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Original poster

Did you send your toddler to childcare when on mat leave with their sibling?

55 replies

Streats · 10/03/2021 11:53

DH and I work full time. DD goes to her childminder (I was going to switch to nursery but she loves it there, she’s confident, meeting milestones, and there are other kids to play with). I’m due to have baby no 2 just after she turns 3.

So is it reasonable for me to keep her going to the Childminder’s full time when my mat leave starts? I feel like she would get more out of it than being at home with me breastfeeding and feeling tired with no interaction with other children.

OP posts:
crumble82 · 10/03/2021 11:56

I did, just for 3 days/week in school hours. It gave me some alone time with the baby and also meant that she was able to have her normal routine even with everything changing at home.

BirthChoice · 10/03/2021 11:57

I’m currently a SAHM and am due in October. My 2 yr old (by October) will be starting nursery in September, partially BECAUSE of the baby.
I probably wouldn’t send full time BUT you might risk losing the full time space when you need it, and if that were the case then keep it! You don’t need to send her if you are paying for the place (presumably? I’ve not got much experience of childcare!)

Pinklittle · 10/03/2021 11:57

I'm in the same position and will be sending my 3 year old to nursery 4 days while on maternity leave, if the world was open and we could visit friends i think I would feel differently about it but at the moment she is getting the interaction she most definitely needs and won't gain much being stuck home with me at least for the first few weeks/months, hope that helps xx

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JuniLoolaPalooza · 10/03/2021 11:57

Absolutely. It's so boring for the toddler otherwise!

superram · 10/03/2021 11:58

Yes but the free 15 hours pretty much paid for it. They need to keep their routine snd you need to be able to rest.

SwimmingInToys · 10/03/2021 11:58

Yes we did although part-time not full time (had always been PT as I went back to work 3 days).

I think nursery or childminder can be really important for the children's development and they enjoy it so I didn't want to stop that. It also allowed me a bit of breathing room with the baby.

Hullabaloo31 · 10/03/2021 12:00

My eldest did 2 full (long) days at nursery when I went back to work after his mat leave. I kept the 2 days but did a 4pm pick up when his sister was born. The free hours pretty much covered it, and it kept him busy, and settled there for those days.

NameChange30 · 10/03/2021 12:01

DS was 3.5 when DD was born and we've continued to send him to nursery 3 days a week, as before. I've been considering increasing it to 4 days tbh because he's a PITA atm frankly and I think he's bored, it's impossible to keep him entertained while also looking after the baby with fuck all places to go.

Marmite27 · 10/03/2021 12:02

Yes, my eldest adored nursery and I didn’t want to take her out of her routine.

I was lucky that it was a workplace nursery and when I went into SMP work paid my nursery fees. By the time I was on no pay DC was on 30-hours funding.

ThankYouKindly · 10/03/2021 12:05

My dd was four and had just started preschool when her little brother was born. Her preschool was part of a private nursery so she went for preschool hours mon-wed and then on Thurs/Fri we paid for wraparound care so she did two full days. It meant I could get out to some baby classes without having to worry about finishing in time for pick up.

It was lovely getting to focus on ds for two whole days and dd loved nursery so it was a win win.

BlingLoving · 10/03/2021 12:05

Absolutely. DS only went part time anyway, so not sure if I'd have kept him going full time if he had been, but I suspect I mostly would have. And in Covid times, even more so as it's not like you can be out and about doing fun things with the toddler while the baby naps in the pram or whatever. Why mess with a routine that works?

And you still have the option to take the older one out for a day or make it a shorter day for a specific reason if you want to.

MeadowHay · 10/03/2021 12:06

I'm due in the autumn with DC2. DC1 goes to nursery three days a week and is looked after by a grandparent one day a week. On mat leave I will be reducing her to two days a week - the nursery have a two day minimum, and I think it's important to continue some aspect of her nursery routine, especially as after mat leave I will be returning to work so she will need to go back then and I need to hold a place for her. Plus will give me two days a week without both of them to juggle and focus on the baby. I may have left her for the three days but I will only be getting SMP so need to cut the cost too, although she will be in receipt of the 3yr funding.

MrsD28 · 10/03/2021 12:07

My two children have a similar age gap, and both DH and I work full time. I sent DS to nursery while I was on mat leave with DD (through my mat leave coincided with the first lockdown so he ended up being at home with us for a few months). He definitely got far more out of being at nursery than he would stuck at home with me while I breastfed a newborn! Plus he was in his last year at nursery before starting school (he is in Reception now), and I didn't want him to go straight from a very unstructured time at home straight into school.

He absolutely loved nursery, and was very happy to keep going. In fact, during the first lockdown he was really distressed that he couldn't go, and was asking every day about when he could see his friends and teachers again.

It might have been different if he were still very little - only 18 months perhaps - but at over 3 I think that nursery was the right choice for him.

mindutopia · 10/03/2021 12:08

Mine was school age when I was on mat leave again, but yes, I continued to send her for some holiday clubs, especially over the summer. It was really good for her to have some time at home with me, but also time with friends doing things that I couldn't do when I was tied to a tiny baby all the time.

Siennabear · 10/03/2021 12:11

I did 2days a week and I really looked forward to it. I have a small age gap and it was really tough in the early days. Plus it kept my eldest’s routine and it is very beneficial going to nursery. He had lots of fun going. Another reason was to keep his place as I returned to work after my 2nd mat leave. I loved those days with just me and littlest - it gave me a break!
If you are full time, perhaps reduce the days to 2-3 a week while on Mat leave?

Teakind · 10/03/2021 12:11

I think part time would be good for her. Full time seems a bit much to me as it’s a nice opportunity for you to spend extra time with her too.

Original poster
Streats · 10/03/2021 12:12

Thanks everyone. A few of you are saying not full time -which makes me think maybe I should keep her home a couple of days a week but I can't really put my finger on why or (at the moment!) think what I would do to keep her entertained while dealing with the baby too.

OP posts:
parietal · 10/03/2021 12:12

yes to keep the routine & to keep the place at a nursery we liked.

NameChange30 · 10/03/2021 12:14

@MeadowHay

I'm due in the autumn with DC2. DC1 goes to nursery three days a week and is looked after by a grandparent one day a week. On mat leave I will be reducing her to two days a week - the nursery have a two day minimum, and I think it's important to continue some aspect of her nursery routine, especially as after mat leave I will be returning to work so she will need to go back then and I need to hold a place for her. Plus will give me two days a week without both of them to juggle and focus on the baby. I may have left her for the three days but I will only be getting SMP so need to cut the cost too, although she will be in receipt of the 3yr funding.
Will the grandparent continue to do one day a week?

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was talking about reducing DC1's nursery days from 3 to 2, but DH persuaded me to stick to 3 for the first month after baby was born, and see how we got on. He was absolutely right and we have stuck to 3 days indefinitely.

So my advice is to ensure you have those 3 days whether it's 2 in nursery and 1 with grandparent, or 3 in nursery. You'll still have DC1 home for 4 days, which is looong when you also have a newborn and limited places to take them.

AbstractHeart · 10/03/2021 12:19

She's going to be 3 so it's a no brainier to me to at least send her for the free 15 or 30 hours.

I'm currently on maternity leave and DC1 is only 2 so no free childcare for us. At the minute I just take him to the park everyday so he can interact with other kids & obviously once lockdown ends we can go to toddler groups and soft play etc too.

Eteri · 10/03/2021 12:22

Yes.

Not everyday, but I think it's important for socialisation, development and their immune system to be around other grotty toddlers a couple of days a week from age 2ish. As adults, almost every single one of my children are still friends with a least one fellow toddler they met between the ages of 2 and 4.

MrsD28 · 10/03/2021 12:26

@Streats

Thanks everyone. A few of you are saying not full time -which makes me think maybe I should keep her home a couple of days a week but I can't really put my finger on why or (at the moment!) think what I would do to keep her entertained while dealing with the baby too.
If it helps, I kept DS full time until DD was six months old, when I reduced his hours. I was picking him up a bit earlier (4-ish) but he was still enjoying his full days.
MeadowHay · 10/03/2021 12:38

@NameChange30 ah yes I didn't say, I'm intending to keep the three days for the first month or two and then reduce to two days. Money will be right me being on SMP so cutting down that day will make a difference. Grandparent will be around to help me out a lot and might take DC1 for the odd few hrs here or there so I will have a lot of support and DH would be home for at least 2 weeks paternity leave and then two days a week after that. Also maybe me being naive but I'm hopeful by the autumn there will be a lot more to do like playgroups etc. I do appreciate your response though, I am sure I will be feeling very apprehensive about it all nearer the time!

TheTeenageYears · 10/03/2021 12:39

I did but it was 3 full days at nursery rather than full time and I went back to work when no.2 was 4 months old. From a routine perspective it made sense and also may have been an issue place wise. I'm not sure I would have done it if I'd been off for a year though.

HelplessProcrastinator · 10/03/2021 12:41

My DD was 2.10 when her sister was born. She had two days at nursery (using 15 hours funding at 3) and two mornings at GPs. It was perfect for us. When older DC was with me we carried on with play groups and meeting friends with baby in a sling. The baby learnt loads from watching big sister and had 1 to 1 time when sibling was in childcare.

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