How to divide up housework of one of you is working and one isn't.

[binkymcbinks]

DH is currently not working. I work 4 days, 9-5 (out of the house 8.30-6 usually). Full on job in the NHS.

We're both, for various reasons, awful at housework. Pre lockdown we had a cleaner.
He's a decent cook and will cook dinner most nights. Meals aren't an issue.

Kids have gone back to school so he's free from 9-3.20 each day with no tasks that he NEEDS to do. Shopping is done online and delivered.

In this situation, how would you expect household duties to be divvied up?

I’d expect whoever was home with zero other responsibilities to do 90% of it.

If he was looking after a young child I’d suggest a more equal split, but he’s not.

(And there's no seething resentment about him not working btw. He was made redundant, and there are no other jobs about right now, but we are completely financially stable)

I'd expect all the laundry done and out away
Vacuumed through twice
Fresh sheets on the bed (weekly or fortnightly)
Bathroom cleaned weekly

Leaves plenty of time for job hunting etc.

I'm a sahm and I do all the house work. My husband does take the bins out maybe once a week and puts the wheelie bins out for collection.

He also takes care of the garden once a month or more in summer etc.

But, everything else house related, I do!

I do the bathroom every other day because hair and dust are easier to keep on top of that way.

I clean the kitchen multiple times a day.

Dust weekly

Hoover and mop multiple times a day

I'd expect him to do almost everything during the week and then share cooking/washing up on weekends.

I work long hours, my DH works 2 days a week, the only things I do are laundry, beds and a bit of cooking on the weekend.

If not working I'd want them to do the majority.
I'm a sahm with a teen, 3 year old and 1 year old. Also a dsc at weekends and holidays.
DH is out of the house 7.30 until 6.45pm
I do 95% of everything. All housework. Laundry, shopping etc. And all the cooking
I thibk it's only right. As he can come home and spend 45 min with kids before bed.
I like it this way. But if I say something needs doing he'd crack on with it.
He generally hoovers upstairs as I hate fighting the hoover up the stairs battling all the stair gates.!
I also do all. School runs and 99%of gardening.
Again its my Choice. When I do return to work well go back to each doing whatever needs doing when we're here.

I have low housework standards, but I’d say at least laundry done (so that’s probably 2-3 loads per week?), bedsheets changed every other week, hoovering once a week, a wipe down of the bathroom once a week, and dishwasher/kitchen surfaces daily.

Depends how old the kids are really as to whether they can do their own washing/room tidying etc.

Keeping on top of a house doesn’t need to be hours each day - if he did an hour’s effort a day then he’d easily do everything.

For dishwasher/laundry etc I think it’s fair enough if the working person sees it needs emptying/filling/swapping over that they pitch in with that, and clean any messes that appear in front of them (spills when cooking, mud from garden etc). Other cleans I think it’s reasonable to expect non-working person to sort.

I’d expect them to do pretty much everything that needs doing with the other picking up some of the evening tasks (washing up if dinner always sorted for example, packing school bags, etc). The other can also do a few things on their day off too.

OP if I was in your situation and ended up doing all the laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, kitchen deep clean, changing beds, vacuuming, floors, etc I would be very unhappy.

but I’d say at least laundry done (so that’s probably 2-3 loads per week?

For a family of at least 4?????!!!! You have to be joking!

We just do it as needed, if it needs done - do it...

We both work but I work less hours, so naturally I probably do more around the house because I see it first.

I don't work so I do it all, school runs, admin etc. No resentment whatsoever. But I do do the bare minimum, as long as laundry done and kitchen and rooms are cleanish and tidy!

I work three days, dp doesn't I expect that he does the items on the cleaning rota for the three days he's at home, also to do the teas and a load of washing each day. I'd like him to step up and take responsibility for all the cleaning, and household maintenance, if I'm totally honest.

In fact he doesn't do any of it apart from teas and some washing, which I am expected to respond to with a small medal and a congratulatory speech.

The person not working should be doing everything through the week - maybe share the cooking at weekends. Why wouldn’t it be this? Even doing that they’ve still got hours and hours of free time every day.

I'd expect whoever was at home to do at least an hour a day. So laundry one day, hoovering another, bathroom on another etc.
You should do your bit on fridays and share at the wkends. I assume he picks up the kids and then spends quality time with them?
I would however clean up after dinner if he cooks as for so.e reason I think this is the courteous thing to do. Probably because I hate cooking so much!
Sounds like a good set up if there is no resentment or financial worry!

I'm in a similar situation atm and do most of housework in the week, however I do get mardy if no one notices or says thanks!

Have you cancelled the cleaner because you can't afford it since he lost his job? If so, I would expect him to do everything the cleaner did.

The partner at home does most of it, doesn't matter who they are.

Fascinated how people think laundry can be done once a week or 2-3 loads a week! I do 2-3 loads a day and only have two kids! Anyway he should obviously be doing the majority of the housework. Depends what jobs you both don’t mind, you should still do some stuff on Fridays and at the weekend, but he should be able to dust/Hoover/laundry/kitchen/bathrooms during the week I would have thought.

Id expect him to do the cleaning daily.
And then Id split it at weekends.

Id expect the person home to do the bulk of the cleaning, with the caveat that normal adults pick up after themselves, pop their plate in the dishwasher, rinse the bath after they have had a bath, clean up a spill I find sometimes if one person is allocated as house cleaner the other adult seems to cease to function as an adult and expects someone to do everyhing for them like a serf.

Fascinated how people think laundry can be done once a week or 2-3 loads a week! I do 2-3 loads a day and only have two kids!

I do a load daily (usually), I alternate lights and darks and then towels/bedding gets done as an extra load once or twice a week.

So all in I probably do 10 or so loads a week. Plus we use reusable nappies so a load for them too.

You should have equal leisure time that's what is fair.

He should be doing about 90% of it.

I'm your partner in the scenario.
I do all housework, all cooking during the week, all laundry.
Weekends cooking etc is divided depending on what we each feel like doing

In that situation, I would expect him to do all the cleaning and laundry plus cooking during the week, and you to do washing up after dinner during the week and cooking at the weekend.