Being known by your middle name- just a male thing?

[peak2021]

In researching ancestry over the last few years and reading the information found out by other family members, I've noticed several male ancestors or those known in my childhood (great uncles for example) who used their middle name as their first name. There are three recent male Prime Ministers similarly (James Callaghan, Gordon Brown and Boris Johnson).

Yet I have not come across any women in my family/ancestry, nor indeed any women in public life apart from actresses. So is the use of middle names just a family quirk, or is this more widespread that only some men use middle names?

Is it because of the tradition of naming boys after their father and using a middle name made sense to differentiate?

Queen Victoria is a prominent example. Plenty of women do, although I don’t know if it’s an event split.

Anecdotally, within my family/friends I know of women who are known by their middle name but no men who are.

No idea statistically what the split is like.

It is common and patriarchal. It happens because the same few male first names are recycled within a family, over the generations. That has a lot to do with primogeniture, inheritance and the status of the male heir.

It is not uncommon now, for similar reasons plus an idea some men seem to have that their son will be a 'mini-me'. So you get 'big Alan and little Alan', or in the US 'Alan Junior'.

My MIL was known by her middle name.

There were several generations of my family where the first born boy was given the same name... John Phillip for example. They then alternated what name they were known as. The generation without boys got a 'Phillipa' instead.
My brother is the last one so far. I don't think he will continue the tradition.

I'm the opposite, don't know (personally) of any men known by anything but their first name (or their surname in my grandads case) but I have several aunts known by their middle names. One of them being because they shared their first name with a neighbours daughter and it caused confusion, I don't know how, it was the 70s and I've never asked.

I've got 3 female friends who are known by their middle names rather than their first names. I have no idea why as it's not their mother's name.

No, it's not just a male thing.

The men I know who did this did so because they shared their first name with other males in the family and it avoided "no, the other Patrick" type conversations. The women I know who did this just didn't like their first name.

My nan is known by her middle name. She doesn't like her first name

Far fewer mothers name their daughters after themselves.

There are women who use their middle name of course, because they like it better, or it was always intended to be 'the name' but the names sounded better in that order, or the first name was to please a relative.

I don't think it would be likely to be so concentrated within a family, with the same tiny pool of recycled first names, for women.

All three of my brothers are known by their middle name.
It occasionally causes problems when booking flights etc.

Not sure, but this was a thing in my dad's family. Both my dad and my uncle have always been known by their middle names, but not my aunt.

It wasn't that either of them were named after their father either. I never really understood it tbh.

My DM has always been known by her middle name - hates her first name.
Over the years it’s caused her quite a few problems, everyone automatically assumes they should use her first name - form filling etc.

My MIL was known by her middle name.
My mum is known by a complete different name than her birth name! I didn't find out until I was about 14 and i saw her passport. I thoughtvshe must have been a spy or something!!!😂

My mum was known by her middle name, she hated her 1st name.

I have found the same in my family tree and those of others. Men going by different names, or using their names interchangeably.

DH's family is the worst - his Dad is Philip Thomas, known as Tom always because there were three other Philips in the family when he was born. Why they didn't just call him Thomas Philip is anyone's guess...

The thing you have to watch out for with women is diminutives - Ann recorded on census as Annie, Marion as May, Elizabeth as Bessie/Beth/Lizzie/Betty, Janet as Jessie, Jane as Jean, Margaret as Meg/Peg/Maggie/Peggy....

Not a male thing in my family. Dm and Mil both known by their middle names as was gm. For dm and mil it was because they hated their given first names. Gm was named after her mother.

Oh and it caused a lot of problems for FIL when he was admitted to hospital and was doped up on drugs and very confused. The nurses were talking to "Philip" and he had no clue who they were on about.

It's common in Ireland for both sexes. My mum is one of six and one sister and one brother were always known by their middle name. I can think of one cousin who's known by her middle name although I think a few others are too. Neither first nor middle names are family names for any of the above, although all of the first names are saints' names so possibly a religious thing rather than patriarchal?

I did know of one family where all the daughters were Mary X. Like Mary Theresa, Mary Catherine etc. Sounded like a convent - or Marie Antoinette and her sisters! They were all known by their middle names.

But most examples of this I have encountered are men - usually the fist name is the same as a parent or grandparent.

It usually happens when parents insist on naming their kids after themselves, and their name is old fashioned or just not nice. So the kid uses the middle name because it’s nicer and more modern. I know a guy called Gene Thomas Surname who goes by Tom because Gene is quite frankly horrible.

I am! Causes great confusion at, for instance, the Drs surgery, where my married surname+given first name is read out. I always look round in a 'hey! Who's got the same surname as me? Wonder if we're related?' moment..

Women in my family tend to be known by their middle names or a shortened version so I don't think you can make a blanket statement.