Anyone else get treated like an idiot by complete strangers?

[GormlessFace]

I'm guessing it's my face, maybe I have a clueless look about me! I am a quiet person which I think sometimes leads people to think I'm a bit dim but so often it happens in circumstances where I haven't said a word for instance a stranger approaching me in a museum to ask if I was lost (I think I was just looking up a a Greek frieze).

It happened again today, at my weekly supermarket shop I had a voucher that wouldn't scan so asked for assistance (the scanner on that particular till didn't work, but she acted like I should've known that 🤷‍♀️). Anyway she then proceeded to explain that the other set of self service tills can also be used for scan as you shop..fair enough I thanked her for letting me know, now I know I can use them when the shop is busy. However she then explains again, the exact same thing three more times and on the third time physically walking over to the till and explaining very slowly to ignore the screen on the self service checkout and just scan the barcode whilst covering the screen with her hands . It was really busy and I was just stood there politely trying to leave and she kept explaining 😭.

I mean I'm no professor but I wouldn't consider myself particularly unintelligent, I must just look it

Anyone else?

I guess it's just me with the clueless looking face then 😅

How annoying! I'd have to unleash my inner sarcastic bitch. She's always fairly close to the surface anyway tbh.

"It's better to keep quiet and be thought an idiot, rather than to open your mouth and remove all doubt" Oscar Wilde, I believe.

@kennelmaid brilliant 😁

Try wearing a cleaners uniform! I was once told I was more intelligent than I looked. Another time I said the word periphery, the office workers all said "ooh, get you, using big words". If you're ever feeling masochistic, like being patronized, be told constant meaningless platitudes, and desire to see people at their most inflated arrogant best. Then become cleaner! You become invisible, somehow not real to them, and you see people do the most extraordinary things. The ones that get to me the most though are the ones who are completely clueless about poverty. Like "why don't you buy a yearly travel pass, the money you would save" However there are some, rare truly considerate, people and I now work for them. BTW never piss off your cleaner at work or at home. Really don't, I know revenge stories that are not fit for print

@kennelmaid

"It's better to keep quiet and be thought an idiot, rather than to open your mouth and remove all doubt" Oscar Wilde, I believe.

Does this mean you think opening my mouth would confirm their suspicions then 🤣

I once had a man say "Well done!" to me as I got out of my car after neatly parallel parking it in a fairly tight space. I had to refrain myself from telling him to fuck off.

@Sparkletastic

How annoying! I'd have to unleash my inner sarcastic bitch. She's always fairly close to the surface anyway tbh.

I wish I had an inner sarcastic bitch, maybe it's a skill I can learn

I've got a pudding face.
People just assume I'm slow

Not saying they are completely wrong but it does lower expectation.

Glad I'm not the only one at least although I do feel for you.
It's so annoying! I know I'm reasonably intelligent/I'm a capable person I just lack the confidence to assert myself. It annoys me when I leave the situation that I've let their initial assumptions stand.

I get this all the time from everyone. Friends, family, strangers. I think it’s because I am overweight and I smile at people. If I was thin and scowled a lot then maybe I would get more respect. But do I want to be that bad-tempered person?

No, but I do get asked for directions a lot. I must look like a "safe bet" of "middle aged woman carrying shopping so probably lives round here" 😂

@TheQueef

I've got a pudding face. People just assume I'm slow

Not saying they are completely wrong but it does lower expectation.

🤣 pudding face! I love your ability to laugh it off. I need to stop overthinking and just say "fuck it" to myself. Another thing to practice along with my inner sarcastic bitch .

@saracorona l have witnessed Karma for this. My friend who was working as a cleaner at my place of work and we were chatting about something, probably being loud as that was always on my appraisal, a woman from the floor above us came and asked us to get on with what we should be doing and l think l was photocopying or something and my friend was cleaning. The next day the woman from the next floor up told me the real reason l didn’t get the promotion was probably because l talk with the cleaners and shouldn’t mix Witt people below my pay grade, l asked why she was talking to me, she was HR l got a right talking to by my boss. Weeks later in September my friend rang me and told me how her new job was going as a teacher and how nice it was meeting the children’s mums, guess who was one of them. Made my day.

I know exactly what you mean but I used to use it to my advantage. I worked for a Japanese company 30years ago when there wasn't a lot of western people working in that industry.
All of the managers thought westerners were stupid "Gaijins". There were some very unsavoury tasks that we would have to take turns in doing, when it was my turn the managers would explain what needed doing as if I was a toddler (even though it was a simple task, think cleaning toilets). I would stand there a bit slacked mouthed with my head cocked. They always stopped mid sentence and went to grab a Japanese person to do it, along with a few choice words about how stupid I was. Yes I do speak Japanese and understood but they refused to believe a Gaijin could speak Japanese.

I used the word "imminently" when I worked at McDonald's and blew a customers mind. I did enjoy poshing up my accent and using long words when I worked there just to confuse the customers who worked on the assumption that working in McDonald's equals thick.

We had staff there who were doing their phd!

I definitely get this. I don't think it's how I look, but I'm dyslexic and I just cannot do anything complicated with transcribing numbers. So if I need to pay in a cheque at the bank (not so common these days, but it used to be), I'd always have to ask for help. And things like those machines in train stations where you have to tap in a string of letters and numbers to get your ticket, I hate those. So people see me struggling and often make assumptions. I've occasionally had someone ask if anyone is looking after me or if I need help getting home. I'm an academic and I have Dr on my bank card. It's sometimes funny when they notice and can't quite understand how the Dr bit goes together with the 'very slow with numbers' bit.

I get this. I think it’s because I use a wheelchair.

I get this.
I used to think it was because I looked very young for my age. You'd think that would be a good thing, but mostly you just get ID'd a lot and talked to in a patronising way.
I look my age now, but it still happened until I started wearing glasses. Other people are odd.

Yes I have had this all my life. I find it funny when people less intelligent than me need to show me how much they know...of course that might mean I'm arrogant. - Oh what the f*k. I usually say, it's alright I got it the first time.

Ha I've got a blank face plus I'm hearing impaired. I get talked to like I'm a bit dopey all the time when people don't know me. It just makes me laugh these days. I've got a professional and responsible job and a master's degree but I'm no good with having to hear information.

Brilliant story solongtooshort - what on earth is wrong with talking to people below your pay grade, especially and including cleaners?

I’m overweight and moonfaced. I had a friend explain you can buy custard at the supermarket. I’m a 44yo mother of 4 🤦‍♀️

I have had this a few times before. I used to see the same bus driver a lot on my way to work about ten years ago and one time he asked me about my job, and expressed surprise about what I did as I “didn’t look that clever.”

I’m also quiet and I think that’s part of it, as well as sexism and ageism (I always looked extremely young pre-children). I’m extremely good at my professional job, and I’m part of the way through a PhD, so I don’t think I’m as stupid as I look!