If you were frugal when you were younger...did it pay off later on in life?

[Freedfromdesire9]

Giving myself a as I'm not entirely sure why I am posting this, perhaps to give me some motivation to keep going!

Without going into too much detail myself and DP are sacrificing a lot (predominatly our freedom and going without other than necessities) we have been doing so now for over 4 years in order to build up our savings as a security blanket for the future.

We are hoping the sacrifices we are making now (late 20s/ early 30s) will provide us with a safety net and security for the future, particularly when we have children in the next few years. We are relatively close to being able to put a 15% deposit on a house with some left over for house necessities and maternity.

I know we are fortunate we have been able to do this but towards the end of the target I cant help but feel a bit fed up and wonder whether we have missed out by being too frugal and not living life enough.

I guess what I'm trying to ask, is if you were the same when you were younger, was it worth it? I can't help but look at friends with nice houses, new cars etc feeling a little green but I know this isn't healthy and in the long run it won't make me happy either constantly comparing!

Has your life changed much financially in my age bracket compared to when you got older, 40s +? Do you have any tips for the younger generation?

down, so excuse my ramble, hope it all makes sense!

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I don't regret spending money on travelling or experiences etc at all, but I feel a bit sick when I think about how much I must have spent on Costa coffee etc over the last few years .

Yes I was frugal and absolutely yes it was worth it. Not frugal now. I’d guess it is easier to “loosen” spending over time than tighten.

Me and DH lived in a shitty area for 3 years, saved like mad and bought our house which we've been in for the past 8 years.

We definitely punched a bit above our weight with the house tbh, it is big and we didn't have kids at the time, it was a lean couple of years even when we moved. It's definitely gained value, by at least $100k, I'd say. It's been so worth it as it's close to great schools, parks, etc, tons of space for the kids.

We're now concentrating on retirement, paying the mortgage off and savings for the kid's education.

I have tons of friends who seem to just be spending frivolously - 2 new cars, loads of new furniture, holidays, takeaways etc etc and wonder if we're the losers! Saving all the time etc. But to be honest I don't feel too disgruntled because it's not worth going on fancy hols with young kids, if we eat takeaways I gain weight and I hate the dead money aspect of buying brand new cars!

@Shufflebudge

but we’ve plenty more years ahead of us hopefully

Again. Hopefully being the operative word. We might all die next year. And then what would the frugal years of saving have been for.

Plus interest rates are so low there’s absolutely no point in using savings to pay them off at the moment. It’s almost interest free debt

The frugal years of saving means that our DC has a house of their own in London currently worth about 700k if we were to die next year (hoping they survive). It means we can more easily help our families, support elderly parents, charities, pay uni costs etc and if we still had our £1300 mortgage, would not be able to help out as much. We’ve singlehandedly paid off a major debt without too much suffering and that lets me sleep a lot easier (I’m pretty proud of it too!).

We weren't super frugal at all, but we did save, we didn't overstretch ourselves when we bought our house and we overpaid the mortgage so that we were able to clear it 12 years early.

I'm very, very glad that we did, because I was made redundant last year (main breadwinner) and DH's income (self employed) also plummeted due to the pandemic. I am so grateful that we have paid off the mortgage and for the savings that we're currently living off. I hope to find another job soon, but it is a relief to know that we still have savings in the bank to fall back on.

Yes it did. I'm early 40s and mortgage free.

But I was selectively frugal. I've backpacked around the world, and done numerous WHV. I was frugal so I could go travelling.

But then it becomes ingrained. I would never buy a coffee at work for example, when there was a free one in the kitchen.

I always took my lunch, because it was cheaper and I couldn't be arsed lining up in a cafe when I was hungry.

We only have one car which is very unusual for where we live.

We earn well, but wouldn't say we're high earners yet we have no debt at all and a good few years worth of living expenses saved.

Similar to @NDSandG

We pay less per month in mortgage for our 4 bed detached in an excellent catchment, than we used to in rent for a 1.5 bed flat. This means we can get by on one salary. I'd never have envisaged we'd want or need to do so, but life throws curve balls - disabled children, mental health difficulties.

It's not as glam as fancy holidays but our early scraping to get on the housing ladder has bought us a huge, bouncy safety net and I am so grateful for that.

PPs are right, not everyone gets a retirement. There are a few countries I'd still love to visit. But I don't think I will lie on my deathbed wishing I'd splashed out on an iPhone, or a new car every 3 years, or 3 trips to Florida instead of just the one. Right now my autistic son needs a SAH parent, and the equity we've built up through owning our home makes that possible for us.

We saved a third of our joint take home pay. We had an utterly joyless period of about 8 years but then paid off our mortgage. Was it worth it? I’d say, on balance, no. We should have saved less and enjoyed life a bit more.

I think we have been naturally frugal and now we are comfortable with the mortgage paid off and no debt ,we are in our 50s so not young to have done this i know. Mostly the money we ve spent has gone in renovating houses. At times I wish we'd travelled more but I am also a bit surprised by people our age who also work full time who don't seem to have financial stability because of other choices -big holidays on credit, etc. Different choices for different people. I feel my children have mostly learned to be pretty frugal day to day which I hope is a good thing . I value living in a comfortable home with space around me ( just normal biggish not massive ) every day rather than a few weeks in the sun but other people feel really differently about it. Nothing wrong with that (until I have to pay more for my care later on because I have a bit of ££. But hopefully it will mean I might have more choices and peace of mind along the way)

Yes, we paid off the mortgage and bought a few buy to lets before having children so we can both work part-time and still send the kids to private school. We still did a lot in terms of travel etc. but we’ve never had expensive tastes.

It like anything - there’s got to be a balance. A lot depends on your starting point and whether you get any family support or money. We didn’t have any help from our parents so we enjoyed life a bit didn’t buy flash cars or go travelling around the world / expensive holidays. Did go on short breaks / camping etc. We both work. We are mortgage free now since early forties which is huge sense of relief and savings are growing as rent or mortgage are the biggest spend. So hard for people these days though. I would take pleasure and enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

Yes, in my case it has paid off.

I was never insanely stingy, but I did save very hard, off a low earning base starting off with no savings but also no debt as I was lucky to work my way through uni without having to pay tuition fees.

However the biggest thing that made a difference in my case was not saving but being very hard working, I gave my jobs a huge amount of my time and energy and got promoted quickly to better paid and more responsible positions.

I find it almost rather irritating now that I DH and I have a solid financial base and we can afford to take risk and speculate a bit more, of course the biggest increases in my savings (joint with DH) come from carefully chosen shares investments and the rise of property valuation, rather than the fruits of my own labour. But then, I’m a bit of a leftie at heart so I would just rather, somehow, it wasn’t this warm it seems so unfair, Since the system we live in, is what it is, I will be thankful to set my children up with capital to start with. If you start with money, you can make it increase very quickly with minimal effort. Sad, really.

Had some amazing experiences in my twenties just last night dh and I chatting to our teens about our India trip.

We were high earners in our twenties though we both went to the City and caned it so were able to save and travel and have fun at the same time we had to work crazily hard though.

I think you can be too frugal. Very sad seeing elderly clients a few years from death with hundreds of thousands sitting there. Sad.

I had no respect for money until i was in my 30s.None at all other than where it could take me : )
I spent years and years travelling from one exotic place to another-cash in hand work along the way and never giving a thought to the future.
I now have a successful business/live in Australia and have been a long term single parent (of 2 DC) for years.
Id consider myself lucky though-I saw opportunity over here and it was a case of grabbing this and being brave and talking the talk before I could walk the walk.
Id do it all again every time-but times are different now and life is harder-just do what is right for you-clearly settling down and hard graft is a good fit for you. You'll have lots of material stuff and hopefully stability too.

@Shufflebudge

Yes *@NDSandG* but a perfectly manageable mortgage in your 40’s and having ‘lived’ a bit more when younger. Surely that’s preferable? I’ve seen the world and done amazing things - and now I have children I do less of these things and have more money for my mortgage. If I didn’t pay it I wouldn’t know what to do with the money right now.....

Its preferable to you, but everyone is different.

We were frugal as teenagers/early 20s and saved up enough to buy a house at 23. We did still travel and do things but not gap years or multiple long haul trips.

This now means that in my late 20s, we have a low enough mortgage relative to our jobs (plus equity) that I can afford to be a stay at home parent most of the time and can afford to take our kids away and do lots of fun stuff with them. For me that is preferable to spending every penny in my 20s and not being able to afford kids until my late 30s. Everyone has different priorities.

When my DDs turn 18 I'll be in my mid 40s and plenty of time for travelling if I want to, with enough money behind me not to be worrying that I'm frittering away my house deposit.

I’m glad I was, but not for the expected financial reason! It’s for my own sense of pride.

For various reasons, from a young age I was certain marriage and children would pass me by. I knew I had to look after myself.

Purchased first home at 21. 100% off my own back. No holidays, no gap year, no nice cars, no parental help. I then bought and sold twice more, incrementally crawling up the property ladder and building equity.

When I was 29 I unexpectedly met my now DH. I didn’t know it at the time, but he was a high income earner, in a highly specialised field of a very broad profession.

I sold my house and threw a significant amount of funds into our marriage pot.

I am now a SAHM to school age children. I know some people look down their noses at me. Probably think I have an easy life. Well I do. But when they were travelling the world on 5 year long gap years being propped up by the Bank of Mum and Dad, I owned property. I paid all the tax, all the repairs, paid for all the furniture and all the mortgage. Everything was on my shoulders. Yes, I have a comfortable life now. But by God I once didn’t and no-one can take that away from me, ever.

I’ve always been a spend thrift and driven by experiences. DH and I married quite young and we had a wild few years: traveled the world, lived and worked overseas, overspent on everything. We spent every penny and didn’t have pensions or savings although we did purchase a small flat in what was then considered a grim area of London.

When I was pregnant with our eldest we took a huge risk with our finances and DH set up his own business. If we’d had anything to lose I don’t think we’d have done it. We had periods of real enforced frugality interspersed with crazy holidays/adventures when things were/seemed to be going well.

Once his business had stability then we risked it again by me setting up a business.

Now we’re financially independent, we’ve lived in amazing places, DC have gone to excellent schools, we’ve had so many experiences and I don’t regret those heart stopping moments where there was no money to pay for anything at all.

Yes it was worth it!

We struggled to get on the property ladder and bought a doer upper house which has been a money pit. We also had kids and I dropped to working part time in order to look after them. You can imagine how tight finances were but I felt fortunate! So although cars were crap, holidays were camping and clothes were second hand, we were happy as we had lovely family and friends and knew how to have fun on the cheap. We are very lucky now, just over 50, no mortgage, can afford some luxuries, holidays abroad, meals out. Never been one for materialism and keeping up with the Jones’s so we are modest with some things still and splash the cash in specific areas.

I wish I had been a bit more careful before we had a house and kids. We could have saved a lot more as we frittered cash on crap before we had responsibilities. I didn’t realise how expensive doing work to the house and kids would cost. Everything new - gas, windows, electrics, bathroom, kitchen, roof, extension to house kids. Money invested well though as we could easily down size in retirement and help out kids get on the property ladder

Yes - we were very careful with money and worked all hours days and nights from early twenties to early thirties. It was exhausting but we both climbed the career ladders quickly to the top so that paid off and invested wisely.

We also worked very hard at school to get top grades. So I think in our case it is more the hard work that paid off then just the saving constantly. However, we were so busy with work there was no time to go on fancy holidays or into shops much. Compared to some of our friends we did miss out on going out, holidays, weekends - we worked most weekends. However, it has definitely paid off in the long run.

Why does it need to be so extreme? Where's the balance? Agree with shuffle. Why can't you save, but still see friends, enjoy life. Go travelling but visit cities slightly cheaper? There's a middle ground here. This miserable life, the martyrdom and the being 'tight' with money (which is an extremely unattractive quality) is not necessary.

I think the other thing I'd add is that at different life stages, people feel differently.

So in my late 20s I was quite envious of people going to flash places, eating out, being carefree etc while I was having carrot and hummus wraps for lunch at my desk.

But then I can see that lots of those people were in house shares, or would now like to settle down but can't afford the big wedding. At some point in life you have to cut your cloth and as a pp says, it's better to be frugal then loosen it rather than do it the other way.

When I'm coming up to my 40s I know I'll need to put more money in my pension pot than I do at the moment as my DD goes to a nursery now so the fees are expensive.

I watched my parents who were frugal in the day to day but now have an amazing retirement together, go all over the place and have a lovely lifestyle on their savings.

I regret being so frugal in my twenties. I worked 3 jobs all through college to put myself through school and was pretty miserable while my peers took out bigger loans and had fun. Then I spent the rest of my twenties paying down the small amount of debt I still had from college... Again while my friends partied. When I finally got a good job that paid well, I realized I could have paid off all my debt and just taken out bigger loans in college in about two years of working as opposed to a decade of painful scrimping and saving at low wage jobs. I wish I'd known that, racked up debut for a while, and had more fun.

The moral is, you definitely need balance. Especially when you're young.

As @Highfalutinlootin says it's about balance.
We're cautious with money and now have a year or so left on our now tiny mortgage - less than £50 a month - which is great. We don't have a takeaway every week as we view them as a treat for holidays or birthdays and we both drive quite old second hand cars. But the cars get us from a to b very comfortably and I honestly don't care what people think about them being old. Also have very basic phones but again they work so why spend a fortune on a new iPhone? However I was really aware that my children would only be little once so we have done trips to the zoo, up to London for the museums, holidays abroad etc. because I wanted them to have those experiences, but with an eye on finances, eg take a picnic, look for half price vouchers etc. It doesn't take the joy out of the experience to do that.
I worked abroad in my twenties and got the travel bug out of my system then mainly so lucky in that respect. And now the kids are teens we can afford the more expensive things teens want as the mortgage is small.

Yes absolutely. 20s/ early 30s didn't have nights out, fancy clothes, loads of takeaways, posh cars, posh holidays, lived in a tiny house. Saved and saved for nice wedding, house, maternity leave. Now almost 40, almost mortgage free, enough money to do what we want with the kids, take one year maternity and have enough savings to make up shortfall, OK pensions, can afford foreign holidays and comfortably off. Still find it hard to splurge on things which isn't a bad thing. I'd never buy a new car.

Hmm, it depends.

We saved like mad before we had DC and had no mortgage when they were born but looking back I regret not doing more before having them. For a couple of years before we had them we had some great holidays but I regret not doing more.
You don't know what is round the corner. Enjoy life now too.
We have another 10-15 years before we can realistically start travelling to places that interest us again (with DC and then without) - we are in our 40's now and time seems to be slipping away.
It isn't just about travel - hobbies we didn't continue, theatres and art galleries- all the things we didn't do because we were working overtime or because they seemed too expensive.

Plus we ploughed everything into the mortgage when we should have balanced it out with pension too - don't put all your eggs in one basket. A few more years of mortgage won't hurt, especially at the moment with rates so low.