What are your and your partner's most incompatible traits?

[Rockettrain]

Inspired by a 'heated discussion' that I had with DH this morning.

I am a very detail-oriented person and like people to be precise and specific. DH is more laissez-faire and doesn't seem to pay attention to ANY small details. He doesn't read recipes properly. Doesn't read anything properly, really, unless it's for work (apparently). And just generally doesn't put any value on small details being accurate or important. I find the way he communicates very frustrating too, if I say something like 'what time will you be home tonight' he will often respond with something like 'oh I probably won't be back for dinner'. THAT'S NOT WHAT I ASKED! I asked for a time. You are just assuming that I'm enquiring about dinner, which I might be, but it's still not a time. "Not back for dinner" could be 8pm or 11pm.

It drives me up the wall. Yes, I'm probably too highly strung about it and it's probably annoying for him to have me always asking him to pay attention to things that he doesn't see as important (and they aren't, generally, although he does have form for cocking up with semi-important things like house insurance because he hasn't read the details properly). We are just very different in this respect - it has been like this forever and I imagine it always will be.

Does anyone else frequently feel like filing for divorce have one particular different trait to their partner? And do you feel like it's a problem or do you think that overall it makes you a better team?

[IndecentCakes]

I'm very, very organised - he never remembers anything. It is a pain in the arse.

He never gets embarrassed. I get embarrassed in a very British way if I make any kind of real or imagined faux pas. He just does not give a crap.

[DragonPoop]

Dh is like a walking radiator and I’m always freezing cold,
I like to get things done but DH will procrastinate and try and encourage me to procrastinate as well ‘ah just leave it babe, I’ll do it later’ (later never comes!)
Dh loves football and wrestling, I have zero interest in those.
Dh is a meat and two veg kind of man, whereas I prefer other more ‘exotic’ cuisines,
Dh has no interest in beach/sun holidays and would prefer a uk based holiday,
Dh likes soppy romantic films (like the notebook) and I hate them, I love true crime documentaries and he can’t stand them.

[Woodlandbelle]

We are different in many ways. He's religious and traditional. I am not as religious and I'm a more into open minded stuff that he is. At the start of our relationship he was very serious and didn't really go out.
I have had a lot more sexual partners. He is very organised.
Totally different music tastes.
Kids and a hobby in common and we do get on. He respects me but his upbringing was not the same as how I would like our dc to be raised. Too serious. Work focused. Boring.

[Inkpaperstars]

He likes lighting really bright, I hate that. In other words I am normal and he’d be happy under strip lighting!

I like having music or radio/tv on, he hates that and finds it really irritating and distracting. He’d almost never choose to have any music on and if he did it wouldn’t be any I would like.

I like to talk things through, he doesn’t.

We disagree on a lot of political and social issues, although I actually think the fundamental disagreement is much much less than it seems. He doesn’t, he thinks the disagreement is more profound...that’s something else we disagree on !

[memorielle]

The fact that he is extremely picky about anyone leaving things out, not putting things where they belong etc, but he's absolutely the worst one and goes through life creating huge messes, seemingly obliviously, and smugly picking up other people on their untidiness. Drives me fucking mental. Especially since I am the kind of person who dies with shame if someone unexpectedly arrives at my home and it's in need of a clean.

[AtLeastThreeDrinks]

His short-term memory is terrible but he has an incredible mind for remembering details/facts/stories.

I'm the opposite. I get frustrated when he forgets he was in the middle of doing something, he gets annoyed when I can't remember the details of something he's told me many times. It's mostly amusing!

[honeylulu]

Complete opposites with money. He fritters and I budget and save. It's mostly ok as we do joint account for household/kid spends and separate personal spends (both work FT). Yet I end up paying for stuff like household renovations, kids birthday and Christmas presents. He says he will contribute but when it comes to it I have money in the bank and he has blown all his. I do earn a fair bit more, which he thinks justifies it but I think he ought to contribute something. He earns 70k FFS! I get annoyed at him sad facing that I expect him to pay me back for a proportionate share because he's down to his last few quid and I've "got money just sitting there". Aaarrggh! Before anyone suggests it a "one pot" method wouldn't work - it would ALL get frittered.

I've also got poor executive functions so being organised is a struggle. He's much more "normal" but doesn't pick up much of the mental load . We have missed flights (plural) because he relies on me organising travel plans and packing etc. Most of the time adrenaline keeps me focused but I do drop the ball sometimes.

Not all bad. He does all the laundry and most of the cooking. I'm crap at cooking and the laundry doesn't feature on my radar.

We are rubbish adults aren't we?