Rowdy wankers out in their sex pond again

[MarmedukeDuke]

...I've hit the lockdown point where I might go ask to jump in with them. They're so drunk I don't think they'll mind my unattractive tartan fleece PJs.

If I take the shittest bottle of wine I have do you think they'll let me switch music? Maybe I could just connect my phone to their shit audio system so I can then switch from classic Ibiza to something chilled for bedtime.

Or shall I just put on a neon thong, leave DH in the house and dive over the neighbors fence and ask to join their ongoing lockdown party.

Maybe drop their shit audio system into the sex pond. That'd liven things up a bit.

Maybe start blowing your rave whistle in time...

They all look about 16 so I could hop the fence and offer to tell them stories about actually going to Ibiza in the 90s (which I did) and they'd all think I was super cool.

I'm about 4 sizes larger than my fishnets and glow in the dark boob tube now though. I could squeeze them on and see if I'm still sexy.

I could tell them the story of how I vommed in the queue into Amnesia and didn't get let in.

I'm really impressed you have kept your fishnets and glow in the dark boob tube, are you sure that this is still considered an entire outfit?

I thought this was going to be a thread about spawning amphibians. Maybe in a fortnight or so.

@MrsPernicious

I'm really impressed you have kept your fishnets and glow in the dark boob tube, are you sure that this is still considered an entire outfit?

I had a belly button ring at the time, it was fine.

In all honesty though, is anyone else overjoyed to be tucked up in bed watching a film with a cup of tea?

You couldn't fucking pay me to re-do my days of doing unspecified pills in painful shoes while dancing to heavy base and spilling an alcopop down my cleavage. Being old is so much nicer.

I feel your pain as next door also have a sex pond

@Ludo19

I feel your pain as next door also have a sex pond

You should get one, they're great fun

I'm so relieved to get away from my ex-neighbours sex pond! It was so dirty and smelly as despite being so "lucky" to afford it they couldn't afford the chemicals. And the music and shouting. Utterly insufferable. Go out with your tea and tell them all about have to party. Go on about it, do not let them talk, for HOURS!

I had a belly button ring at the time, it was fine.

😂😂😂

Tell them there is a bye-law during the pandemic that they have to be in there naked.

Sex pond 🤣

Defo get out there and tell them they know nothing about anything in your boob tube
Although it's a bit cold now so don't forget ya cardy 😀

I absolutely love our sex pond! No sex in it though, just screeching kids! But only for a max of 2 hours, in the afternoon. We've never used it after dark... yet!

They all look about 16 so I could hop the fence and offer to tell them stories about actually going to Ibiza in the 90s (which I did) and they'd all think I was super cool.

Gyrate and offer them a pina colada.

😂😂 all of the above .... it is so good to see a thread that is just fun.... altho there's time yet for in depth psychoanalysing judgy brigade to tune in & tell you why you are 'obsessed' with their sex pond & your 'mis-spent irresponsible' (but sounds like fab fun) youth!

I think they'd love to hear your stories. You can combine the wild stories of your youth with the cautionary tales acquired by life experience, such as how to treat thrush, unexpected places that hair grows etc.

Our neighbours have a sex pond. And by that I mean that they have very loud sex in it. All the fucking time. I always leave our back door open a bit after cooking dinner and felt it was very inappropriate to be forced to listen to their grunting and groaning and 'that's the ticket Sandra!', alongside the Antiques Roadshow theme of a Sunday evening.

Seriously?

It’s fecking freezing.

@MarmedukeDuke

In all honesty though, is anyone else overjoyed to be tucked up in bed watching a film with a cup of tea?

You couldn't fucking pay me to re-do my days of doing unspecified pills in painful shoes while dancing to heavy base and spilling an alcopop down my cleavage. Being old is so much nicer.

You're deluded. If a hand came out of nowhere right now with a couple of mitzis and Laurent Garniers man with the red face was pumping out you would grab it

At least go and put some proper tuneage on for them, less suffer that recycled EDM guff.

Chuck a bottle of fairy liquid in? Proper foam party then...

that's the ticket Sandra!

Can you imagine that porno?

Do you mean a hot tub?