Being known by your middle name- just a male thing?

[peak2021]

In researching ancestry over the last few years and reading the information found out by other family members, I've noticed several male ancestors or those known in my childhood (great uncles for example) who used their middle name as their first name. There are three recent male Prime Ministers similarly (James Callaghan, Gordon Brown and Boris Johnson).

Yet I have not come across any women in my family/ancestry, nor indeed any women in public life apart from actresses. So is the use of middle names just a family quirk, or is this more widespread that only some men use middle names?

I am, first name was an aberration of my fathers! I always know if a phone call is super official because that is the only time my first name is used, have trained the doctors, bank etc etc

I've only ever knowingly known of 3 people who have gone by their middle names. MIL, friend from school and another friend from Uni who are all female. Friend from school and friend from Uni had the same first name, but they both hated it so used their different middle names.

I'm known by my middle name and always have been. Sadly my bank's very sophisticated computer doesn't agree and insists on calling me by a name I have never been known by. Suspect their marketing staff think that this makes them friendly. It really doesn't 😐

My Dad, my aunt and my MIL are all known by their middle name. It's fairly common.

I used to work in a bank and people going by their middle name used to cause no end of problem, as we could only pay cheques in to the name name on the account.

Nicknames where even worse. One guy got really angry at us one as he could pay in about twenty cheques made out to his nickname, it wasn't even a shortened version of his own name, imagine his name was John James smith, the cheques where made out to Sid smith

DF gave me both his names plus a rather odd and unusual one for my own. Inside the family I am known by an abbreviation of 'my' name and outside by his.

Can't say I like it and it drives DW spare.

In my parents', grandparents' and great-grandparents' generations it was quite usual - more common than not, in fact - to have a traditional family name as a first name and then a currently fashionable name as a second name. They were all called by their second name, or a diminutive of it, within the family and outside it, including by their parents. This was true of males and females, though perhaps a little more so of males.

It's what I've found through family research and also among acquaintances of my parents' age and older I've come across socially and through work over the years.

I should note that one side of my family comes from Wales, the other not, and that my acquaintances have been of various British and Irish backgrounds.

In my dads family, men all have the same name somewhere in their names, the order being chosen to what sounds best in full, and then were known as a diminutive of the family name or their other name according to who else was alive at the time. So my granddad was hisname familyname surname, but always known as fam, dad was hisname familyname surname, known as hisname, my brother is familyname hisname surname and known in the family as familyname but chose to be fam when he left home.

My dad is known by his middle nane because his first name is the family name that every firstborn son got, but his parents didn't really like it, so that was the compromise. My brother doesn't have it at all, so that's the end of that I guess.

I've known 3 women who go by their middle names. In one case, her first name was too close to a (mildly) rude word in English. Another had a really old-fashioned first name. No idea about the reasoning for the third.

I look after elderly patients male & female who often use completely different names to their first names - it can get quite confusing!

I've been known by my middle name since birth. I've no idea why my parents decided to do that, but I'm glad they did as I detest my first name.

I'm known by my middle name and have been since birth.

I'm known by my middle name. I'm adopted and returned to my birth first name (which was kept as a middle name) in early teens. It gets slightly confusing when asking if I'm on certain systems as I don't always know if I'm under Hannah or Josephine - and often medical staff don't actually read the 'preferred name' part of a form.

I have grandparents on both sides where their father had gone to register the birth and got the names the wrong way around. My paternal grandad went by the name his mum had wanted to be first, but was registered as his middle name. My maternal grandma went by her registered first name, even though it wasn’t what the mum had intended. I don’t know the reasons or if my anecdote adds anything to the discussion!

I did work with a woman who used a name that wasn’t on her birth certificate at all. Her parents had always called her this other name (and it wasn’t a diminutive or nickname or based on a middle name; she was called something like Jenny and her real name was like Margaret) and she didn’t actually know herself that it wasn’t her real name until her teacher called the register on the first day at a new school when she was 10. That’ll be confusing for someone doing ancestry research in a few decades time.

My dad was known by a name not on his birth certificate (and I've just looked it up online to check). He was baptised with a different first name after an aunt added it or some such bizarre reason - it makes no sense at all!

I've come across a few people, male and female who are known by their middle name.

I was at school with a Louise, that was her middle name but what she was known as. I was born in the 1960s when it was virtually law to give a girl 'Louise' as a middle name.

In my parents', grandparents' and great-grandparents' generations it was quite usual - more common than not, in fact - to have a traditional family name as a first name and then a currently fashionable name as a second name.

It was also common in some places to give the eldest boy his mother's maiden or first name either as a first or middle name. This is why you get men called 'Mary'.

My grandmothers were both baptised with the Latin version of their names.

My mum was baptised as an adult which is unusual for someone with an RC and C of E background, as a result her baptismal and confirmation names are nothing like the name she was known as and that was on all her documentation.

Lots of women in my family of my grandmother’s generation and back were known by their middle name. There is a family name for girls, and most of those with that name were known by their middle name - I guess if you have cousins Rose Marie, Rose Grace and auntie Rose Amelia (for example) you might start out calling them the full name then just go with the name that actually identifies them! My grandfather was also known by his middle name. My other grandfather didn’t have a middle name and his first name on his birth certificate was a shortening of another name, (like Jimmy or Bobby) so that would not have gone down well on the baby names board here!
I also know a few women of my own age who go by their middle names, in many cases I didn’t realise until graduation, or wedding, or whatever. In one case it is definitely that she doesn’t like the first name, but I don’t know about the others.

I know one male and one female who go by their middle names.

My grandma (would be mid 90s) used her middle name. She just didn't like her first name which was much more old fashioned, although now very cool and 'in' again.

Me! Middle name is an old fashioned name I love. First name is common and I've never liked it.

I've worked for 3 people who went by their middle names, 1 female and 2 male. I think they all did it as their middle names were more distinctive than their rather forgettable first names.

One also had two middle names, one of which he added as a prefix to his surname so he went from eg John (Tobias Barrett) Jones to Tobias Barrett-Jones.

My 2nd daughter is known by her middle name. My 3rd daughter is known by a name that is not on her birth certificate and 1st daughter is known by a nickname for the anglicised version of her Irish name.

I have grandparents on both sides where their father had gone to register the birth and got the names the wrong way around. My paternal grandad went by the name his mum had wanted to be first, but was registered as his middle name. My maternal grandma went by her registered first name, even though it wasn’t what the mum had intended. I don’t know the reasons or if my anecdote adds anything to the discussion!

The exact same happened to my DF. My GF went to register him and the intention was for him to share the same middle name as his DF with a different name as his first name, but his DF got it the wrong way around.

Suppose my GF was Arthur John, he and my GM had meant to call their DS William John, but he ended up as John William, so he just always used William for his whole life as his first name (or 'J. William' for official purposes).

I wonder how common it was in generations gone by for the father to go alone to register the birth? You seem to hear of it quite a bit, and also mistakes being made, whether through genuine confusion or otherwise fathers simply saying "Yes, Dear, leave it to me" and then making their own final decision which may not have been what they agreed with their wives.

We just both went together (with the baby) to register his birth - I assumed this was the norm where both parents were happily married/together and there were no other circumstances preventing this or making it difficult (hospital stay/disability/childcare needs etc.) - it's a very special occasion for you both, isn't it??

My grandad was known by his middle name because he had an uncle with the same first name.

My great aunt and a female colleague both use their middle namesbecause they don't like their first names.

No I know women who are. I have never noticed a gender split. One to ask a genealogist!