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Did you leave home knowing how to cook?

120 replies

lemorella · 05/03/2021 10:58

I left home so unprepared for adulthood.

I arrived at uni and thought it was perfectly fine to live off peanut butter. I didn't start cooking properly until I met my DH in my mid 20s and was trying to impress him. I just taught myself through a bit of trial and error and the bbc good food website. I love cooking now and do most of it as it's my way to unwind. I was never involved with any cooking when I lived at home and was never asked to contribute to the household in any way chores-wise.

I also had no idea how to manage money, I could set up and pay bills just fine but constantly lived in my overdraft despite having a job through uni and a good loan, then subsequently an okay paying job. It wasn't until I started saving for a house that I learned to budget.

I don't blame my parents at all for my hopelessness but I can't believe they let me be so lazy and contribute so little to the household when I lived there and then let me leave home never having cooked a meal! (We were quite poor not that that makes a difference, always had food in the house).

Did anyone else leave home the same way or did you have parents who instilled the life skills needed in you?

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/03/2021 13:20

And yes, I do cut crosses in Brussels sprouts because I was taught to. It was my job when I was about four, with a relatively blunt knife. I just can not neglect to do this.

scubadub · 05/03/2021 13:20

Yes. I did home economics in school so from the age of 13 I knew how to cook
A roast dinner
Lasagna
Shepherds pie
Fish pie
Pan fried fish
Risotto
Chicken casseroles
Various sauces from scratch
White bread
Brown bread
Pizza
Stir fry
How to cook rice
A sponge cake
Scones
Fruit filled tarts
Meringues
Fairy cakes

There's more but I can't remember them all...

Bouledeneige · 05/03/2021 13:22

No I was a completely rubbish cook and couldn't manage my money at 18 when I went to university. Bless her heart my Mum was a terrible and very un-adventurous cook so I didn't really have anything to emulate. I think I only really got proficient at cooking in my 30s. I am quite a good cook but now my DC are away at uni I don't bother that much just for myself.

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 05/03/2021 13:26

I learned to cook at 15 because my mum worked late and if I didn't cook we wouldn't eat until 8pm. I had a job from 16 and learned to manage my wage with help from my parents. I also did my own laundry and helped with the cleaning. To be honest I resented it at the time mainly because my brother did much less and I thought rightly that it was unfair. But having said that I'm glad now because I was very self sufficient when I went to uni. I'll be doing the same (hopefully) with my boys .

RaininSummer · 05/03/2021 13:27

No. It may have been yes if I emulated family meals which were very meat and 2 veg based. I never really enjoyed them and also couldn't afford it so quickly became vegetarian necessitating really learning to cook especially since in the eighties there were no ready vegetarian meals.

lemorella · 05/03/2021 13:29

I should add I got an A* GCSE in food technology (think this replaced ye olde home economics??)

All that consisted of was me making ten variations of a stuffed pepper and designing packaging for it!

OP posts:
Justajot · 05/03/2021 13:47

I knew enough to follow recipes. So I could cook things like a white sauce or bolognese, but might have needed to look at a recipe for quantities and timings. Though I am quite forgetful, so I still need to check these things.

I suppose I see cooking as some basic skills - frying, baking, grilling, folding whisking etc. On that basis, I'd argue that I can cook nearly anything, even if I've never cooked it before. There are some fiddly things I've never done which I might not get right first time, so I couldn't claim to be able to make a souffle as I think you'd need evidence of a successful one before claiming that ability.

babyyodaxmas · 05/03/2021 13:47

Yes, I can't remember not being able to cook. I could certainly make a meal (something like lasange or stir fry ) by 14. Cakes, biscuits and fudge much younger. Both DCs (age 14& nearly 17) can cook for eg: pasta, curry and various soupy noodly things.

thelegohooverer · 05/03/2021 13:50

I was similar to RaininSummer
I could cook meat and two veg from the time I was 12 but I became a vegetarian and had to figure that for myself in college. I used to buy a new spice every month and experiment. I cooked a meal in my mum’s kitchen a couple of years ago and had to nip to the shops for garlic, tomato purée, olive oil (that wasn’t a decade out of date) and ground black pepper.

Dayafterday · 05/03/2021 13:50

I didn’t have a clue. I couldn’t even peel a potato. I used to buy tinned potatoes when I first went to uni.

My mother was always cooking and cleaning but didn’t think children should do anything. Plus she always liked to be in charge of it I think to get it done properly as she was very houseproud.

Someone bought me the Delia how to cook book and I learn from that. Still not that keen mind but I know all the basics.

Needhelp101 · 05/03/2021 14:06

Our internet went on the blink a few days ago and, wrenched from screens, my 10 year old son cooked a lemon drizzle cake all by himself AND did the washing up unprompted 😳 (unprecedented). I have no fears for him if he decides to go to university.

Sell it to your kids as making a big mess 😁

Zenithbear · 05/03/2021 14:10

Yes my parents were both very apt at cooking and the only special time I had with my mum was baking because her favourite child wasn't interested.

Ormally · 05/03/2021 14:12

Yes, I knew how to cook like a boss - since my parents had not attained these skills (nor by the time they left uni). If anything I enjoyed it much more in the years around my 20s as it wasn't the daily grind of cooking for the whole household that it is now.

Ormally · 05/03/2021 14:14

(And like some PPs, my Mum worked evenings and nights. Dad's contribution relied heavily on Vesta ready meals or fish and chips.)

trevthecat · 05/03/2021 14:19

I wasn't prepared for adult life. My mum only cooked us freezer food. I knew nothing about money, housework or food shopping. When she moved away and I was 19 I had to live on my own and learn quick. Now I love cooking, it's my relaxation! My older kids (8 and nearly 11) can do simple meals themselves. They need to know. I have found I don't mind most housework and the kids have to help. And we talk about finances. I don't want them to have to learn like I did

AnExcellentWalker · 05/03/2021 14:20

I left to go to university with 2 recipes written down, neither of which I’d ever made, 1 had a deliberate error by my mother who didn’t want to admit she’d been using meat stock cubes - I was vegetarian. I assumed I was a rubbish cook for ages. I bought a typical student cookbook & taught myself. Both my parents were good cooks but never bothered to teach us.

Chimeraforce · 05/03/2021 14:26

Yes. I could do it all. I came from a poor background and saw what happened when bills are not paid and poor mental health means poor employment or the dole. Had to cook, do chores on a rota so that was fine. Couldn't afford any takeaway until I got a job.
My DDs mate can make brownies. That's it. No eggs, pasta, pancakes, omelette, yorkies puddings, salad, noodles, cheese toasties. Her mum does everything.
My DD can do all the above and changes her own bedding and dies the dishwasher every 3 days.
No point raising dependent people. It makes them wimpy.

EBearhug · 05/03/2021 14:41

Yes. I remember making jam tarts pre-school, and we helped with things like weighing ingredients for the Christmas cake and pudding when quite little - plus stirring the mix and wishing on it. They sort of cooking was quite a family event. We hot involved with things like stirring the gravy for Sunday roast as soon as we were tall enough to reach, and we got jobs like peeling potatoes and so on. We also gained plenty of experience in picking and preparing soft fruit and freezing it, making jam and so on. Also how to pluck and draw pheasants, boil and press tongue and so on. I grew up on a farm, so I knew about food from the field to the plate. And once we could read, we were often used to help when cooking to a recipe, "how much caster sugar does it say?" The only things we didn't do was deep fat frying (chips) for safety reasons, and by the time I was old enough, we had oven chips instead.

My parents also had quite a few parties, which was usually catered for with a buffet. Mum was good at puds, so I knew how to do meringues and choux pastry from about age 10 or so.

My mother had a bit of an obsession around good poisoning, so we knew about salmonella, listeria, brucellosis and do on, and how to tell if things were off, when not to use tinned or jarred foods, not refreezing things once thawed and so on.

From quite young, there would be days when the kitchen table was covered with newspaper and we would clean all the silver and brass together. We were involved with dusting from quite little, but quite a bit older when using the vacuum, which was a big heavy upright - you could probably get children started earlier with modern lighter vacuums. Also things like cleaning the bathroom from a bit older because if chemicals. This was mostly in the school hols when we weren't at school.

We didn't have to do our own washing, but were all involved with putting worn clothes in the laundry basket, separating course, checking pockets, and then there were usually instructions left about having out the load when it finished, then put the darks in, and set the dial to whatever. We had to do our own ironing from about 15, but I had done dressmaking and used it to press seams and do on from younger. Because we had to iron our own things, I now iron almost everything. In contrast, because we had to iron our own things, my sister irons almost nothing.

My parents didn't discuss money much, but I was aware there were quite a few things we didn't have because we couldn't afford it. Nonetheless, by the time I went to uni, I could budget pretty well.

My mother always made it clear we were expected to leave home at 18, and made sure by the time we did, that we had the practical skills to run a house and garden and car. In some ways, I might have been to prepared. I discovered in towns, you call people out for the drains, rather than rodding them yourself. Good thing too, really, as I don't have a set of rods...

grey12 · 05/03/2021 14:48

Never been taught how to cook but had seen my parents doing it a lot so it just came naturally. Just asked my mum how to cook rice Grin she does it in a different way

AdventureIsWaiting · 05/03/2021 14:57

Yes. I could make basic stuff (spag bol from scratch), and bake. Only 'British' food though; I've had to learn from friends/ by myself how to cook other cuisines. We were encouraged to help make food, taste things etc., not just at home but in other extended family homes (e.g. my aunty would rope all the children in to making sandwiches, cakes etc free labour at family parties). I still remember asking my flatmate in my first year at uni what she was eating - it was a microwavable burger that you took straight out of the packet and put into the microwave, bread, meat and all. I'd never seen anything like it before Grin

Some things I have had to learn since, but I was fairly well-equipped for independence. The only 'problem' is that I'm incredibly fussy about ingredients and food, because sauces in jars and tins etc. taste metallic / chemically to me, so I'd rather have eggs on toast than a more substantial meal if it's going to come out of a packet. Likewise I'm fussy about eating out - if I'm going to spend money on someone else cooking I want it to be something either amazing, or that I can't (or can't be bothered to) make myself.

CandyLeBonBon · 05/03/2021 16:58

Yep. I was cooking family meals as a young teen, my regular jobs were dog walking, hoovering and dusting, cleaning the bathroom and washing/drying up/putting away, plus cleaning out pets and helping with the weekly shop.

I had a part time job from 15 and saved up for things I wanted and was in full time work at 17.5 and living alone in a rented flat share at 18.

I've always known how to manage money, cook, manage a household etc which is why I feel so useless now because my mental health has deteriorated, resulting in me finding all those tasks far more difficult and overwhelming than they used to. I'm going in reverse!

MagdasMadHouse · 05/03/2021 17:02

I could make toast, microwave things, make pasta, and heat nuggets and oven chips in the oven. So I could make the things my mum mostly made, but not cook from scratch. The first thing I learned was stir fry and I used to have stir fry or pasta most nights. Still do tbh! Although I can cook more complex dishes too.

Bloodybridget · 05/03/2021 17:02

I thought I could cook when I left home, and it's true I could put a few meals together, but I then lived with someone who was an excellent cook, and became aware of my shortcomings (and learned a lot).

DinosApple · 05/03/2021 17:19

I left home at 25. I could bake, absolutely (from 12/13) and cook basic food from scratch (stir-fry etc). But I was generally much older to leave home than most on here.

Only within the last 5 years though have I been truly learning about my heritage cooking (Indian) from my mum. DBro was much more of a foody and could cook properly from 15.

The trickiest thing for me was getting the quantities right. Moving from a house of 4 to a house of 2 meant we had lots of left overs!

lemorella · 05/03/2021 17:30

@AdventureIsWaiting

I'm exactly the same with sauces, would much rather make my own white or red sauce than use a jar, it's not much more laborious to do.

I'm also the same with restaurants, I will always pick something I would never normally make at home and can't stand chain restaurants where food is just microwaved.

I remember being in a pub once with an open kitchen where I saw them cook my roast by boiling it in a bag Confused was horrified.

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