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Original poster

Would you take up this offer to live in this house?

47 replies

DumpedByText · 10/02/2021 15:34

My parents own a house that has become empty as the person has gone into care.

I currently privately rent at £660 a month in the town my daughter goes to school in and she can walk to school. She and I have many friends in the area. Our house is basic and were OK here, but the new house could be lovely.

The other house will need gutting as it's very dated and things are in poor condition. They have offered to do it up for us to live in and we would still pay rent, not sure how much though.

I'm unsure though, the place where it is will mean my daughter getting the bus to school, it is a village with nothing there, we don't know anyone and my daughter will have no friends (unless she makes some). The village is mainly older people and I've not seen a younger age group there, DD is a teen and before Covid out and about with her friends.

Am I ungrateful or would you bite their hand off to live there? I'm thinking of all the lovely things the house could have, new kitchen, new bathroom etc, but would I be happy somewhere so quiet without friends.

So would you take up the offer, or decline explaining why?

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 10/02/2021 15:38

I think you would need to be very clear how much the rent was, etc. It does have the potential to go wrong unfortunately, though obs you know your parents. I would want a proper rental agreement, etc. I think sometimes the money isn't everything, if you are going to be more isolated. All things to think about.

Frenchfancy · 10/02/2021 15:43

I wouldn't. I would stay near friends and school.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 10/02/2021 15:43

I think if it turned out to be wildly cheaper id move, but the new situation doesnt seem ideal for you or your DD.

FinallyFluid · 10/02/2021 15:45

I wouldn't.

toomanydoghairs · 10/02/2021 15:46

Is there any reason that your parents want you to live there- other than to help you afford a bigger place? (eg. is it closer to them etc). If not, if they are willing to spend quote a lot of money renovating the house would they consider selling it on as it is and buying somewhere in the area you live that you could then rent from them? Obviously this would only work if their rationale was to help you financially, rather than just an easy way to get a reliable tenant.

SpaceRaiders · 10/02/2021 16:00

If not, if they are willing to spend quote a lot of money renovating the house would they consider selling it on as it is and buying somewhere in the area you live that you could then rent from them?

Well that’s be more expensive than simply changing a kitchen and bathroom for a start!

How many years does dc have left at school? And how long is the bus ride? I’d be tempted to look at your longer term position. Most people would give an arm for secure private tenancy, which is effectively what your parents are offering. I’d first find out if the rent will be cheaper as that would significantly sway me towards moving, it’d allow you to save whilst living in a nice house.

Standrewsschool · 10/02/2021 16:03

I think it depends on the rent. If it is a lot cheaper, then I may consider it. However,you would have to factor in the cost of the bus, more petrol to go shopping etc into the equation.

Actually, if you are settled where you are, then it would have to be virtually free to tempt me to move.

Original poster
DumpedByText · 10/02/2021 16:12

Bus for school would be free, and a 20 minute journey. She has three years left in school, my work is nearer, parents are the same distance as where I am now.

I think rent would be £400-450 a month, they are doing it to help me financially and for rental security. My landlady does nothing to this house, and puts my rent up every year although I've been here 4 years.

The house is bigger than the one I'm in and has loads of potential.

Oh I don't know what to say to them 😕

OP posts:
pawsies · 10/02/2021 16:18

What about them renting it out normally and splitting the excess with you?

So say they rent it out for £600, you'd of paid £450 then they give you the £150 difference?

Obviously the gutting would still need to happen and they would need to check mortgage if relevant etc.

Monkeypeas · 10/02/2021 16:21

No I wouldn’t. Other than a potentially reduced rent I can’t see what benefit it would be to you (even family doesn’t mean a forever secure tenancy).

The location doesn’t sound like it would offer you or your daughter much and I wouldn’t move my child away from her life and friends at this time when making new friends bus just playing / hanging out is going to be so much harder for her.
Nor would I say moving away from yours would be a good idea.

Also I presume the rent is an income for your parents or goes into savings for their retirement?
So what was the house rented out for and assuming your parents still need the house to provide a decent income (Plus they’ll want to recoup the renovation costs)!

What is the realistic reduction likely to be? Maybe £100 - £200 off? Per month that saving will be eaten up by bus travel costs for your daughter.

Stay where you are OP

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 10/02/2021 16:26

How long is the renovation likely to take? I think potentially it might be a good idea as the rent seems to £150-200 cheaper per month. It might be that the renovation will take the best part of a year, so then when you move your DD will only have 2 years of school left.

It might be worth it y'know....!

Original poster
DumpedByText · 10/02/2021 16:27

Sorry I'm drip feeding, my parents own the house outright, no mortgage.

They are both retired, mortgage free and very comfortable with a lot of savings.

I wouldn't expect to live in it for free and if I don't go there they will sell it to a property developer I imagine at less than market value due to the work needed.

OP posts:
muckypaws · 10/02/2021 16:30

I have found over many years of getting this wrong as well as right, that location is the most important thing about a house. You can improve many things about a house, but never where it actually is. You seem to be saying the location of this house is all wrong for you and I would go with that, definitely.

Whatthebloodyell · 10/02/2021 16:36

I don’t think the pros outweigh the cons in this situation. I’d stay where you are. I may sound ‘grabby’ here , but there are clearly other ways in which your parents could help you out financially, if they so wished, that would be better for you. So you don’t need to feel overly grateful or beholden to them, this arrangement would benefit them mostly as they would have a great secure tenant paying a reasonable rent every month. You don’t need to worry about feeling ungrateful for saying no thanks.

Tullyjune · 10/02/2021 16:41

I’m not sure I would. What about your DC seeing friends? Would you end up being a taxi driver?!

Snowymcsnowsony · 10/02/2021 16:41

Hand on heart would there be strings? Would they see this as their entitlement to come and go as they pleased? Have a say on any refurbishments? Expect care if /when they needed it? Have a fit of you have a man round? Let you have a dpet should you want one? If you lost your job would they allow you to still live here? Benefits would need a proper tenancy to help...

WomanInYellow · 10/02/2021 16:43

I wouldn’t with a teen who has friends close to where you live now. 20 minutes on a bus is a lifetime to a teen!

Can they rent it out to someone else and you it over when your DD finishes school/Uni?

Shame they’re not giving you the house as an early inheritance Hmm, and to avoid inheritance tax, seeing as you’re in insecure accommodation with your DD. You could sell it and buy a property where you are. That’s what I’d do in their position anyway Wink.

user1471538283 · 10/02/2021 16:47

What might happen if they decide to sell it or would you be in a position to save for a down payment?

I would be tempted to go for it. In a few years your DD might learn to drive. Also as I found despite living in the city centre I still took my DS and his friends everywhere so that might be ok for you?

katy1213 · 10/02/2021 16:48

It sounds a miserable place to live and a lot of disruption just to save a couple of hundred a month.
Maybe if they were offering it to you free - no reason why they should, of course - and it would enable you to save for a place of your own.

Theunamedcat · 10/02/2021 16:49

Are you on benefits? If you are a tenancy could be seen as contrived and you won't get the rental element

Nail down the specifics of it all how much money per month notice periods etc go into it with a contract

Would it be your inheritance? Would they give it to you early? Sell it to you cheaply? Etc

Original poster
DumpedByText · 10/02/2021 16:50

I did wonder if they'd sell it and buy a smaller property in my area. I couldn't suggest that though, plus my area is pricey.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 10/02/2021 16:51

Finances, rent and improvements to the other house need to be discussed before you can make an informed decision.

Thislittlefinger123 · 10/02/2021 16:52

I wouldn't. If you're only saving a couple of hundred pounds a month in rent it's not going to be much difference, but you'll be more remote and away from school/friends

DeloresWw · 10/02/2021 16:54

Nope. I don't see the benefit for you at all.

beachycove · 10/02/2021 16:56

Hi OP, I don't think I'd be tempted. Seems quite a lot of lifestyle inconvenience vs the financial gain.

Given your parents comfortable financial situation, could they sell the house and use the "renovation fund" to instead help you with a deposit to buy your own place in a more convenient location?