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Original poster

Do you see our children having kids?

65 replies

GinJeanie · 16/02/2021 19:34

Silly question. Obviously lots of them will. My older DS (16) has always said he'd choose to have lots of dogs rather than having children. However, he turned to me this morning and said, "I'm not depressed or anything but I don't see how anyone of our generation can contemplate bringing kids into this world given climate change". He seems fine in himself so I'm not worried - tbh, I often (secretly) wonder the same, although it sounds so extreme. I have two DBs and quite a few friends who haven't had children so it doesn't seem strange at all.
However, my DM was obsessed with us producing a clutch of grandchildren and some of my friends talk of looking forward to it one day as if there's absolutely no question it'll happen. Not sure what my point is other than do you see your children questioning reproduction in a way our parents' generation may not have done?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 16/02/2021 19:37

My son is 24 and has always wanted 3 children, and still does. My daughter is 21, thinks she will want children one day but is still undecided. Whether they do or don't makes no difference to me, and I really don't care if I'm ever a grandmother. Great if I am someday,, and great if I'm not. All I care about is if they're happy.

Cindy87 · 16/02/2021 19:40

Honestly I think we will always procreate. Our evolutionary drive to do so will always outweigh a moral drive not to. On the whole.

Willo6 · 16/02/2021 19:40

Birth rates are falling on the whole, so I wouldn't be surprised if more of generation Z and beyond stay childfree.

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Icenii · 16/02/2021 19:42

My dad thinks my DD and DN (9 and 2) will seem some really worry things with climate change and is worried about how they or their children will survive.

Cindy87 · 16/02/2021 19:43

I do think they will have less children though, and that's a trend that has been going for generations. I think there are multiple reasons for that. My nan had 11, mum had 6, oldest sister had 4, I had 2. 2 seems very common in my generation.

katienana · 16/02/2021 19:45

My youngest ds (4) wants to adopt. My 8 year old wants lots of kids. I'd love to be a grandma one day however it happens!

5zeds · 16/02/2021 19:45

I hope so. My children are just so good and have made my life.

They say “no” except for the youngest who is having ten but not looking after themConfused

Echobelly · 16/02/2021 19:46

I think people will still have kids in general - but I do want to let my kids (DD especially) know they don't have to and it's not everything. My mum really impressed upon me that parenthood was The Thing To Do, and I am very happy I had kids, but I do want to impress upon my kids it's very much their choice.

Icenii · 16/02/2021 19:48

My and my sister have had 1 each. Out of my friends of 8, only 3 have had 1 child, one adopted and 4 childless. All early forties now.

Original poster
GinJeanie · 16/02/2021 19:51

@Icenii - I think that's what I worry about too. Jeez, I know the future's always been uncertain (I spent my childhood being spooked by the threat of nuclear attack)!

OP posts:
motherstongue · 16/02/2021 19:53

DS is 22 and has told me on numerous occasions that he plans to remain child free as he doesn’t wish to bring a child into the world we live in. My 16 year old DD has expressed similar views but has acknowledged she may change her mind. Neither are unhappy, depressed individuals, they’re just socially and environmentally aware and feel their generation must do something drastic for the benefit of everyone and the planet. They don’t expect everyone to make their choices so they don’t think the human race will die out anytime soon.

MonsterMunchPaws · 16/02/2021 19:54

They’re young and idealistic at the moment but will fall into the trap eventually as most of us do. Grin

Ragwort · 16/02/2021 19:54

No idea, I can't imagine why anyone would want to have children with the way the world is now ... and I have absolutely no desire to become a grandmother.

Original poster
GinJeanie · 16/02/2021 19:55

@Echobelly - so true... My Mum was EXACTLY like this too.

OP posts:
Woodlandbelle · 16/02/2021 19:55

I think they will. Even your son (he sounds very very sensible and smart) may change his mind depending on factors like who he falls in love with and they might want them. But I think it's great that people are thinking this way.

Knittingnanny · 16/02/2021 19:59

My middle son and his wife have 2 and he always wanted to have a family. My eldest always was reticent as he enjoyed his lifestyle but he and his wife now have 3 and says he can’t imagine how he could have preferred his previous lifestyle!
My youngest is 29 , single and has always said he definitely doesn’t want children. He shows very little interest in interacting with his nephews and nieces.

Jellykat · 16/02/2021 20:00

I can't see DS1(33yrs) and his partner having children, not only because of climate change, but despite them both having well paid jobs, they just cant get onto the house buying ladder.. both have student loans to repay as well as rent, and saving for a deposit is really slow going.
DS2 is 23 and has only had one 6 month relationship, i expect he'll have the same financial limitations as his brother as time goes by.

ChocolateSantaisthebestkind · 16/02/2021 20:03

Well DS (6) doesn't want to have any children because then he couldn't have a tiger! Grin DD (3) might have sone if she's not too busy ... so I doubt it

Original poster
GinJeanie · 16/02/2021 20:04

@motherstongue - that's kind of what I was getting at really. Whether more young people will think like your DS...

@Ragwort- I've no huge desire to be a Grandparent either although I don't feel I can admit that IRL 😆. I love the bones of my kids and will be proud of them whatever path they choose. Just hope they're ok really...

OP posts:
GeorgiaGirl52 · 16/02/2021 20:06

My oldest wanted to "have one and adopt one". She had one but they were not able to adopt.
My second wanted "a boy and a girl". She had the boy but was then physically unable to have another.
My son says he wants "no more than two but just one is okay (he wants a girl!). He broke up with his long-time girlfriend because she insisted she wanted to be a SAHM with six children. He expects his wife to work so the kids can have trips and stuff and go to uni.

lljkk · 16/02/2021 20:06

None of my kids are that altruistic, sorry. They won't think about environment or climate at all in making this decision. #MumtoSelfishBastards

SplendidSuns1000 · 16/02/2021 20:27

I wanted four from the ages of about 13-20. I'm 23 now and don't want any, but that could change again! Dh is older than me and has also gone through phases of wanting/not wanting children. Your DC could change their mind at any point and you could end up with 10 grandkids!

minipie · 16/02/2021 20:32

I think more people will choose not to have children, but environmental concerns will be only a small part of the reasons. Not wishing to compromise other aspects of life will be the main one.

I also think it will snowball, once a significant chunk of people are choosing not to have children then more and more people will choose the same - we are very influenced by our peers.

Stompythedinosaur · 16/02/2021 20:35

I think it will be more common not to have dc, I think that is probably a good thing!

Milkshake7489 · 16/02/2021 20:38

I think young people are (on average) much more idealistic than adults.

I could definitely see myself saying similar to your son at 16...but I've gotten better at sticking my head in the sand since then Grin.