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Original poster

Would you read a diary if you found it?

77 replies

PandoraIadoreya · 08/02/2021 06:04

I've kept a diary for a few years now and just awake thinking that I should probably hide it now my teens are aware of it. It made me wonder whether people would read a diary if they found one? I'd like to say I wouldn't but, given the opportunity to really know how someone thinks, I'm not sure whether I would be able to resist in real life. Ditto for email /social media hacking, if I had the skills (presumably it's more complicated than just clever guessing of passwords) then I would be tempted.
Has anyone ever done this? Were there consequences? (And tips on hiding my diary too!)

OP posts:
boymum9 · 08/02/2021 09:03

No I wouldn't. I kept diaries at a teen and my mum freely told me she'd read it (when I was an adult and the diary was in storage at the house) and shared stuff with my dad, they've never used anything against me and in fact apologised to me for something that was written in there, but knowing what else was written in there I am mortified they read it.
Then my ex h trawled through my diaries he found when we were together and when he separated and multiple times has bought up uncomfortable things he read and mocked me for them. I now don't feel comfortable writing anymore or leaving ANYTHING personal laying around anywhere. I wouldn't do that to someone else

thedevilinablackdress · 08/02/2021 09:13

I've read a stranger's diary I found in a diary I rented, and it would be tempting to read any diary.
But having experienced a parent reading my diary as a child, and getting angry with me for something I was upset about...I don't think I'd ever read a loved one's diary.

Riapia · 08/02/2021 09:38

People on MN get exited at reading a shopping list they find, of course we would read it.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 08/02/2021 09:47

I read DP's one once, but I was legitimately worried about his mental health and needed to know if he was planning suicide. I saw one or two things relating to myself which weren't nice to read, but that was unimportant in the scheme of things. I told him a while later and he wasn't bothered.

I kept one as a teen for a while, until my mother pointed out that both she and my sister might read it. I lost faith in both of them that day.

Original poster
PandoraIadoreya · 08/02/2021 10:57

@Riapia I am genuinely surprised at people saying they wouldn't and wouldn't even be tempted. Maybe those people just haven't posted on here. It's an anonymous forum?! Your shopping list comment made me snort with laughter!

OP posts:
QueenOfCakeandCoffee · 08/02/2021 11:09

I burnt all my teen diaries!
I’ve started writing one this year as an adult and would be mortified if a loved one read it.

Love51 · 08/02/2021 11:22

I would.
I'm an avid reader, I read everything. If someone puts a diary in front of me, yeah I'll read it.

I started a gratitude journal yesterday, I'm wondering if DP will read it, and how he'll feel about not having made it in there. We didn't have a great day yesterday, he obviously knows that.

If I read my child's diary I wouldn't let on to them. It's the knowing that would make them feel awkward, not the reading.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 08/02/2021 11:22

Fuck yeah Grin

unmarkedbythat · 08/02/2021 11:24

No. My mum read mine and it's the one thing I will never completely forgive. It's a horrible thing to do to someone. It really, really hurt me when it was done to me, it really, really fucked with my ability to trust people, it made me feel violated and exposed and just remembering it has made me feel sick and sad. So, no. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't be so low.

Purplekitchen · 08/02/2021 12:16

No, I wouldn't.
I kept diaries between the ages of 12 and 20. My boyfriend read it and I stopped and destroyed them.
I have never forgiven him and would love to re read them now.

Anystarinthesky · 08/02/2021 12:22

My Sister keeps a diary, I know she writes all her feelings down in it.

I woudn't read it and if she died before me I would destroy it without reading it.

FenEel · 08/02/2021 12:26

I would not. DH sporadically over the last 20 years has kept a lengthy diary, I know where it is and have no desire to read it whatsoever - I know well that a diary reflects only what you are thinking at that particular moment and I don't want to see that. Also reading someone else's diary would make me cringe with embarrassment (if I knew them).
My own diary on the other hand (when I kept one as a teenager) I am perfectly well aware was read by my sisters, my mum and at least one friend :-D I took to writing little messages in there for them.

Doobigetta · 08/02/2021 12:46

No, never. It’s a terrible invasion of privacy. My mum and both my siblings were unrepentant snoopers and would happily rummage in drawers and even open sealed letters. As a result I am absolutely obsessive about privacy.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 08/02/2021 12:52

A diary someone was actively writing... No. (Unless for MH concerns. I find that understandable)

But... We found my Great Uncles prisoner of war diaries. They are fascinating. Loads of diaries have been published. At what point does something become 'history' and therefore acceptable?

TabbyM · 08/02/2021 15:18

I am very nosy so I might....

My own one has nothing too sensational!

Campions · 08/02/2021 15:21

No. DH keeps a journal. If he wants to tell me something he's written, he does. I wouldn't ever look in it, my parents read my diary when I was a teenager and that felt such a betrayal.

LApprentiSorcier · 08/02/2021 15:30

Not if it belonged to anyone I know. I would never be able to look them in the face afterwards.

I might if it belonged to a total stranger - say, if I was staying in holiday accommodation and found one someone had left behind.

Wearywithteens · 08/02/2021 15:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Chimeraforce · 08/02/2021 15:32

Yes I would read it.

Toorapid · 08/02/2021 15:35

Hmm. I absolutely wouldn't go looking for it, but if I came across it I think it would be very hard not to have a flick through, even though I know it would do far more harm than good. I wouldn't talk to anyone about it.

LizBennet · 08/02/2021 15:40

No, genuinely.

Ragwort · 08/02/2021 15:47

I hope I wouldn't ... but I can't 100% say that of course.

I have just destroyed all my old diaries, I hate the thought of someone reading them when I die ... I've also chucked out all my old love letters etc - except for ones written by DH. I have had to clear out possessions after relatives' deaths and it is heartbreaking and embarrassing at some of the things you find. So I would rather sort my stuff out myself !

GeidiPrimes · 08/02/2021 15:50

Definitely not - my mother didn't believe in privacy and would tear my bedroom apart looking for anything to berate me about. I locked my diary in a bureau because she'd angrily told me about finding and reading ones that belonged to my older siblings. She got my dad to break into it so she could read all my private stuff. There were also private letters she read too.

Twospaniels · 08/02/2021 16:03

I am currently reading my mum’s diaries. She knows I have them.
They start from about 1972 onwards.

There isn’t really anything personal in there, mostly
“bought red curtains for the lounge”
“lisa has chicken pox”
“Visited London and saw the sights”
“Started temp job at Marks and Spencer”

Just day to day stuff but it’s interesting to see when I had illnesses, or remember places we visited, etc.

MrsJBaptiste · 08/02/2021 16:17

God yeah, I'd totally read it!