Last fucking straw

[sarahC40]

Handhold please and advice (on how not to utterly lose my shit or get arrested for this). It’s not been a great lockdown.

Saving Grace: my garden. Lovely tree, probably in the wrong place but predates the houses, was cut down without warning, so that my view, which was of said lovely tree, is now of the back of someone’s house. They have now closed all of their blinds because, yes, we are now overlooking each other.

The tree is in no man’s land between the gardens - it doesn’t belong to them. They’ve got down everything that overhung my garden (my son woke up to find men climbing over my fence and most of tree gone) and they’ve left a twenty foot high stump. My other neighbours were open mouthed in shock, so this isn’t just me sounding off; it’s horrendous.

I know there’s nothing that I can do, but I would like some vengeful suggestions that I won’t act on but will help me as I try to stop crying at the fucking awful sight of their fugly house.

Have you seriously been crying over a tree? What do you think your really upset about?

Plant a eucalyptus at the bottom of your garden. We planted a 4ft tree and it was over 20ft within a year. It’s now about 50 ft but it’s airy so doesn’t block much light.

hopefully the council will give her a massive fine

Can you get some strategically placed mirror "sculptures" that reflect the sunlight directly into their house?

You might find that they quickly beg for a new tree to be planted.

That is horrible, and I completely understand why you’re so upset. We have lots of trees that are at the top of some empty land at the end of our garden. We would be in the same position as you I think but luckily everyone has left them there.

I’m not quite sure why some people think that it’s illegal to cut trees down from March for six months? Do they think that tree surgeons don’t do any work for half the year including the summer? There are restrictions on disturbing nesting birds but it’s not as extreme as that. I think maybe they might have picked up some of the stewardship rules for farmland.

So sorry, I'd be absolutely gutted too I'd definitely be planting some leylandii pronto!

the ash will be back, with a vengence. in the mean time report to the council asap. check the deeds as well. our neighbour has erected their fence just inisde their boundary which leaves us with a tiny strip of their land on ours. (mums)

we have a bush cutting murdering bastard living here with communal gardens and they have massacred the bushes. to bare branches. blackbird has nowhere to nest now. they ahve been nesting there for well over a decade.

on our side not ours, clearly if it is their land. doh

@EvilPea

If you go for the right species tree the birds will eat the berries and shit bright coloured acidic shit all over her house and car, which sounds like it will bother her more than you.

This: an elderberry grows quickly, has fab blossom that smells amazing and can be harvested for cordial , is covered in elderberries which are a magnet for pigeons who stuff themselves then perch nearby and shit purple copiously on cars, fences, patios and wheelie bins.

@averylongtimeago
However if it's berries that create "interesting " bird poo, Elder is a good one. It's more of a big bush than a tree - impossible to kill ime, pretty scented white flowers (elderflower champagne) followed by dark purple berries. Mil's neighbour had one which overhung mils patio- which was covered in purple bird poo every year. No amount of cutting it back got rid of it either!

As the neighbour doesn't like mess on her lawn, I was going to suggest buying a reasonably mature sycamore if they weren't too expensive, as those winged seeds get EVERYWHERE, but this is genius. It also has the added bonus of plausible deniability, as the obvious motivation for buying it is that the OP wants to try making elderflower based drinks, and she'll be as surprised as anyone about the coloured bird poo thing.

To block the view you could try bamboo IN POTS. Although I hate bamboo with a passion, and it may jump out of the pots, it's the fastest-growing tallest thing I can think of. Sorry OP, that is shit. I wonder why they did it? What does the NDN who you know say about it?

@GreenSlide

Sneak into her garden at night and plant bamboo and Russian vine everywhere.

Now this.....I like

Just no Japanese Knotweed.

I'm sorry @sarahC40, I can understand completely. I love looking at trees, it calms me down. This is just awful.

Who actually owns the piece of land the tree was on?

Recommendation Brown Turkey Fig trees grow quite quickly, don’t take much effort to look after at all, really hardy, can grow to about 20 feet tall, and you’ll get tons of fresh figs.

We live on a tree lined street. One morning I got out of the shower to hear chainsaws. The council were cutting down a beautiful cherry blossom that is on the street between mine and my neighbours front gardens. My ndn( he of leaf sweeping and bare soil in beds) had complained that it was diseased and got them to chop it. I cried op. But, I pestered the council for a year and got a new one right outside my house! I particularly enjoy autumn when ndn runs out to catch a leaf before it hits his bare soil!

I'm so sorry OP, my heart goes out to you and I totally know how you feel. In the last 18 months we have had new neighbours on both sides and at the back, and ALL of them have cut down huge mature trees. We used to look out onto a green oasis, but can now see the backs of ugly houses and crappy garages and the roof of Aldi to the right. It makes me want to move, but we've been here for 20 years, brought our kids up here and I love the house. But still, it breaks my heart.

I'm just waiting for the new people at the back to cut down the last remaining tree in their (astroturfed) garden when they realise it's some sort of willow that sheds fluff for about three weeks every spring. They virtually hoover their immaculately manicured plot and I know they won't tolerate the seeds, so I'm very grateful for the DEFRA tip off above. I watched them take down a beautiful yew the other weekend so will be poised to act if I hear the chainsaw again.

We planted two eucalyptus about 4 years ago and I can confirm they grow astonishingly fast and are beautiful and evergreen. Ours have now reached the height we want so we just prune them to keep them like that. I can't see why the pp above was so horrified at the thought.

Oh OP! This is heart breaking. I cannot believe the idiocy of some people.
Actually, I can. Because we had an ash behind our house (with a TPO because it was once part of old woodland) that some stupid bugger had cut down to an 8ft stump.

My ghastly neighbours did something similar. I planted a revenge hedge of bamboo for quick and deadly privacy. Carefully! There is a root barrier on my side of the border so it can only spread one way....

I'd report them to the council to be honest, the environmental team won't be amused. And I'm very surprised the tree surgeon cut down a tree that wasn't on the customers land..... You can't just go lopping down trees these days.

I just can’t describe how angry I would be. I’d rage, cry and want their fucking heads on a plate.
However, the tree is gone now and there’s no satisfaction to be had. Let them know how much they have upset you if you think it will make you feel better. Plant something pretty to replace it.
I’m truly sorry. Xx

To be honest, upsetting as it is she has probably long term done you a favour. Ash die back is hitting everywhere at the moment. We've had about 6 mature ashes just topple as the roots have been weakened. Fortunately in a field, not so funny if it is near your house.

Eucalytus as mentioned up thread growns like a weed and keeps its leaves year round. Do a bit of research, some grow huge, others are more suitable for gardens. Silver birch are very pretty, and allow light through. Ditto Rowans. The birds love Rowan berries too. If you want a brute of a tree just to annoy her go for a white poplar. They send up endless suckers which will spoil her lawn. Your's too though! They also grow absolutely huge and drop lots of leaves. Generally quite an anti social tree but I love them.

Try not to be too upset. I remember feeling the same when a gardener cut down my favourite smoke bush. I'd asked him to weed and edge. I came home and he'd cut a 15ft shrub down to a stump. Baffling. I got over it eventually!

She did like the tree but described her new neighbour as assertive and didn’t know she hadn’t spoken to us - we don’t back onto her, although I’ve just noticed that I can see into her house too. My son is talking about spray painting rude gestures onto the back of his blackout blinds and keeping them down all the time

Great idea...
But years ago I knew someone who had a neighbourhood dispute and they erected a ''Weather Cock'' un the form of a golden wingéd penis that twirled merrily in the wind..
and the council made them remove it as ''An offensive weather vane''

😂

You have my absolute sympathy.

My new neighbours removed the whole strip of hedging at the end of their garden last April and spent three days burning it to ash, while none of us neighbours could escape the house for more than an hour. Queue seven hours of thick smoke each day in all our houses.

It is their garden but it was right in the middle of nesting season and we had some very confused looking sparrows and pigeons for a while.

To make matters worse, they then raised the ground and built a beauty parlour in its place, overlooking our garden and house and adding bright lights, which shine into our upstairs and downstairs.

There's a special region of hell reserved for these people .

cool your jets and wait, revenge is always best served cold