I am so very sad ... Would you consider walking with me and other women and girls at 6pm tonight - just out of your own front door, or in your local park?

[loveyouradvice]

Tonight there was to have been a vigil on Clapham Common cancelled by the police.... Heartbreaking on so many levels.

All the planned vigils have been cancelled.

But we are all allowed to walk - in our households or with one friend socially distanced.

Would you tonight consider walking with a candle?

Perhaps encourage others to walk too?

Even tell them where you might be going?

And courage calls to courage everywhere... Janice Turner's tweet summed it up perfectly - pasted below

I suspect many women will head to Clapham anyway this evening. Will be interesting to see if the Met dares arrest or fine them, given one of their own officers has been charged with Sarah Everard’s murder. What would the Suffragettes do?

Seriously would any other vulnerable group protesting a grotesque death allegedly by a police officer be told be kind, contain your anger, post hashtags online. But ladies: stay home, be nice.

Fuck lighting a candle, quite honestly.

Sarah Everard’s murder is appalling but just highlights the inequalities in our societies when compared to the coverage given to the murders of Bibaa Henry, Naomi Smallwood and Blessing Olusegun where were the marches and vigils? What does this say about how we, as a society view women of colour?

Apologies auto correct and lack of proofreading Naomi Smallman. Apologies.

@KittyMcKitty I agree with you. So everytime someone says is a rare occurrence and woman don’t need to worry we need to say “no it’s not” just same shit different day. Sarah wasn’t the first and she won’t be the last but we can’t just keep accepting it.

@Chipsahoy

What about the 30 other women who have been killed so far this year, that barely made news?

I really don't get this attitude. Because 30 women have tragically died and not made the news, this means it's wrong that Sarahs death has made the news and has made people sit up and take notice - not only of her tragic and untimely death but of all the other tragic and untimely deaths of women, and of the society we live in which allows these tragedies to happen over and over again? Is it somehow better to ignore Sarah's death because the other have been largely ignored (not by those who knew them obv)? Why? Being quiet doesn't change anything. Doing that same thing doesn't change anything. Will lighting a candle for Sarah, and all the other women who've lost their lives at the hands of violent men change anything? Maybe not, maybe it will. Maybe it is the pebble that will start an avalanche. Maybe it won't be - but does that make it wrong to light the candle or go for the symbolic walk? Don't do it if it means nothing to you to do so - but don't rubbish others for doing it.

I’m so sorry for Sarah’s family that are having to deal with this but it’s only big news because of the suspected murderer being a policeman. Sorry if that appears crass but there it is. Unfortunately we as a society are bombarded with horrendous happenings every day, it almost makes you numb to it. Years ago when it would be reported it was shocking,not now, it’s horrible to say it’s normal news.

Lots of people are killed in tragic circumstances - men, women and children. What is a walk really going to achieve?

@traintrain

If I were in London I'd be going to Clapham.

Fuck the Met, how dare they. One of their officers murdered a woman walking home

Many different marches have happened during lockdown and somehow it's only this one where everyone's patted on the head and told to stay home. Fuck the lot of them. Were they in the high court when anti maskers took to the streets of London?

I am going out at 6pm.

I hope people do turn up at Clapham Common tonight.

I think The Suffragettes would be turning in their graves seeing how badly women are still being treated.

Never a truer word said @Hidingunderthetable

I’ll light a candle tonight.

That poor woman was deceived and murdered by someone we are taught from childhood we’re supposed to trust.

I’m so sorry for her family.

@Hidingunderthetable well said, it's exactly how I feel. Once again we have been patronised, shamed, and told to be quiet. I have never been to a vigil or a demonstration in my life, but for once I feel the passion and anger burning in me, this is something I would show up for. I'm disappointed that so many women not only do not see the value in the vigil/walk, but also feel the need to shut it down, to argue it's not the same as this or that. Those attempts at ridiculing and shaming are part of the problem.

HeartsAndClubs
Tbh it all seems like virtue signalling to me. Much like clap for carers etc.

Totally agree as it will achieve absolutely nothing. Also why weren't you out walking with candles for the women who were killed by men in their lives?

@Hidingunderthetable I am not saying that Sarah Everard’s murder isn’t wholly appalling. It is and it should be condemned and yes people should protest. But you seem to be saying that the murders of Bibaa and Nicole - and let’s not forget policemen posed for selfies next to their dead bodies - should be a topic for black people to fight for and not the concern of mainstream media?

The death of every woman is beyond awful but the deaths of black women are largely ignored whereas in comparison to those of white women.

I’m not even going to comment on your distasteful comment about George Floyd (or the black criminal as you described him).

@Hidingunderthetable well said, it's exactly how I feel. Once again we have been patronised, shamed, and told to be quiet. I have never been to a vigil or a demonstration in my life, but for once I feel the passion and anger burning in me, this is something I would show up for. I'm disappointed that so many women not only do not see the value in the vigil/walk, but also feel the need to shut it down, to argue it's not the same as this or that. Those attempts at ridiculing and shaming are part of the problem.

/////

Agree with this so much.

@Hidingunderthetable - very well said - exactly why I am going to Clapham Common tonight at 6pm on my COVID approved exercise. Actually Sarah couldn;t have been me as she was young and beautiful and I am neither but she was taken from a street I have run along many many times. I am fed up of not being able to go out after dark and not being able to exercise where I want to unless I do so with a large group of other women. I'm fed up of feeling afraid, of looking over my shoulder, getting on a different carriage on the tube, walking down the middle of the road despite it being dangerous now we have almost silent electric cars on the roads. I'm fed up that everything in my life seems to have been designed by men for men and I hate to think that if we don't have a change my daughters' lives will be the same.

I'm sorry if people think that is virtue signalling - think what you like, I know why I'm going out tonight.

@KittyMcKitty how fucking dare you. If we get to the nitty gritty. George Floyd was killed by a policeman being arrested. Sarah Everard was walking home and was killed by a policeman. She was fucking WALKING HOME!!! But we could protest about a man being killed by a policeman, but not a woman?? What the actual fuck!!! And yes, I will call him a criminal because he was, he went to jail 8 times. However he died, it doesnt clear that record.

And regarding Bibaa and Nicole, what did YOU do to make this mainstream news? I never said it wasn’t a topic just for black women btw, but at the same time in say the muslim community, men aren’t going to listen to me, but they might their sister, wives etc. Thats the point I was making. But it seems its easier for some women to point a finger at things not being right for them then fight for change

I am deeply saddened by what happened to Sarah Everard. I wish I could hug her parents, it's heartbreaking that such a lovely, beautiful woman with so much of her adult life ahead of her has been murdered

Until lockdown, my niece was walking, (what we know of) the route Sarah took, at least twice a day, most days, at all times of day & night as she worked in both a retail outlet & a pub. She's not dissimilar to Sarah in size, shape, looks & style. It could just have easily been my niece as she's kind, helpful & trusting too

I'm very sad for all the women that have been murdered, whether by strangers or by people they knew.

But mass gatherings, during a pandemic, are going to end up with other lives being lost too...how does that help anyone?

Vigils are not going to change anything & possibly cost lives if you want meaningful change get writing not walking!

*Perhaps encourage others to walk too?

Even tell them where you might be going?*

Encouraging people to meet up & create small vigils is not responsible.

And actually if I can say this, this is precisely what some people are happy for women to do. If we all go tooth and nail at each other, then we can all be classed as hysterical and not worth listening to. If we all stood for the same point for everyone and used this as a tinderbox moment, we could change the world. Instead we are all shutting each other down and saying what about this that and the other
For some men sadly, if they saw these arguments in public, it becomes a prime moment to pick a woman off from her friends and do god knows what to her.

@traintrain

If I were in London I'd be going to Clapham.

Fuck the Met, how dare they. One of their officers murdered a woman walking home

Many different marches have happened during lockdown and somehow it's only this one where everyone's patted on the head and told to stay home. Fuck the lot of them. Were they in the high court when anti maskers took to the streets of London?

Unfortunately, the Covid Act was updated in November to ban all gatherings, and those other protests were outside of it. I'm going to light a candle outside my front door tonight. As much as I want our streets to be safe for women, I don't want more deaths from Covid and this lockdown to go on either longer. The quicker we come out of it, the sooner we can have even bigger vigils than the ones planned.

@Tickledtrout

I really object to the phrase"virtue signalling". What's wrong exacty with individuals acting in small ways that show their values and beliefs?

Absolutely agree.

It is such a soulless insult. Of course I demonstrate my values. If someone else hasn't got any values, that is their problem.

Im out now. Thanks mumsnet..... George Floyds history is well known, but yet I’ve been shut down for that. But yet people can basically try and say this murder shouldn’t be as protested etc as it was because she was a white woman. Without recognising what else I said. Thanks

@Hidingunderthetable I reported your comments on George Floyd as racist - they were and I’m pleased MN has deleted them.

If you had read my post I said that people should protest Sarah Everard’s murder - but I suggested we should all question why the murders of Bibaa, Nicole and the lack of investigation into Blessing’s death didn’t attract the same level of coverage in the press / Mumsnet and in parliament- and the only conclusion which can be drawn is because they were black.

The murders of black women are viewed differently to the murders of white women. All are appalling and all should get the same level of outrage. If I was Mina Smallman (which I am not obviously) I would want to know why people cared less about my daughters.

Hidingundertgetable you made some great points but also some terrible ones - rather then flounce maybe reflect?

With lockdowns everybody just wants something, anything to get involved with and jump on the band wagon

BLM
Clapping for the NHS
Sir Tom Moore
Sarah Everard

Not sure why she is being treated so differently to the other women that die each day and they don't get people trying to arrange a vigil

No because there's a pandemic on!

Cyber I've been assaulted twice. Bog off with your bandwagon nonsense.