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Original poster

Do you have a secret slush fund?

31 replies

Sfuandtired · 27/02/2021 09:08

I recently started a small fund out of a bonus I got from work £500, it's just there to use if anything comes up, I didn't put it in the joint account DH would have seen it as an opportunity for it to be spent on something, for context £500 is half a months wages for me and less than a weeks wages for DH, but that's a whole other thread.
Anyway I reason for posting is that a friend was very surprised that I was only just doing this and hadn't already done so, stating every women has one of these funds, so I thought I'd ask on here to see if that really is the case?

OP posts:

extentioncord · 27/02/2021 09:11

I don't have any secret funds based on having a vagina, no. Why should all women do this? Isn't it the case that all low earners with no savings should do this? I have plenty rainy day money in my savings account, it isn't a secret though, that would feel really odd to me.

Toocold · 27/02/2021 09:13

Personally I think every woman or man should have a running away fund if the need arises as people do change overtime and can screw over their partners. I will never have a shared bank account and will always maintain some financial independence, I think those that trust blindly are naive but I know they will think I am not trusting, which isn’t the case, it’s just my past tells me otherwise.

Echobelly · 27/02/2021 09:15

No, but dh has no idea and doesn't much care what I've got and doesn't have access to it! I have a lot from an inheritance but most of that's going to go on a loft conversion & paying off mortgage. Will still have 5 figures in investments that are mine only.

User1511 · 27/02/2021 09:18

Mine started with a car accident pay out. I now have over 10k in there 🤣

Mucklemore · 27/02/2021 09:19

My husband and I have access to separate savings accounts.

Having access to my own savings makes me feel less vulnerable. But they are our joint money, some of it will be used on house renovations.

Gah81 · 27/02/2021 09:22

Not secret, but have always had my own bank/savings account in relationships, including my current marriage, and so does DH.

It is good to have some financial independence, for small things (buying him a gift, buying myself something extravagant) or big things (leaving him).

InterfectoremVulpes · 27/02/2021 09:22

Not a secret one, no. We both have our own accounts that our monthly spends go into so I've built up some savings there.

TBH id be pretty cross if DH kept money hidden away from me or concealed any bonus payments etc., but thats down to the way we split our finances.

UnsolicitedDickPic · 27/02/2021 09:24

Yes, I've got a separate savings account. DP knows about it in vague terms. I've also got credit cards in case I need to do a runner and set myself up in a new home with DD. I was in a position a few years ago where I needed to get away very quickly and whilst I had a place to go, I didn't have the means to get there. I'll never be in that position again.

wonkylegs · 27/02/2021 09:25

I don't have a secret slush fund but I do have access to my own separate funds. Our savings are separate mainly for tax / accounting simplification reasons but also have access to money basically to make life easier whatever it throws at us and my company is separate from our joint funds.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 27/02/2021 09:28

Yes I do. I gave up my career to be a sahm and didn't work at all or only part time for 10 years. Since I've been worming again all of my income goes into my own account and I save most of it. I now have a decent amount saved which is not exactly secret but it is all mine. I usually pay for our annual holiday out of it and buy big things for the house like furniture or repairs. I still save several hundred a month for my slush fund though.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/02/2021 09:28

I think all adults should maintain their financial independance so they they can exit if unhappy.

I’d feel something was wrong with a marriage in which there were secrets.

Not to mention I wonder how many hide money but expect the other to pay more of the expenses?

ohfourfoxache · 27/02/2021 09:30

Yes

Actually I have a few “pots” for different things. DH does all our finances (it’s just easier because every time I suggest something he goes off to do loads of research and will occasionally save 50p.....I learned very early on to just not bother wasting my time). But I do a few paid surveys, bit of matched betting, and although he knows I do it he doesn’t know how much is in the pot.

I also save in plain sight - so I get cash back at the supermarket and put it in a pot that he looks at every day. He still hasn’t noticed that it’s filling up

DimOndCadwAnadlu · 27/02/2021 09:31

No. We don't have spare money for a family savings account so there's no way I'd be able to create a secret one for me!

ohfourfoxache · 27/02/2021 09:32

I’m aware that taking £ out just to put it in a pot sounds ridiculous, but if it stays in our account he knows how much he can spend on beer....whole separate issue

AnnaSW1 · 27/02/2021 09:39

I have two other accounts. I've just never mentioned them. Probably £50k in them.

It's not that I haven't mentioned them to specifically hide it. Just that I already had those accounts before we met and we have never needed that money. We both earn well and so it not an issue.

user1471538283 · 27/02/2021 09:41

I didn't use to but after my ex spending every single penny and leaving us with nothing I vowed I would have money of my own and I do.

Everyone needs access to their own money to do as they wish.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 27/02/2021 09:51

I would if I lived in the UK. The law is different here and everything is split 50/50.

Original poster

Sfuandtired · 27/02/2021 18:28

Hmm not as many as I thought!?

OP posts:

TheDoctorDances · 27/02/2021 18:32

I’ve got enough hidden to buy DP out of the mortgage if we break up.

Hoping I never have to use it but I’d rather protect myself.

Batshittery · 27/02/2021 18:34

No, not every woman. I have my own accounts and money. They're not secrets from DH

DramaAlpaca · 27/02/2021 18:36

I do. It's probably one of the best bits of advice my mother gave me.

Original poster

Sfuandtired · 27/02/2021 18:48

I'd actually only planned on keeping the bonus separate but reading these replies I'm seriously considering adding to it regularly!

OP posts:

bevelino · 27/02/2021 18:53

@DramaAlpaca

I do. It's probably one of the best bits of advice my mother gave me.

@DramaAlpaca I do too and my mother told me to always have a separate fund. My DH knows nothing about it and never will.

dementedma · 27/02/2021 18:53

Yes. It gives you options and you can survive independently should you need to. I have two: couple of hundred in one, couple of thousand in the other, and a clear credit card.

blue25 · 27/02/2021 18:57

Yes I have my own investments & savings. Just seems sensible to me.

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