Need to make myself poo before I go out in half an hour

[Needapoobeforegoingout]

Really hoping the name change has worked

Am going out to meet a friend in half an hour. Its an hour's walk there, then round a park with her for at least am hour, then an hour back. There are no loos anywhere.

I've had a dodgy tummy for the last few days and know I have to poo before I go out. I once didn't do so in similar circumstances and ended up having to fork out lots for a taxi home because the need was so sudden and urgent. I don't think I have ibs as it doesn't happen all the time, but enough to interfere with my life when there are no loos.

So I need to poo before going out. Have had two pints water and two black coffees and nothing. I really don't want to cancel/be late because of this. I hate that public loos and cafes are closed as this would have been such a non issue before lockdown.

Any ideas?

Take an immodium or similar now so you don’t have to go? I know it isn’t very healthy but ok as a one off, I do that when I know I can’t ‘go’ somewhere.

Well, if time was of the essence, I’d probably google rather than making a MN post to garner shit tips and stories.

Sit in a squat position or actually sit on the loo as sometimes your mind will do loo association,

Glycerin suppository?

@SmidgenofaPigeon

@SmidgenofaPigeon - Indeed

Strong coffee and feet raised on a box of some sort as you sit on the loo. Apparently feet around 6-7 inches replicates natural squat and helps things along. (Now there’s a sentence I didn’t ever think I’d post on mums net).

What a crock of shit. Pun intended.

Don’t go ?
Don’t give your friend your dodgy tummy bug ?

Lidl sugar free sweets are good for this.
Or sugar free polos.

Black coffee or orange squash/black currant squash in warm water.

Coffee and a cigarette. Not sure if this is worth taking up smoking for though... surely you will need a loo anyway with all the liquid you have had?

An HOUR's walk there? Are you mad, woman? Can't you just ring her, explain the problem and invite her to come and see you at your house? You could do lunch? There are lots of places that deliver lunch atm. so you don't have to handle food.

It's not a tummy bug, it happens semi regularly. I googled and lots about coffee and water which I've had tonnes of.

@Superstardjs I thought I would by now too

Well that’s stupid now you’ll just need a wee.

@Singlenotsingle she has a young baby so it's more of a pain for her to travel. Neither of us own a car.

I think I'll have to cancel which is a pity as I was really looking forward to seeing them.

surely you will need a loo anyway with all the liquid you have had?

^^ Exactly!

Public toilets aren't closed. Pack a plastic bag, tissues and wipes, spare pants??

If you've drunk two pints of water and all that coffee, you'll need the loo while you're out whatever happens about the poo.

Bush and leaves. Good luck.

A lot of the toilets in in my city are closed still. I also feel super uncomfortable/antisocial going outside unless in real proper wilderness. I think I will put off meeting her.

It's sad because it's a gorgeous day.

Just pack out the seat of your underwear with sanitary towels

Do the Macarena for half an hour and see if you can dislodge something.

Have asked her if we can push it back for an hour.

@Singlenotsingle

An HOUR's walk there? Are you mad, woman? Can't you just ring her, explain the problem and invite her to come and see you at your house? You could do lunch? There are lots of places that deliver lunch atm. so you don't have to handle food.

Assuming the OP is in the UK, this is illegal