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Original poster

How would you approach this delicate issue?

79 replies

CheltenhamLady · 07/03/2021 13:44

The elderly owner (97) of a house we have always wanted has just died. We want to buy this house before it goes onto the open market, as it is in a really desirable location and we don't want it to go to a bidding war. We can pay cash for it without selling our current property.

Friends know the son and probably have contact details for him. We don't know him. The funeral has not happened yet.

We have no idea if he will even sell, he may decide to move in himself, it may be left to grandchildren etc, we have no idea of the circumstances.

We are prepared to pay market price or slightly over, we are not looking to haggle on price (unless it is a ridiculous figure!) and selling privately would save them the hassle of estate agents and their fees. Also, we can move at their pace as we won't be selling ours.

We live quite close to the property.

When and how would be the best way to approach him?

How/when would you like to be approached in the same scenario?

Obviously, this is a sensitive situation but we don't want to miss the boat.

OP posts:
Ohdoleavemealone · 07/03/2021 14:56

DH Gran died 8 weeks ago. Funeral 2 weeks ago tomorrow. No one would be offended to recieve a letter expressing interest in buying her house.
It needs to be sold and they don't want the fuss. It depends what you mean by "just died". 2 days ago? Weeks ago? A month?

rosesarered321 · 07/03/2021 14:57

My mum died not so long ago, and I think a letter through the door a month after the funeral expressing an interest in the house would be fine. I'd you don't know the dead person at all a simple in sorry for your loss would be fine.

partyatthepalace · 07/03/2021 14:58

I’d give it a month after the death and then post a short letter if you can get his address from your friend. If you knew her you can say something nice, say you always loved the house and if they are thinking of selling please keep you in mind.

I don’t think anyone could be offended by that. The PP suggesting you are a vulture is a leeetle bit batty - the woman was 97 so the family can hardly be reeling in shock, and if they are planning to sell it’s helpful to know about private buyers.

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General money
MargaretThursday · 07/03/2021 15:00

I would have thought that the only way to do this was probably if your mutual friends know the son very well, and if selling the house came up in conversation say that they may know someone who might be interested. If the son sounds positive about that as a possibility only then approach.

In all honesty even though you've written about "saving him estate agent fees" and made it sound like you're trying to do him a favour, I think it's more about you avoiding a bidding war.
If you're happy to pay enough to win the bidding war, then it doesn't matter going into it. If you aren't then you're trying to undercut the bidding war and ultimately he'll probably end up with less than if he pays the agent fees.

lljkk · 07/03/2021 15:00

I suppose main plausible shared benefit is quick sale.
This can matter a lot to many sellers, less hassle, and they can benefit from getting profits sooner.
There can also be a savings in EA fees for seller, but that's harder to be sure about.

Properties of deceased can be burdens so knowing there is demand for it may be perfectly welcome information to those not wanting the hassle of a long wait to sale.

Time40 · 07/03/2021 15:01

If you must approach the family, I would do it about a month after the funeral

Far too "sensitive"! A sale could have been agreed by then!

Original poster
CheltenhamLady · 07/03/2021 15:21

A range of views here!

I did know the lady, she was lovely, but in later years a bit of a recluse due to health issues. I will be sending a sympathy card but wouldn't want to put a note in with that, as I think that would be a bit/lot insensitive depending on your pov.

When my last parent died I would have been happy to receive an approach that was genuine. It would have saved all the hassle of getting agents round to photograph, and the fees.

It is all about timing, but if it is a straightforward will (and she was a solicitor) so I would imagine everything is correctly done, then it may move faster than has been suggested.

To the poster that asked how was it mutually beneficial, this a house which, working on a % fee for the sale, would be quite a considerable amount of money. From our side, it would avoid the shady practice of the local EA who is working the market to bolster his commission by giving viewing priority to those who have sold via him.

OP posts:
SquirtleSquad · 07/03/2021 15:31

Is this in the South Op?

Original poster
CheltenhamLady · 07/03/2021 16:18

@SquirtleSquad

Is this in the South Op?
Does it make a difference?
OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 07/03/2021 16:42

To be honest, estate agents and photographs are not really the hassle you’re making it out to be. If you’re getting them round for a valuation it’s not a big deal to sign a contract and agree a time for a photographer to come round.

It’s likely they know it’s a desirable property. As such the odds are they will want to market it, for the same reasons as you’d prefer them not to. What wouldn’t be in your favour, will be in theirs.

I see no issue in getting his contact details and saying something like

“ please excuse me for intruding in your loss at this difficult time. We live at x place and have always loved your parents beautiful house and would be interested in potentially purchasing. If you decide to sell please keep us in mind. I knew your mother many years ago and she was a lovely woman. I’m sorry for your loss. Cheltenhamlady.

Email address
Phone number.

However unless they are idiots, they will know the houses value and the demand, and will likely go to market,

Trekkerbabe · 07/03/2021 16:46

I agree with a pp. Drop them a note. My parents bought our family hone privately after the owners divorced. Slightly different situation but they put a note through the letter box and the owners got in touch

TheLumpySofaCushion · 07/03/2021 16:51

@CheltenhamLady - I'm with you on the dropping a note through the door, but I'm not with you on 'shady agent practice'.

Agents need to know that potential buyers can be trusted / are in good moving position / can be managed as part of a chain.

All of these things are considerably easier if there are less agents / sales progressors involved - ie, if the buyers are already on their books as part of a sale. The agent is then, also, EXTRA committed to get all sales through to completion. Absolutely winner from a vendor perspective and not shady in the slightest.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2021 17:14

I think you also need to recognise that when the agents come round to value it, they will do every thing in their power to convince the son to market it. Convincing them they can achieve more for it. Possibly inflating the value to get the business. You might also not be the only person expressing interest.

It’s clear what you’re trying to do, swoop in before it ever gets to market and seal the deal. It’s possible you’ll be lucky but the odds are not in your favour. Even if the son is totally clueless and gullible there will be enough people round him who will advise him to go to market.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2021 17:16

I’d also not be mentioning shady agent practice, id discount you immediately if you pedalled that shite to me, as someone trying to pull a swift one.

Go for it, but play cautiously.

oohmamama · 07/03/2021 17:30

Urgh

Angrymum22 · 07/03/2021 17:51

My parents lived on a road that was very sought after and houses rarely went on the open market. The first we knew of our next door neighbours moving was when friends of my mum and dad phoned to ask for next door neighbours phone number. My parents were actually very close to their original neighbours and they were going to tell my parents about moving before it went on the market, I don’t know how friends knew. Anyway they got the house and old neighbours saved money on EA.
When my dad eventually sold the house, it was to a couple who had been waiting for a house on the road to go on the market for a few years. He had some interesting viewings where he was offered cash on the spot. But he didn’t want it to go to a bidding war. He wanted to sell to someone the neighbours would be happy with.
If it is a very popular area the family may be aware that they will get enquiry’s before it goes on the market. I would leave it until a few weeks after the funeral. If you are cash buyers and not part of a chain then you will have an advantage.

Original poster
CheltenhamLady · 07/03/2021 17:59

[quote TheLumpySofaCushion]@CheltenhamLady - I'm with you on the dropping a note through the door, but I'm not with you on 'shady agent practice'.

Agents need to know that potential buyers can be trusted / are in good moving position / can be managed as part of a chain.

All of these things are considerably easier if there are less agents / sales progressors involved - ie, if the buyers are already on their books as part of a sale. The agent is then, also, EXTRA committed to get all sales through to completion. Absolutely winner from a vendor perspective and not shady in the slightest.[/quote]
It is shady when buyers (such as us) with cash ready and waiting for the right property are put behind those who are dependant on a sale going through to complete the purchase. Additionally, this particular agent only allows 'outsider' viewers in after he has shown it to those who are selling via him.

We viewed 2 properties via this agent and agreed to view one more. The first 2 were already under offer from people selling via him and the third went under offer before we could view, again, to his clients. All those buyers needed mortgages and had chains. We had neither, but we were not allowed to submit our asking price (or in one case higher) offer or told that we could not view it as it was already sold.

That last sale fell through due to a chain breakdown.

If I was a seller I would want buyers who could proceed, regardless of whose client they were.

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 07/03/2021 18:07

@Moondust001

How/when would you like to be approached in the same scenario?

I wouldn't. Full stop. I would consider you vultures.

Let's be honest, your fake concern for them being able to save a bit of money on estate agents if they wanted to sell isn't really any attraction, but I can certainly see why you don't want a bidding war if the property is that desirable. It'll cost you significantly more than if you can snaffle the property at what you think is fair (to you).

Honestly, what you are suggesting is pretty awful. But if you do it anyway, please make sure the body is cold before you say anything, won't you?

Agree with this. You have no idea what the execs will decide to do with the house. Also this ‘It sounds like it's more beneficial for the family, if they do want to sell it, to let it go to a bidding war. The fact that you're so keen to avoid that suggests that you know it could go for a lot more than you are hoping to pay for it.’

I think the excess will know the value of the e house and you’ll just make a fool of yourself, putting in a cheeky offer...

goose1964 · 07/03/2021 18:09

There are definitely shady people out there, my cousin used to go to houses where someone who had lived died (I believe they got the information from the Probate registry) with a suitcase full of cash, about 2/3 of the value of the house to get them to sell to her then partner's business who'd then do a quick overhaul and put it back on the market or rent it out.

2bazookas · 07/03/2021 18:11

No rush, wait till the funeral is past then ask your friends for his name and address and post a letter to the son .

In the leter you can mention you got his details from your friends the Bloggs, know the house because you live nearby, and would like to discuss buying if they decide to sell.

He may mention this to the mutual friends so prime them with the fact you want it for your family home, and will pay a good price in cash.

TheLumpySofaCushion · 07/03/2021 18:12

Sorry, OP, I'm not with you on that.

Cash buyers are NOT necessarily more viable than those in a chain.

They MAY be, but also they are not as committed / in need of the process to happen, and can change their mind at any time.

It's not as cut & dried as you make out, and you have made yourself out to be a little shady yourself by trying to position your offer as the best one for the (maybe) seller.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2021 18:17

I don’t really understand what you’re saying op, are you saying you tried to book viewings and they made you wait weeks or something? And you found out you asked for the viewing before someone else and they got it first ? That’s a bit weird. Generally agents don’t give a fuck they just want whomever pays the most,

CMOTDibbler · 07/03/2021 18:20

After my parents died, the people who lived 5 doors up asked the next door neighbours (who were keeping an eye on the house for me) if they knew what we were planning to do with the house, and if we were planning to sell it, if we'd mind them contacting us to discuss. The email I then got after saying yes was very nicely worded, told me that they were desperate to stay in the area, and that mum and dads house (which needed a full renovation) would be perfect for them for a number of reasons. So I got valuations, and they bought it, and are doing a lot of work to make it into a beautiful family home again. It could possibly have made more on the open market, but I was much happier that it was going to someone who wanted it, rather than a developer.
So do it, after the funeral, with a very carefully worded letter, and if your friends can have a quiet word with the son first, all the better

Original poster
CheltenhamLady · 07/03/2021 18:21

I think the excess will know the value of the e house and you’ll just make a fool of yourself, putting in a cheeky offer...

Is above-market valuation a 'cheeky' offer?

I have already said we want the 'seller' to have the property valued and we would be happy to offer above that.

It is not the bidding war per see that we are worried about, it is the fact that we may lose out due to not selling our own property via the same agent (should they choose that particular agent who is high profile for this area) They may not and we have had much better experiences with other agents. In that case it may not be an issue.

We are not trying to be shady or cheat the seller in any way.

OP posts:
samandcj · 07/03/2021 18:21

We we approached by a prospective buyer just after my DM had died. They put a card through the door with their contact details.
It did not offend me at all - why would it?
I did get in touch with them and the sale proceeded.......very slowly (probate took a long time)
We got 3 valuations (needed for probate). They saved us the cost and bother of using Estate Agents.