Any women with ADHD here that can offer some advice please?

[SkankingMopoke]

For background: DD is in the early stages of getting to the bottom of things she struggles with. DH and I have always felt there were lots of little things that diverged from the norm or what was expected, but there were no clear indicators and when we had previously queried with school/preschool we were told 'no corncerns' - she's well behaved, wants to do well, and is bright. Concerns were initially pegged to her being young in year. Lockdown #1 flagged a host of new concerns and showed other things we'd previously noticed to be more acute. The school observed her for 1/2 a term at the start of the year and agree there are flags. They are continuing to monitor and have put in a few things to help with some of the things she finds difficult. The boxes she is ticking are still all over the place, but it seems to mostly point (in my completely unqualified view) to ADHD. Cue an awful lot of reading up from myself, particularly on how it affects girls/women...

Well, it has been an utterly bizarre experience. I feel like I've been reading a description of my life. I always knew I struggled with a lot of things others seemed to find easy, but just put it down to everyone being different/they hide it better etc. I had first thought that as I'd made it this far without any sort of help/label etc then there was little value in pursuing it further. I've figured out a lot of my own coping methods, and mostly surrounded myself with friends who are very similar so understanding of any quirks. However, this lockdown has really ramped up the struggles and I'm beginning to feel that if this isn't just something I've armchair-diagnosed myself with then I really need to get a handle on it for my family's sake if not mine. The last time I was feeling this bad it had a horribly detrimental effect on my business and mood at home, and took a long time and, eventually, a course of CBT to get on top of the worst of it. Friends and DH already (kindly!) label me as one of life's great underachievers, and I don't want to let any more opportunity pass me by either.

What I'm wondering is:

• Am I supposed to go to my GP with this initially? How would I broach it? I feel so much of it is me, but I'm worried about being dismissed. I know it can be a shorter journey for adults, but what is the timeline?
• How much will a diagnosis really help? Or would it be something that would get DD help quicker even if it doesn't help me so much? (Ticking the 'parent with the condition' box)
• Have you disclosed it to your employers? Did it cause any problems? I am SE currently, but I am hoping that will change in a few years and am worried it would disadvantage me.

Well done @SkankingMopoke. Brilliant first step!

I went to pick up my meds from the chemist yesterday to be told that my prescription had expired a couple of days ago . I have been putting it off for a while

@Tickandsired that does sound like a classic woman-with-adhd history. I was diagnosed at 45 and it's made a real difference to my life, so I would recommend it. Good luck

@SkankingMopoke Well done! It took me months to make another GP appointment to push for my Right To Choose Assessment with psychiatry UK. They were really quick once the GP referral went through, can choose a specific doctor to see or opt for any on earliest date.

One thing to consider for those paying to go private it may not just be the assessment fee as if opt for meds also need to fund the titration process & maybe ongoing medication prescriptions as its not guaranteed that nhs/GP will accept a shared care agreement.

Its definitely worth getting a diagnosis @tickandsired whatever your age if the symptoms are having a negative effect on your life. ADHD does sound likely.

Hyperactivity is also a restless mind but there's 3 types hyperactive/impulsive, inattentive & combined - a mix of traits of the 2

I had my first psych appointment last week and he still needs to do the Deva testing but he is fairly sure from our discussion that I do have ADHD. The preferred next step is a further consultation with a close family member present to confirm behaviours but I've said I'm not happy to do that and he has agreed to work around it. We will discuss treatment options next time.

I self referred and saw him privately @ approx. £1,000 for two sessions. There was a 4 month wait for the appointment. I couldn't get an appointment with my DC's psych until next February so went with his colleague instead.