Well I just made a massive tit of myself! Any similar stories to make me feel better?

[BigTit]

I’ve taken up interval running during lockdown, albeit with very big intervals between walking and running . I live in an area where the paths are made of small blocks with a lot of them raised up and they’re a bit of a trip hazard.

Anyway I was walking briskly towards a road crossing on my way to cross. Lots of people waiting for the lights (loads of people out walking now the weathers better) and I spotted a school mum on the other side of the road, with her DH and DC. She’s a bit of an alpha mum who looks down her nose at people, not very nice. I noticed she’d put on quite a bit of weight the last time I’d seen her. I used to be very overweight and have lost 5 stone over the last year. I knew I was looking pretty fit so was feeling good and a little bit smug.

Well just before I got to the crossing I fell over spectacularly almost face planting on the ground. I’d tripped over a raised bit of the path, fell really heavily on my knees and was in agony. Luckily I was able to get straight up (wouldn’t have able to a while back!) to lots ooohhhhs. School mum asked me if was alright with a bit of a smirk on her face. I felt like a right tit and now probably won’t be running for a while ! If I hadn’t been looking at her I probably wouldn’t have tripped!

Now on sofa with ice on swollen bloody knees. Anyone else made a similar idiot of themselves to cheer me up!

I fall over that often I am no longer embarrassed.

My other habit is getting lost. A couple of years ago we had a Cub Camp. Met another leader at the Supermarket to get the supplies. For context, you can see the campsite from the supermarket, but to get to it by road is about a 5 minute drive as the entrance is the other side. I left the supermarket... And drove in the opposite direction. I found my way there about 20 minutes later.

The campsite was next to my children's school, so I can't even claim I didn't know the area.

I was about 16 and walking though a busy city in December. My Dr Martens had come undone on one foot but as I was far too cool to stop and doit back up I just left it.
As I walked along, the undone lace somehow made a loop and I got my other foot stuck in it.
I fell face first on to the pavement. In December. Surrounded by hundreds of Christmas shoppers.

Worst day ever.

I once slipped and fell over in a patch of sick in a nightclub. I'd just pulled as well...This was about 35 years ago and I still feel the shame.

I was running to get the DC from school once. Flat out as I was late, in hideous rain. My leg got caught in my palazzo trousers and I fell really badly, took all the skin off my knees, hands, forehead and shoulder and jarred my neck. I was so embarrassed, I got up and carried on running. I've never fallen before and I think I was in shock. I made it to the playground and had blood dripping off my hands. I could see the teacher calling me over to get the DC but everything started to swim and I couldn't hear properly. The teacher came over and was speaking but I couldn't hear her, my vision narrowed and I passed out. The teacher said I turned a shade of white she had never seen before and hit the deck.

I was so embarrassed. BIL (paramedic) came to drive me home and said falling that badly and then just leaping up and running again had done something to my blood pressure and my body was in shock.

Was on my first flight as cabin crew after getting through training. They like you to sit in the cockpit for either take off or landing just so you can experience what it's like.

So, I'm in the jump seat and attempt to put on the five point harness. Managed fine with the lap and crotch straps but couldn't get the shoulder straps to move. "It'll be fine" I thought, "the captain's busy, he'll not notice". We're cleared for take-off so the captain glances at me and says "you'll need to put the shoulder straps on". "I can't" I said. He tried to talk me through it but I just couldn't get them to move. I was mortified - what must be have thought about this stupid woman who couldn't even do her seatbelt up? In the end, he got out of his seat and strapped me in himself! Naturally, he did it first time with no problems.

As soon as we'd levelled off after take off, I just wanted out of the cockpit. Approach the door - and, yup, couldn't open it. Perfectly normal aircraft door, done it loads of times in training etc. Captain is a bit too busy to get up and help at this point but the co-pilot is going "just turn the handle". He wasn't nearly as patient as the captain, and by the time I got out I was nearly in tears and wanting my career as cabin crew to be over.

I think me being so upset must've been the reason that, later on that same flight, I dropped a tray of chicken tikka salad in the aisle. Most of it landed on my lovely white shirt. I don't know what the passenger who got some on his red t-shirt was complaining about, you could hardly see it ....

In my twenties I once walked into a lampost down town because I was looking at my gorgeous reflection in a shop window. Town was busy in those days as well! Tit.

Managed to get my foot caught in some over grown grass whilst walking up on the cliffs mid lockdown last year. Went down like a sack of spuds flat out on the floor. Twisted both my ankles and ended up laid there doing a mixture of laughing because of how stupid I must've looked and crying because my ankles hurt. It took me ages to pick myself back up again and gingerly try and walk it off. Fry soil path but still
Managed to graze my left thigh and leg and skinned my hands and knees. Ached like mad the next day. Sure it didn't hurt that much when I was younger!! Time before that was going swimming with my exH. Didn't see the kerb and I literally flew over it and went smack on my face. Proper gashed my knees good and proper and took a chunk out of my palms on the gravelly footpath. Ended up walking into the swimming baths with blood dripping down my legs asking for some plasters before I went in the pool

You know your old when your stop falling over and start "having a fall"

I once fell over on a crossing (the kid with red and green men, annoyingly can't remember what they are called!), caught foot in pothole and went down like a proverbial sack.
Of course, the lights changed, cue some idiot laying on his horn as I tried to get up on my badly twisted ankle and hobble off with what was left of my dignity....

Years ago, at boarding school, breakfast time. Someone passed me the metal milk jug (which held about two litres) across the table. It was slippery with condensation and everything went into slow motion as I realised I was not going to be able to retain my grip and the entire contents were deposited over an older girl at the table. Totally mortified.

@Janaih

In my twenties I once walked into a lampost down town because I was looking at my gorgeous reflection in a shop window. Town was busy in those days as well! Tit.

In my youth, a group of friends and myself were leaving a pub, friend for whatever reason decided to run through a pub car park, ran straight, face first into a sign that was directly at head level. knocked herself onto her arse in front of a massive crowd of football fans (it was either World Cup or Euros, massive crowd out)

Oh yes. I was eighteen, so it would have been about 2006, and I had a new pair of kick-flare jeans and killer stiletto boots with pointy toes. Obviously I'd look a right twat in that garb now, but at the time I thought I was the bee's knees.

I also had ID at last, so I was out with friends with the intention of getting heavily pissed.

To start off our night, obviously we did what all newly-legal teenagers do and went to Wetherspoons. The Wetherspoons in question had an entrance which opened into a large lobby, and then a wide flight of stairs that led to the bar, tables, dance floor and so on - all open plan so you could see the bar from the lobby, and the bar (the WHOLE bar) could see you.

In I strutted, feeling extremely smug, especially since lots of people were eyeing me up. Brilliant, I thought. I must look incredible!

Needless to say, I fell (thanks to my moronic boots) right down the stairs, and when I reached the bottom, my right tit popped out of my top.

Everyone cheered. I left, and made my friends go with me.

My ex dropped his phone he stood on it and went phone surfing across the car park ending a in a spectacular roll like a stunt man. DS and I couldn’t help for laughing!

At the breakfast buffet on our honeymoon I was wearing prescription sunglasses, so when i went inside I took them off. I couldn't see properly and walked smack-bang into a large closed patio door trying to go back to our outside table. I banged my nose hard and my plate also crashed against the glass. It was loud and everyone stared at me open-mouthed. I must have looked drunk or something!

First day in a new job, walk into a packed meeting room and caught the hem of my trousers in my heels, splat!

I drive to work in some horrendous icy weather, arrived safe and sound and parked in the car park.

This is the bit I have no idea what I was thinking.... I then took my flat driving shoes off, put on my work stilletos, stepped out of that car and skated like bambi, arms flailing helplessly, straight across the car park and out into the middle of the thankfully quiet road before I could stop myself and get my balance back.

It was so spectacular an elderly lady on the other side of the road, delicately picking her way down the gritted pavement, stopped to check I was ok.

I didn’t trip or fall but on a walk today I thought I saw a lady who lives on my street, gave her a big smile and wave only to get closer and realise it wasn’t her. I looked like a right dickhead!

Back when I had a dog I would walk him from my house to the beach at the end of my road. Wed had quite a bit of snow which had then frozen.

The path down the cliff was not too bad, but the steps in the final part were. I should have realised it would only get worse! Made it down the 40 odd steps and congratulated myself.

The beach was busier than usual, and after a while theres a turning which takes you up a paved hill back up the cliff, through some woods and back to my house. I started up the hill, and thought it strange that no one was on it when there were loads of people around on the beach.

I got about 15 foot up the hill before I started to slide down. Trying not to laugh, I attempted to manoeuvre myself to patches that were less icy and just slid some more. Dog realised I was struggling and helpfully ran back towards me at full speed, running round and round my ankles as I fought my way up. I ended up bent double, both for laughing and to try and (somehow?) claw my way up using my hands as well, all the while people on the beach and at the top of the hill were staring and sniggering.

The normally 3 min hill took about 20. I'd committed and wouldn't be beaten

I walked along a college corridor with a long trail of loo roll stuck to the sole of my shoe, until a kind man let me know 😳

Running with my dog, and as we got to a chip shop and bus stop, with plenty of people around of course, she saw some discarded chips on the pavement. Being the greedy sod she was she veered across my path, I ran into her and catapulted over the top. Amazingly I wasn't hurt...apart from my pride.

Friend and I was out and I waited with her till her bus came. As her bus prepared to pull away slowly I walked alongside it making faces at her and generally being a tit. Straight into a lamppost.

This was around 15 years ago and she still says it's the funniest thing she's ever seen.

In the supermarket I found myself in an empty aisle and was taken a childish urge to ‘trolley surf’ - unfortunately I only had one of the small half-depth trollies and it immediately tipped up and landed me crashing on the ground. Fortunately no-one witnessed the initial shame but a member of staff heard the crash and came running to see what was going on. I managed to pretend nothing had happened and waltz out with a smile, back to the car where I was able to scream in pain. I was covered in bruises and hobbling for weeks afterwards

Slipped over in very high heels once on a shiny wooden floor in a posh restaurant.

Heels skidded off my feet under the table of a dining couple nearby and I lay on the floor legs akimbo in my short skirt. Had to crawl over and retrieve my shoes from under the table.

I lost my floor length skirt to a tube escalator, during rush hour.

I honestly don't know what was worse, the people walking over me as I held onto the fabric for dear life, everyone stopping and watching or being escorted away with a high vis coat wrapped around my arse as they tried to free my skirt/repair the escalator....

I was browsing in a clothes shop and found myself in front of a full length mirror. Completely failing to recognise myself I dodged from side to side saying Excuse me ...

I fell flat on my face in front of the scary headmistress on an induction day before my first child had even started school. Literally looked like I was prostrating myself at her feet. Everyone saw. So humiliating!!