If you were frugal when you were younger...did it pay off later on in life?

[Freedfromdesire9]

Giving myself a as I'm not entirely sure why I am posting this, perhaps to give me some motivation to keep going!

Without going into too much detail myself and DP are sacrificing a lot (predominatly our freedom and going without other than necessities) we have been doing so now for over 4 years in order to build up our savings as a security blanket for the future.

We are hoping the sacrifices we are making now (late 20s/ early 30s) will provide us with a safety net and security for the future, particularly when we have children in the next few years. We are relatively close to being able to put a 15% deposit on a house with some left over for house necessities and maternity.

I know we are fortunate we have been able to do this but towards the end of the target I cant help but feel a bit fed up and wonder whether we have missed out by being too frugal and not living life enough.

I guess what I'm trying to ask, is if you were the same when you were younger, was it worth it? I can't help but look at friends with nice houses, new cars etc feeling a little green but I know this isn't healthy and in the long run it won't make me happy either constantly comparing!

Has your life changed much financially in my age bracket compared to when you got older, 40s +? Do you have any tips for the younger generation?

down, so excuse my ramble, hope it all makes sense!

Surely you are saving so you can have a nice house too?

I'm early 30s and being very stingy atm too. We want to buy somewhere before the end of the year. I already have 2 DC so you have been more sensible!

I'm 37, as is my DH.

When we got engaged when I was 28, we had a big talk about priorities, and made the decision to move to a tiny flat and save like mad (it was zone 2 in London but the upstairs of a house, no outside space, grotty kitchen/bathroom.

We stopped going out for meals much (we'd have the very odd dinner with friends), didn't go abroad, didn't buy any new clothes. I got a bike and would cycle everywhere. To be honest it was hard at times as loads of our friends were going to Ibiza, Thailand etc. We still did nice things like hen parties, and had sociable jobs, but mostly we stayed in, saved and watched TV.

We absolutely scraped together the deposit for a small house in zone 4, the kind of place that is slagged off on here, took us an hour to get into central London etc. Then we got married and had DD so still didn't go out much or spend loads! We've now left London and cashed our chips and have a lovely house in a great area and FINALLY have enough to enjoy our lives.

I'm going to be honest and say parts of it were really shit - not having as many weekends away with our mates or fun times, or being able to enjoy our wages because we were saving. But now we are really happy and if I look back I think I would take my house and DD over not having those things. We're still young enough to enjoy our lives now but we have built up a nest egg.

Being frugal really sucks at times, you just have to focus on your own goal and not look at your friends spending money on things you don't have. I don't regret the choices we made even if at times I'd have liked an expensive holiday in the summer, a flash car and to go skiiing with our mates!

You need a balance. Saving to secure your future is a good thing to do.

BUT

You really are only young once and if you don’t do the stuff now which is really difficult to do when kids come along (eg clubbing holiday in Ibiza, expensive & time-consuming hobbies, etc etc) you will probably regret it.

Yes, 100%

Getting to buy my first property made absolute sense.
Yes - it was hard work. Yes, I worked in more than one job at a time and I didn't spend much. Then when I bought, I got myself a lodger and I was still on a tight budget for many years.

I spent like wild until about 35 then had kids. You need to see the world, eat at the best restaurants and enjoy life. Very comfortably off now so no regrets.

Yes, very glad. Was frugal from late childhood, probably related to my DF being made redundant, so saved lots of birthday and Christmas money, and money from my part-time job, and was fortunate enough to be able to live at home once I found a job after university.
My outlook contributed to my decision to split up with my university boyfriend, but actually it was indicative of our personality differences (he wanted to visit lots of places around the world and go climbing, sailing etc which isn't cheap, but I'm more cautious and less into expensive hobbies!). DH had already bought a small house before we met after working for a few years, and with my savings we were able to buy a 4 bed detatched house a few years after we got married. My parents have also been generous, which would have been less likely had I been a gratuitous spender!

I don't think it's any coincidence that I met and married a man with a similar outlook to mine, although we have both relaxed a bit with money now. (I'm late 30s DH is early 40s).

No - initially I was really frugal and not on much money, constantly saving. Then I've advanced a couple of times in my career, and each time was enough for me to save in a couple of months what had taken me years before 🤦‍♀️ it wasnt worth the cold house and crap clothes.
Now I'm living well within my means, but still comfortable, earning more but living in the same space. Im not sure I've hit some sort of a wall but I'm now having the heating on all the time, eating nicer food and takeaway's, and pre covid daytime trips would feature eating in coffee shops, not dragging a backpack around 😅 it feels amazing and I feel myself 🤷‍♀️. Sorry if this hasn't answered.

@Mumof2bears that’s so sad! Do you think living in a 4 bed detached house beats seeing the world and actually living and then living in a 3 bed semi? You only live once.

I think the trick is to stay frugal when you get more money - if you just buy a bigger car and house then you never actually feel better off.

Yes. I wanted the stability of savings and owning my own home so saved and worked many hours to enable that to happen.

Once we were where we wanted to be we had children and now try to ensure they travel, have experiences etc and a far far better childhood than I had and they see the benefits of a good start and hard work which will hopefully be the path they choose to follow.

@Shufflebudge seeing the world only makes sense if you want to see it at that point in your life. If I'd spent lots of money on travel based hobbies and trips when I was in my early 20s, it's likely that in the back of my mind I'd have been concerned about spending so much when I was only earning £16k a year, regardless of my savings. Whereas if DH and I take some more exciting trips in the future, we can do so from a position of financial and domestic security (both of us work).

if being the operative word. Who knows what will happen in life. Take your opportunities whilst you’re young enough too. We’re a long time dead.

Plus nothing beats being young and carefree on an adventure. You can’t buy that

Not exactly frugal, but always careful (DH has similar approach). Mortgage paid off early, retiring later this year at 55. Somehow the small/habitual savings over the years have multiplied.
It just depends what makes you happy, for some it is living in the moment by and spending everything they earn, for some it is building security, and for most it's something in the middle.

I’m not sure I’m old enough to reflect fully but I saved like mad, lived in a grotty houseshare and worked all hours to save for my first home (an ex council flat in se London). Yes it was worth it - it provided a financial safety net that allowed me to do lots of amazing things. This was less than 10 years ago but absolutely no regrets and I’m hugely proud of myself.

I don’t think I was consciously frugal but didn’t have weekends away or takeaways etc. My husband was similar. We bought our house in our early 30s and had it paid off in 12 yrs (250k). However, I wish we’d “lived” a little more. Maybe rented in central London rather than in suburbs and taken long haul holidays rather than Europe. We still had 3 holidays a year so weren’t deprived. I think you can be careful and still enjoy yourself. It’s great not having to think about a mortgage (now mid 40s) so overall it’s been worth it.

Yes ... did two jobs when I first started working, never had expensive holidays - to be honest it wasn't such a "thing" when I was younger (had my first 'girls' holiday aged 50+ ), bought my own flat ... met DH who had his own property too so we were able to buy a 'nicer' place together ... relocated to a much cheaper area to buy a bigger home .. paid off mortgage in our mid 40s, had one child by choice (in our 40s) , relocated again to an even cheaper area, bought a nice property to live in and a small BTL as a future pension income .... no regrets, we are quite risk averse but feel comfortably off now (still can't retire until late 60s though .... but I am able to work p/t in a job that I love but doesn't pay much).

Yes @NDSandG but a perfectly manageable mortgage in your 40’s and having ‘lived’ a bit more when younger. Surely that’s preferable? I’ve seen the world and done amazing things - and now I have children I do less of these things and have more money for my mortgage. If I didn’t pay it I wouldn’t know what to do with the money right now.....

@Chimoia

I think the trick is to stay frugal when you get more money - if you just buy a bigger car and house then you never actually feel better off.

Agree with this.

When I was in my early 20s an old chap (to me at the time) gave me some really good advice and told me to pay as much as I could into the company pension. Little did I know this was a final salary pension and I worked for the company for 10 years. I did pay quite a high % into the pension and I've just sorted my pensions out, and this will give me over 25k a year if I retire at 60.

So yes, going without at an early age does mean I'm a lot more secure when it comes to retirement.

yes it is worth it
DP and me are the other end of it. DCs all grown up, our mortgage paid for, DP retired and I'm working PT. We were very frugal when younger and when DCs were young, (and no CTCs etc then, so the economics of working/paying for childcare stacked up very differently). We had lodgers and I knew a million ways to make a meal with tinned tomatoed and lentils.
But we weren't miserable and resentful, we had fun and enjoyed life!
I do sometimes feel regret, especially over not travelling, but we had Dcs fairly young so it woudn't really have been practical anyway. Another plus is that our DCs now adult are not materialistic and know how to manage on a budget.
So I think provided you can meet your genuine needs it's well worth saving your future. I've always thought that almost anything beyond our basic needs is a luxury. Look around the world to decide if your standard of living is good enough. Do you have clean water, enough to eat, clothes suitable for the climate, free healthcare and free education? Then you are among the richest in the world.

Interesting question. We saved like mad in our 20s and to be fair we are now very comfortable in our early 40s. However, I think we both regret not travelling more before mortgage and then babies came along. Fingers crossed we’ll be on exotic holidays in our 50s but with all the uncertainty in the world - Covid, climate change etc , wish we’d made the most of the carefree Noughties !

@Shufflebudge

Yes *@NDSandG* but a perfectly manageable mortgage in your 40’s and having ‘lived’ a bit more when younger. Surely that’s preferable? I’ve seen the world and done amazing things - and now I have children I do less of these things and have more money for my mortgage. If I didn’t pay it I wouldn’t know what to do with the money right now.....

Shufflebudge, my DH has been made redundant a couple of times with the most recent one happening in early 2019 just a month after we decided to use some of our savings to pay off the outstanding balance on mortgage. It meant that when he was out of work for 4-5 mths, we knew we’d have a roof over our heads no matter what happened. I think it depends on your outlook. Neither of us are from wealthy backgrounds so having no debts, substantial savings, not taking risks etc has been our way. Maybe a bit boring for some people but we’ve plenty more years ahead of us hopefully and are now in a position to take DC on the long haul holidays we didn’t take when younger. We’ve had some tough times unrelated to finances so living a slightly more exciting/interesting life wasn’t a priority. It’s totally up to the individual to decide what works for them but I’ll certainly be encouraging my DC to “live” a bit more than we’ve done but also ensure they have savings for a rainy day. I never liked having a mortgage so am really glad it’s gone. The amount wasn’t much relative to our salaries but it was debt and the only one we’ve ever had.

but we’ve plenty more years ahead of us hopefully

Again. Hopefully being the operative word. We might all die next year. And then what would the frugal years of saving have been for.

Plus interest rates are so low there’s absolutely no point in using savings to pay them off at the moment. It’s almost interest free debt

@Shufflebudge - your opinion that it is 'sad' is really very objective. I don't see security as sad. Nor do I see being frugal and getting that deposit together as the end of life.

Overwhelmingly, paying a mortgage is much cheaper than paying rent, even before you get into all the other issues with renting, so, if you can make a real push to save that deposit, you will actually then be so much better off every month once you buy a property. EVERY MONTH for the next 25 years. That didn't make me sad, even before getting to the wonderful position of having paid off my mortgage. I have also done some travelling, and now dh and I are planning to start doing a lot more or were before the pandemic. Not that everyone wants to 'travel'.

*subjective, not 'objective' - I changed what I was going to say part way through typing