I'm not 'over' the man who raped me. This makes me sad as he likely doesn't give a shit.

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Sad tonight.

Can't pretend 😭

He doesn't give a shit because he's scum.
I care and I know a lot of people will come in after me and say they do too.
Sending love and strength. You're better than him. Be strong. Xxx

We’re here op. Sending you strength too - you are brave and strong.
He is lowlife.

I find it so hard. He's galloped on to success. I've not. It stings. I've tried to forgive him. That stings too: I'm a 'less than' now. I know it's rape induced. That really stings 😭

He's a very successful business man. Has had a long marriage. Three kids. Can't be THAT scummy. He just used me - for practice. Hurt my very soul. Makes me sad. I didn't deserve that. Him and his wife and sons have an excellent wife. I'm left grappling for saneness. ThTs sad really as I was a lamb to the slaughter due to childhood inequality. I'm mostly ok but tonight I'm not. I'm fucking not. He really hurt my soul. I wish he'd just say I'm sorry. I'd forgive him. For my sake, for his too, but he doesn't. I'm left holding the 'rape' baby. He's an asshole.

Op that is shit and I’m so upset on your behalf on the injustice of it all you deserve better.
You are brave, you have been through so much that’s shows how strong you are.
He can have all the success in the world - but it won’t change the fact he is a rapist and is scum.

I'm really, really upset.

Crying in the bath.

Feeling like a loser.

Except, I'm not. He is.

I wish my parents had warned me better - I was a fucking lamb to the slaughter.

I don't think any degree of healing can help me feel less shit.

I wish he'd say sorry.

Acknowledge

Have you got a child as a result of rape?

You are so far from being a loser- you are a survivor, you are brave, you are strong.
Is anyone with you op? X

The pain he's caused me.

I'm not worth it to him, yet, I'm somebody's baby. I'm not a nobody. Even if my parents didn't realise my worth either.

I'm hurt tonight but I'll be ok tomorrow.

I vent on here because you're my tribe. I can't be honest in real life. It's old new:

No. No child, Thank god.

Vent away op this can be a safe space for you tonight.

Then you can heal from this hurt but I recommend counselling

Counselling was interesting.

If you e got any good friends too, let it all out to them.

She said 'that's some time ago now' let's move on. I felt like saying, lady. I'm got fucking ptsd.

Of course I was polite and moved on.

I can't.

Very few of my friends have been raped.

Which I'm thankful for. I don't know, but I think it's a violation like no other.

It's made me feel so unworthy.

I wish my parents had safeguarded me; they didn't give a shot to tell me what to look our for in terms of ass holes,

Lazy parenting

Lifetime of consequences.

Disclaimer: I love my patents: but I bear the brunt.

@Theimpossiblegirl

He doesn't give a shit because he's scum. I care and I know a lot of people will come in after me and say they do too. Sending love and strength. You're better than him. Be strong. Xxx

Thank you

@FanOfTheCheese

We’re here op. Sending you strength too - you are brave and strong. He is lowlife.

Thank you

I’m so sorry.

Would you consider making a complaint?

Your counsellor sounds awful. There are better out there.

She was nice; just inept.
I understood that she could understand.

I'm sorry you've been through such an awful thing.

I think likely the best thing is to give up on an apology from him, it's the sort of thing where holding on to it will only hurt you. You can't make him do anything, you can only focus on yourself now.

The only real blame on anyone here is your rapist, and I don't think you need to or should forgive him, he does not deserve it and he probably doesn't even want it seeing as he showed such contempt for you.

Until you move on, your counsellor can't move on - because they have not done their flipping job! I second finding a new counsellor.

In the meantime...get some balloons. Draw his face (or whatever you like) on them. Deflate them. Pop them. Laugh at them. Stamp on them. Whatever you need to do, to feel better.

One day, you will reclaim that power in your head over him. You are strong and worthy of respect. Of being loved and being protected.

Thanks.

Isn't rape shit.

Such an emotive action.

Wish I could erase my past.

Sadly. I cant.