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Original poster

Guys wearing vests??

73 replies

Katie922 · 08/02/2021 13:19

DH is 28 and always wears a white sleeveless vest under his top. We had a FaceTime catch up with my sister a few days ago and she commented that she could see it which made DH blush! Is there really anything wrong with guys wearing vests under their clothes? DH has always worn them so I don't think anything of it....

OP posts:
borntohula · 09/02/2021 08:52

I sometimes wear a cami top underneath because I get cold. Such a weird thing to judge someone for lol.

borntohula · 09/02/2021 08:56

Ugh I hate myself for even saying it but everyone who's on about it being a 'turn off,' what makes you think you're always a 'turn on?' Confused Why is that more important than being comfortable?

JemimaTiggywinkle · 09/02/2021 08:58

I think generally it’s babies and grandads that wear vests under their clothes... but still rude to mention it.

Original poster
Katie922 · 09/02/2021 09:00

@borntohula

I sometimes wear a cami top underneath because I get cold. Such a weird thing to judge someone for lol.
Yeah I was thinking that. I wear cami tops or vests underneath my top sometimes and wouldn’t want a T shirt getting bunched up under my top. So why should guys not want the same? Confused
OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2021 09:02

Just because I’m not completely gorgeous and a constant “turn on “ for most men it doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to find something deeply unattractive. I find crocs a turn off as well and skinny Jeans and man buns to name a few

dramadam · 09/02/2021 09:03

As long as you find him sexy that's the main thing, other women finding the vest ick - encourage the vest wearing all the more. Sister = rude to mention it, like wtf.

namesnamesnamesnames · 09/02/2021 09:05

How ridiculous, comments on here that it's for old men. It's clothing fgs. People are so judgemental.

borntohula · 09/02/2021 09:06

@Hoppinggreen

Just because I’m not completely gorgeous and a constant “turn on “ for most men it doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to find something deeply unattractive. I find crocs a turn off as well and skinny Jeans and man buns to name a few
That's fine then, as long as you wouldn't take offence to any aspect of your appearance being labelled a 'turn off.'
PegasusReturns · 09/02/2021 09:15

Ugh I hate myself for even saying it but everyone who's on about it being a 'turn off,' what makes you think you're always a 'turn on?' confused Why is that more important than being comfortable?

I think only one person described it as a turn off, although I did refer to it as giving me the ick - and was told to grow up for my troubles Grin - but I suspect your question was directed at me also so I’ll give a go at responding.

I don’t dress to be a “turn on” but I do like to dress with style and I like to find a balance between the two. Most people do, including those who eschew conventional fashion.

Clothes and how you wear them say a lot about a person and those messages tend to be important to social convention, whether your preference is for Louboutins or DMs, Chloe or Cos.

We associate all sorts of behaviours, characteristics and opinions with clothes. For me a vest is associated with a man called Timmy who works in middle management somewhere in Swindon and wears short sleeved shirts. Sorry.

PegasusReturns · 09/02/2021 09:17

How ridiculous, comments on here that it's for old men. It's clothing fgs. People are so judgemental

Indeed. You should probably avoid S&B. It might give you a turn.

borntohula · 09/02/2021 09:23

@PegasusReturns I just think it's a bit silly. Reminds me of school when guys were made fun of for wearing y fronts or whatever they're called. As adults, we should be able to look past a vest 🙄 luckily, doesn't sound as though OP has 'the ick' over it.

I wonder why it's not acceptable for men to get 'the ick' because of a partner's weight gain (common issue on here), genuinely.

Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2021 09:32

borntohula I haven’t criticised anyone’s appearance. I have just said that there are certain items of clothing and hairstyles that I personally don’t mind attractive
If somebody says they don’t find the trousers I am wearing a turn on then that’s absolutely up to them and I don’t take it personally, which you REALLY seem to be doing about vests.
I’m not generally attracted to blonde men but that’s not a criticism of them or a comment on their appearance

borntohula · 09/02/2021 09:38

No reason for me to take this personally, @Hoppinggreen, like I've said, I just think it's daft going on about 'turn offs' and 'the ick,' in relation to a vest being worn under clothes. Smile

PegasusReturns · 09/02/2021 09:55

I wonder why it's not acceptable for men to get 'the ick' because of a partner's weight gain (common issue on here), genuinely

Aside from the the fact that there is a significant - and I would have thought obvious - distinction between feeling negatively about a piece of clothing and a physical characteristic, I would arguing getting the ick/being turned off by weight gain is acceptable. What is unacceptable is how you behave as a result of your reaction.

If my DH put on 5 stone I wouldn’t fancy him. I’ve never been attracted to fat men and a large part of my attraction to him is based not just on the way he looks but the lifestyle that sustains a body that’s not fat - lots of time spent outdoors, participating in sports etc.

I don’t think my not fancying him would be unacceptable. Indeed it wouldn’t be a conscious decision that I could control. However if I decided it was ok to call him a fat bastard, tell him he was useless or shag other men that would be unacceptable.

CormoranStrike · 09/02/2021 09:59

My husband wears one after putting his back out, and the chiropractor said one of the ways to help was keep a tight layer close to his skin to keep the muscle warm.

He’s been wearing one ever since.

borntohula · 09/02/2021 10:05

@PegasusReturns

I wonder why it's not acceptable for men to get 'the ick' because of a partner's weight gain (common issue on here), genuinely

Aside from the the fact that there is a significant - and I would have thought obvious - distinction between feeling negatively about a piece of clothing and a physical characteristic, I would arguing getting the ick/being turned off by weight gain is acceptable. What is unacceptable is how you behave as a result of your reaction.

If my DH put on 5 stone I wouldn’t fancy him. I’ve never been attracted to fat men and a large part of my attraction to him is based not just on the way he looks but the lifestyle that sustains a body that’s not fat - lots of time spent outdoors, participating in sports etc.

I don’t think my not fancying him would be unacceptable. Indeed it wouldn’t be a conscious decision that I could control. However if I decided it was ok to call him a fat bastard, tell him he was useless or shag other men that would be unacceptable.

A vest can be changed, as can being fat, so not that different.

Anyway, fair enough, I'm going by threads I've read here re men not being attracted to their partners after weight gain.

alpenguin · 09/02/2021 10:09

Why can women get away with wearing bras and/or vests under tops to keep them warm but not men?

I can’t say it bothers me either way.

In summer however my partner wears a vest when it’s hot and he doesn’t have a dad bod let alone a Hollywood body so it really does nothing for him and that makes me cringe a little but it’s his choice.

AuntieMarys · 09/02/2021 10:10

I don't like seeing a vest under a shirt. Reminds me of 1950s men. Singlets with holes in.

StarlightLady · 09/02/2021 10:11

Being a woman of a certain age, l’ve seen a fair number of men get their kits off. I don’t think l’ve ever encountered a vest wearer, but neither would l think it a big deal.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 09/02/2021 11:08

FIL wears a vest under his shirts, you can see his chest hair through the shirt.

Dh equally hairy and younger so not grey like his Dad, yet, and his hair is dark, he wears t shirts underneath his work shirts to hide his hair as some people dislike body hair.

Each to their own. As for the whole my Dh won't ever gain weight etc or it can be lost, let's hope he never develops a illness or disability which means he becomes inactive. Si King (Hairy Biker) gained a lot of weight after having a brain aneurysm and was unable to exercise.

Original poster
Katie922 · 09/02/2021 13:23

Wow who knew this would be such a thorny issue! Maybe explains why my sister made the comment she did. Don't think DH is deterred though. He likes wearing vests and feels comfortable in them. And looks gorgeous at bedtime in his vest and boxers Blush

OP posts:
Lexilooo · 10/02/2021 09:13

@cherrypop86

I've never known a man to wear a vest. My husband wears Under Armour or Nike base layers though as he likes an extra layer under his work uniform.
Your husband is wearing a vest, so you know a man who wears a vest
ChancesWhatChances · 10/02/2021 09:14

Ah yes, men shouldn’t wear underwear to keep warm because it’s icky and yucky and not at all comparable to women wearing underwear Hmm

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