place for a napkin
Elnora slipped the strap and turned back the lid

This disclosed the knife, fork, napkin, and spoon, the milk flask, and the interior packed with dainty sandwiches wrapped in tissue paper, and the little compartments for meat, salad, and the custard cup.

The first lunch packed by a kindly neighbor for Elnora consisted of:
Fried chicken, nut sandwiches,salad, custard with preserved cherries, milk...
Next lunch packed by her mother:
Half the bread compartment was filled with dainty sandwiches of bread and butter sprinkled with the yolk of egg and the remainder with three large slices of the most fragrant spice cake imaginable. The meat dish contained shaved cold ham, of which she knew the quality, the salad was tomatoes and celery, and the cup held preserved pear, clear as amber. There was milk in the bottle, two tissue wrapped cucumber pickles in the folding drinking cup, and a fresh napkin in the ring."

Another time her school friends help fill the lunchbox:
"We got to refill this box first!...Who's got the butter?"...A loaf of bread was produced and... filled the sandwich box... A bottle of olives was unwrapped... and filled the salad dish... A bag of macaroons was produced and the cake compartment filled...a bag of sliced ham filled the meat dish...A box of candy was handed to her and she stuffed every corner of the lunch box with chocolates and nougat."

Another lunch is described although this one isn't a packed lunch:
Then they returned to the kitchen where Mrs. Comstock proceeded to be careful. She broiled ham of her own sugar-curing, creamed potatoes, served asparagus on toast, and made a delicious strawberry shortcake. As she cooked dandelions with bacon, she feared to serve them to him, so she made an excuse that it took too long to prepare them, blanched some and made a salad.

The dandelions with bacon is the only thing I wonder about, blanching them to make salad I suspect would produce a bitter and limp salad, anyone familiar with dandelion with bacon or in a salad?

Neap · 16/03/2021 11:56

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

Angel cake is a very light textured and light-coloured sponge with white frosting, I think - possibly involving beaten egg white? Devil's Food Cake always appealed to me more, as it's a very dark chocolate cake with chocolate icing/frosting. When I was growing up, my mum had a recipe book with both recipes, probably in a novelty section on American Baking.
Yes, isn't there a reference to a recipe for Devil's Food Cake somewhere in an LM Montgomery novel -- might not be the Anne series, though. My vague recollection is that the very name was considered disreputable, as well as the fact that it required vast numbers of eggs, so it was almost never made, even for the specialest of occasions?