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Original poster

Would you take up this offer to live in this house?

47 replies

DumpedByText · 10/02/2021 15:34

My parents own a house that has become empty as the person has gone into care.

I currently privately rent at £660 a month in the town my daughter goes to school in and she can walk to school. She and I have many friends in the area. Our house is basic and were OK here, but the new house could be lovely.

The other house will need gutting as it's very dated and things are in poor condition. They have offered to do it up for us to live in and we would still pay rent, not sure how much though.

I'm unsure though, the place where it is will mean my daughter getting the bus to school, it is a village with nothing there, we don't know anyone and my daughter will have no friends (unless she makes some). The village is mainly older people and I've not seen a younger age group there, DD is a teen and before Covid out and about with her friends.

Am I ungrateful or would you bite their hand off to live there? I'm thinking of all the lovely things the house could have, new kitchen, new bathroom etc, but would I be happy somewhere so quiet without friends.

So would you take up the offer, or decline explaining why?

OP posts:

SpaceRaiders · 10/02/2021 16:57

Only you know your parents best and how your relationship is. If your relationship is otherwise good, I’d be jumping at the chance. Let’s face it a badly maintained private let where you could be moved on at the drop of a hat isn’t great is it?

20 minute bus ride to school is nothing really and she only has 3 years left, an occasional lift to or from friends that wouldn’t be overly inconvenient if you drive? If you’re intending on eventually buying, you’ll have a good few years of decent savings.

It might be that the renovation will take the best part of a year

Full interior refurb of a 3 bed semi, 1200 sqft, back to brick, plastering, new kitchen and bathroom takes 12 weeks tops. I work in property!

DonttouchthatLarry · 10/02/2021 16:58

I wouldn't in your situation. I love living in a small village but my friend seems to be forever driving her kids here there and everywhere which rather defeats the object of living here! She's never home.

Perfect28 · 10/02/2021 17:05

Why did your parents let the house run into a state of disrepair when they presumably had a tenant in it?

Onandoff · 10/02/2021 17:07

AlwaysLatte · 10/02/2021 17:16

If I had loads of money and a mortgage free spare house and my daughter and granddaughter was in insecure accommodation I would transfer the house to them. To either live in or sell to buy a house of their choice. I find this proposal a bit odd. They’re offering to profit from you with no security for you.
It may not be that simple. We've lent money to my adult stepchildren to buy their houses, but much as we'd like to we can't just write it all off as the income is part of our pension (as it would have otherwise been invested)

saraclara · 10/02/2021 17:17

You're in a rental with a rubbish landlady. Your rent keeps going up, and you have little security where you are.

I wouldn't be writing this offer off as quickly as some think you should.
This way you get a bigger house, you get it renovated to your taste, and you pocket a significant amount of money every month, which could be used to benefit your DD. And your parents are not going to throw you out, so you have a great deal more security.

I presume you drive? Have you mentioned this option to your DD? She might not be as averse to it as you think.

SpaceRaiders · 10/02/2021 17:23

Maybe ops parents purchased the property to bolster their retirement income @Onandoff.

In many cases it’s not quite as easy as giving a family member a property rent free. What happens when the boiler goes? Or the roof leaks? I always thing it’s better to do things properly where money and family are involved.

May09Bump · 10/02/2021 17:27

Keep current location, friends, school and independence.

TaylorSwaft · 10/02/2021 17:28

Could you suggest they do it up, rent it to someone else for three years and then you move there when your daughter finishes school? Maybe your parents want you closer as they get older? You might feel differently about a quieter area then? You could plan for it?

Chickychickydodah · 10/02/2021 17:30

I would talk to your daughter and see how she feels

Dogsarehairy · 10/02/2021 17:54

@DumpedByText

Sorry I'm drip feeding, my parents own the house outright, no mortgage.

They are both retired, mortgage free and very comfortable with a lot of savings.

I wouldn't expect to live in it for free and if I don't go there they will sell it to a property developer I imagine at less than market value due to the work needed.

How many other assets do they have?

If they need care it will be up to £100k per year per person, would the house have to be sold?

Dogsarehairy · 10/02/2021 17:56

Do you claim benefits?

Singlenotsingle · 10/02/2021 17:59

No, I think you'd be jumping into the unknown. You know you like it in your present house. It's just not worth it.

Original poster

DumpedByText · 10/02/2021 18:13

The house is liveable, it's just very dated and needs work doing.

I claim UC and work as well, so not sure how the housing element would work. Can you claim housing if you have a tenancy agreement with a house owned by your parents?

OP posts:

Snowymcsnowsony · 10/02/2021 18:20

A quick Google says this..

Would you take up this offer to live in this house?

NoWordForFluffy · 10/02/2021 19:08

Shelter says this.

Porridgeoat · 10/02/2021 19:18

Personally I’d stay in the area you love and are happy in. Tell your parents your connection to your present location is too great and you’d miss the amenities and friends on doorstep if you relocated

Sunplanetearth8 · 10/02/2021 19:23

@DumpedByText

I did wonder if they'd sell it and buy a smaller property in my area. I couldn't suggest that though, plus my area is pricey.

I was about to suggest this too. Your area may be a better investment too, it sounds like?

User45643 · 10/02/2021 20:20

I looked into it for DB who is on disability benefit and it was only if I could prove I would kick him out if he was unable to pay.

Asides from the benefits issue, moving further from an existing support network, especially now with covid, is not a good idea. I bought a flat with help from family in an area where I know no one except the family nearby. Now 5 years on the family that helped me moved to the other end of the country! I kick myself daily that I could have waited and live near friends and not in a town where the average age is 60! None of us know what is round the corner health wise and being near your friends is good.

User45643 · 10/02/2021 20:20

^And in that 5 years I got chronically ill so a whammy of shite!

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 10/02/2021 20:58

I presume this was a grandparents house?

If it was it would make more sense to give you the house as they're financially secure as they are and it future proofs it from being used to pay fir care should they need it.

Do you have siblings?

Are they wanting you in it while they get the rd ovations done? Would you have any say in what's done?

It doesn't sound like they're very attached to the house if the other options is to sell it, do you think if you said you'd rather live I. A smaller house in your area than the bigger house in the other village, especially for DD's sake, they might take the hint?

CallforHecate · 10/02/2021 21:24

What is your plan for when your daughter leaves home? Would you want to move back closer to home, be near your parents as they get older? If so then there’s an agreement to be reached here. If they have plenty of spare cash it would be a shame for them to sell the house at this point. They should get started on the works and then you can decide between you whether to rent it to you or someone else once that’s done which sounds like it will take some time given the condition of the place.

Of course if you’re planning when your daughter goes to university / moves out and gets a job to run off to Mexico with a sexy waiter then it’s all academic and they might as well sell the place and have done with it.

So what do you want in the medium to longer term?

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