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Original poster

How would you approach this delicate issue?

79 replies

CheltenhamLady · 07/03/2021 13:44

The elderly owner (97) of a house we have always wanted has just died. We want to buy this house before it goes onto the open market, as it is in a really desirable location and we don't want it to go to a bidding war. We can pay cash for it without selling our current property.

Friends know the son and probably have contact details for him. We don't know him. The funeral has not happened yet.

We have no idea if he will even sell, he may decide to move in himself, it may be left to grandchildren etc, we have no idea of the circumstances.

We are prepared to pay market price or slightly over, we are not looking to haggle on price (unless it is a ridiculous figure!) and selling privately would save them the hassle of estate agents and their fees. Also, we can move at their pace as we won't be selling ours.

We live quite close to the property.

When and how would be the best way to approach him?

How/when would you like to be approached in the same scenario?

Obviously, this is a sensitive situation but we don't want to miss the boat.

OP posts:

Bloodybridget · 07/03/2021 13:47

I don't think it would hurt to get the son's address and send a short letter expressing sympathy, and your interest in buying the house if he is planning to sell. He might be very pleased.

SoupDragon · 07/03/2021 13:48

How well do your friends know the son? Could they mention it to him?

Moondust001 · 07/03/2021 13:49

How/when would you like to be approached in the same scenario?

I wouldn't. Full stop. I would consider you vultures.

Let's be honest, your fake concern for them being able to save a bit of money on estate agents if they wanted to sell isn't really any attraction, but I can certainly see why you don't want a bidding war if the property is that desirable. It'll cost you significantly more than if you can snaffle the property at what you think is fair (to you).

Honestly, what you are suggesting is pretty awful. But if you do it anyway, please make sure the body is cold before you say anything, won't you?

Interested in this thread?

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General money

icelollycraving · 07/03/2021 13:49

I think I’d wait for the funeral to have passed comfortably if going through a friend.

Boph · 07/03/2021 13:56

This happened to me when mum died last year. A couple who knew her and the house expressed an interest. They contacted me a couple of months after the funeral. No point doing it earlier as probate takes a few weeks (if you do it yourself, many months if you employ a solicitor).

The thing is as executor you have to be seen to obtain the best price. I told him I would be getting three estate agents to value and would let him know what it was worth. My sister and I decided not to sell it privately as we had no way of knowing whether he was genuine. EAs vet potential buyers and their ability to proceed.

Original poster

CheltenhamLady · 07/03/2021 13:57

@Moondust001

How/when would you like to be approached in the same scenario?

I wouldn't. Full stop. I would consider you vultures.

Honestly, what you are suggesting is pretty awful. But if you do it anyway, please make sure the body is cold before you say anything, won't you?

I would expect (and want) them to obtain market valuations from local EA's. It is not about what I consider fair. I did already say that we were willing to pay over the market price.

It is not 'fake concern' it would be a mutually beneficial transaction.

I was asking to avoid seeming like a 'vulture' but it appears you have already decided that is what I am for even considering buying this house. Hey Ho!

OP posts:

Porridgeoat · 07/03/2021 13:58

Wait till about a week after the funeral to make contact

PearlclutchersInc · 07/03/2021 14:02

We tried that with my partner's parents neighbour. We were prepared to pay the value and save them the estate agent fees.

We got totally blanked

lubeybooby · 07/03/2021 14:03

if it's in a good location and a bidding war is possible then the seller deserves to benefit from that. Wait til it hits the market if it does, and then put your offer in rather than trying to cheap out a grieving person

icelollycraving · 07/03/2021 14:03

@PearlclutchersInc

We tried that with my partner's parents neighbour. We were prepared to pay the value and save them the estate agent fees.

We got totally blanked

You wanted to live next door to your in laws?

that’s a mn first.

Original poster

CheltenhamLady · 07/03/2021 14:07

@lubeybooby

We wouldn't have an issue with that, except that at least one of the most popular EA's has a habit of facilitating viewings for clients who have already sold with them before anyone else gets to see it. That way, they gain two sets of commission. They are well known for it, and who is to say that practice is not rife in the locale?

We wouldn't be selling our home until we had renovated the new one.

We feel that we probably wouldn't be on a level playing field due to the above.

OP posts:

BurgundyBells · 07/03/2021 14:07

Definitely wait until after the funeral before making contact.

It would likely be several months before the house went up for sale so I wouldn't worry about missing it... I would leave it a week after the funeral before sending a letter.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2021 14:19

This happened to me, at my grandmothers funeral someone local approached me and said they wished to buy her home. I was quite stunned, but not remotely offended as they had no way to contact me otherwise.

I told the solicitor and he simply said let me handle it, it needs to go on the market, it’s going to be desirable for where it is, even though I was ok with selling it to the person who asked. So I let the solicitor handle it.

Sadly for the potential buyer there was a bidding war, so we eventually went to sealed bids and it went for much more than market value and what the woman had offered and they lost out.

So I’d say approach at any time if you know them, but if it’s desirable they would be stupid not to go to market.

SquirtleSquad · 07/03/2021 14:23

I was an EA and loads of people had this where they'd been approached by neighbours or friends or friends about buying their deceased families properties. 9 times out of 10 in my experience they had not appreciated being approached like that.
Tread carefully OP if you do decide to go down that route.

MrsCat1 · 07/03/2021 14:27

After my father died a potential buyer put a note through the door expressing interest in buying the house. It was a couple of weeks after the funeral and I wasn't the least bit offended. I got in contact with them and they actually came round to view but in the end they bought a different house as probate took a long time to come through. So I would drop them a note.

AlmightyBob · 07/03/2021 14:28

It sounds like it's more beneficial for the family, if they do want to sell it, to let it go to a bidding war. The fact that you're so keen to avoid that suggests that you know it could go for a lot more than you are hoping to pay for it.

If you must approach the family, I would do it about a month after the funeral.

TheLumpySofaCushion · 07/03/2021 14:30

I don't think there's anything wrong with a very delicately worded letter, OP.

When my mum's house went on the market after she'd died, I had a very nice note put through the door about her Ercol furniture - saying it was lovely, had value and asking me to get in touch if I was planning on selling at any point.

I kept the note and did sell the furniture to that person at a later date.

lljkk · 07/03/2021 14:35

I like what B-Bridget said.
I suppose words like "if there is a plan to sell the property please keep us in mind" is what I would aim for.

It sounds like OP must have personally known the deceased & therefore can make some personal statements about how they were a nice person or did good for their community. Make the words about them personal & nice anyway.

Lou898 · 07/03/2021 14:43

I was asked a similar thing at my mums funeral, I was offended as I thought it was an inappropriate time. However had they popped a note through my mums letterbox for me to see when I heckled on the property I would have been ok with this. As it happens I’m not intending to sell but had I been this would have given me options.
Timing and approach is key.

butterpuffed · 07/03/2021 14:44

@Bloodybridget

I don't think it would hurt to get the son's address and send a short letter expressing sympathy, and your interest in buying the house if he is planning to sell. He might be very pleased.

He might also be very annoyed and realise the only reason you're expressing sympathy is because you're interesting in buying the house !

LadyLolaRuben · 07/03/2021 14:45

Put a very polite and carefully worded note through the door after the funeral

tootyfruitypickle · 07/03/2021 14:48

Probate will take ages and you will probably see signs that it is being got ready to sell- that's the time to approach. I would leave it at least 2-3 months, I think I'd be really upset if someone approached me and wouldn't sell to them out of sheer bloody mindedness, but then I've had some crappy selling experiences so don't trust anyone in that process!!

PanamaPattie · 07/03/2021 14:51

Wait until it comes on the market.

Kgrzghtechh · 07/03/2021 14:54

How is it mutually beneficial?

Time40 · 07/03/2021 14:56

Get their address from your friends and contact the owner asap, OP. Make it clear you're prepared to offer slightly over market value. It would be bloody daft to miss out on your dream house because you're trying to be sensitive.

I had a few enquires when my last remaining parent died, and I didn't mind at all. I eventually sold the house to one of these people. I got a fair price, and I was very pleased not to have the bother and uncertainty of putting the house on the market.

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