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Original poster

What would your punishment be for this....

187 replies

Soubriquet · 06/02/2021 21:15

We have discovered that food the dc don’t want to eat has been shoved under the wardrobe

It was found purely by chance.

We don’t normally move the wardrobe to hoover under it because it’s so big and cumbersome. It’s been under there so long it’s gone mouldy EnvyEnvy

They are both grounded tomorrow but what else could happen?

They have been eating in their room because there isn’t real room in the living room (very small room) and we eat different times as I’m in bed early due to night shift work.

The first thing we have done is squeezed a small amount of space in so they can no longer eat unsupervised. It will be an extremely tight squeeze but a necessary evil

OP posts:
thebabessavedme · 06/02/2021 22:36

Bless their little hearts, so little and eating all alone, so anti-social, how on earth are they supposed to learn table manners, how to socialise with others etc, quite apart from having family time, company, family relationships, how to chat, share their day - no, OP is not 'doing her best', she and her dh/dp are falling very far short in a fairly low bar of parenting if such little children are eating alone in a bedroom. I am appalled.

TryingNotToPanicOverCovid · 06/02/2021 22:37

I think OP is struggling with basic parenting decisions and could do with some rules to follow or someone to aks these questions of.

oakleaffy · 06/02/2021 22:37

@Soubriquet

I can’t bloody win

A few months ago I was grim for not having them sit at the table and letting them have a tray at the sofa even when I said I’m there was no room.

Now it’s eat at the sofa with a tray Confused

Loads of people choose to eat sat on the sofa with a tray.. Even people with lots of room..No shame in it. Eating together is the key thing. :)

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TryingNotToPanicOverCovid · 06/02/2021 22:37

I think they'd have a very good argument for being back in school.

PrawnPower · 06/02/2021 22:41

When I was about 5 my dad discovered I'd been hiding sandwich crusts down the side of my bed. I remember this vividly and have no idea why I did it. Some incorrect notion that I'd get in trouble for not eating them maybe? It's not the sort of thing my parents would have made a fuss about.

When my dad found them all it took was for him to hold the evidence in front of me with the sternest look on his face. I absolutely pat my shants with fear. Then the embarrassment and shame hit. He simply said "you will never do this again". And that was all it took.

midsummabreak · 06/02/2021 22:42

Oh no that sounds a mouldy mess Op! I wouldn’t punish or get too upset, I have been guilty of hiding stuff from parents and it certainly wasn’t meant to upset them , so I hope you know your children were not aiming to make a horrible mess, they hadn’t thought ahead, and as you say, they likely were just in a hurry to play.

What did you decide as best family meal area for your situation in the end? Would you be happy if children eat together in lounge for now, if you put tea towel on laps then use bowls rather than plates to catch inevitable spills ? Love ideas of card table, couch trays or couch side table like @glutted suggests?

When I was about 10, my mum was often out for extended periods, and I loved cooking, so I used to quickly make sweet things , quickly washing up and my siblings helping with this and eating and hiding the evidence, .

One day I was busily making toffee, and I heard a car in driveway and my mum had come home sooner than I thought! Panic stations; I finished putting away stuff and quickly whipped the pot with boiling toffee off the stove, and shoved it under my bed.

Many years later when we were moving, mum found a circular burn patch on the carpet under my bed, but I was older then, and I think mum was relieved it didn’t burn the house down plus parents were breaking up, so I got away with that one.

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 06/02/2021 22:42

What the hell is wrong with you? They are 5 & 7 !! why are you punishing them, just talk to them. the poor kids are obviously scared of you. Was your own upbringing so harsh?

aliloandabanana · 06/02/2021 22:43

This is incredibly sad. You can't expect a 5 or 6 year old, or even any child really, to eat on their own in their bedroom. Surely you can see that a lap tray in the living room is better, with everyone together?

cansu · 06/02/2021 22:46

I would be more worried that your kids feel they need to hide food they don't want to eat. Put a bin in their room. Ideally, have them eat their meals downstairs other than snacks. I cannot see what you are punishing them for. They should bring down plates and put uneaten food in the bin.

cansu · 06/02/2021 22:46

I have just seen that one is 5! Why on earth are they eating upstairs?

duckduckswan · 06/02/2021 22:47

Don’t punish them. Talk to them and then trust them to act on what you have said.

MarthasGinYard · 06/02/2021 22:48

I read your ama thread about your eating disorder.

At least I think it was same poster.

Do you dislike watching your dc eat? I hope you are getting support

oakleaffy · 06/02/2021 22:49

@PrawnPower

When I was about 5 my dad discovered I'd been hiding sandwich crusts down the side of my bed. I remember this vividly and have no idea why I did it. Some incorrect notion that I'd get in trouble for not eating them maybe? It's not the sort of thing my parents would have made a fuss about.

When my dad found them all it took was for him to hold the evidence in front of me with the sternest look on his face. I absolutely pat my shants with fear. Then the embarrassment and shame hit. He simply said "you will never do this again". And that was all it took.

I once wee'd in my tin rubbish bin as I was too scared to go downstairs to the loo in the dark. {Age 5} Dad found the evidence when he emptied the bin.....And I was threatened with the bin being emptied over my head should I doi such a disgusting thing in future. No Punishment but the shame ...I remember too.
Changesareafoot · 06/02/2021 22:49

Where are they doing school work (or at least the eldest?) Alone in their room or not at all? Something tells me it’s the letter. These are the kids falling through the gaps atm! Don’t know why I keep coming back to this thread but it’s making me so bloody angry!

WouldstrokeTomHardy · 06/02/2021 22:51

I was always grounded as a child. Do they play out much?

IEat · 06/02/2021 22:51

I was 10 or so my Nan made marmite on toast I hated it and put it under the wardrobe, came back from the toilet it was gone . She never said a word. I felt so bad I never did it again. Sometimes silence is golden

Bumblebee1980a · 06/02/2021 22:52

Are there any other options others then punishment?

Bumblebee1980a · 06/02/2021 22:54

@Mylittlepony374

Instead of punishing I'd be doing some self reflection as to why my children were that scared about not eating their food that they felt they had to hide it from me.
This.

I certainly wouldn't punish a child of 5! Seriously how is that even an option.

Self reflect and then talk to them but don't whatever you do make it into a big deal. It will be enough that you found out.

Teardrop2021 · 06/02/2021 22:55

:14Quandaries

Does your husband’s girlfriend still live with you? If so, can her room be repurposed as a dining room What that sounds so messed up and confusing for the dc especially if the house is as small as you say it is. I have a 4 and 7 year old no way would I send them to their bedrooms to eat. We eat together as a family. I don't even like my 12 year old eating in his bedroom. Do you punish the dc over trival things?

cherrypop86 · 06/02/2021 23:00

They shouldn't be eating alone in their room at their age so you shouldn't punish them.

Littlepaws18 · 06/02/2021 23:00

Your poor kids. Punishment is not the priority here. You made some poor parental choices by getting them to eat alone. My children are a similar age and if I left them alone with food the dog would get it! Similarly you need to tread carefully on what you do, by being overly strict at meal times could create eating disorders in the future.

But to me what's worrying is the fact they eat alone, what do you do when they eat? Cook it and go back to bed? Eat in your room? At least be sociable my daughter sometimes eats at a different time but I sit with her.

You carry on down this ridiculous route of parenting and you will cause so much damage.

As for your eating dilemma eat in the living room and you be with them as they do. Asking them about their day and positively encouraging them to eat.

AdelaideK · 06/02/2021 23:02

Are there still 3 adults in a relationship? Surely at least one if them could sit with the children for mealtimes.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/02/2021 23:02

@Changesareafoot

Where are they doing school work (or at least the eldest?) Alone in their room or not at all? Something tells me it’s the letter. These are the kids falling through the gaps atm! Don’t know why I keep coming back to this thread but it’s making me so bloody angry!
Op clearly said the kids go into her room with her to do school work
MollyButton · 06/02/2021 23:04

I would explain to them the consequences.

Do they want squirrels (happened to us) or even rats in their room?

Changesareafoot · 06/02/2021 23:07

@SleepingStandingUp well I certainly hope she was speaking honestly but when basic care is lacking ...

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