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Original poster

You are getting much more angry than usual mummy

39 replies

Ilovelove · 04/02/2021 15:44

Ahhh the words, they cut you.

But you know what I am angry!!

I was never meant to spend this much time with anyone. I feel completely trapped. I am so bored. I don't even know what would make me feel better.

I have created a school at home, with lessons and walks and fun activities, completed courses, made dolls, knitted scarves, learnt editing, created films that people have actually watched, gone on online seminars with interesting people, worked really hard, kept the house together, planned all the meals, lost weight, exercised, meditated, read books, sent letters to people to let them know they are loved....

I have tried to make the best of it...

and I am so angry, and peace-less and joyless and I am so fed up and I can't see an end to it...

Does anyone have any ideas what I can do to stop this funk?

OP posts:
FinallyFluid · 04/02/2021 15:46

Glass of wine. Grin

IdesMarchof · 04/02/2021 15:47

I think you are not alone. I am with you for one.

I have owned up and said sorry.

I have explained that it’s all strange and difficult for adults at the moment

I have made myself a promise to spend just 45 minutes 100% on myself tomorrow or Friday

Other than this I have no advice!

FinallyFluid · 04/02/2021 15:48

Seriously

Just keep telling yourself that spring is on the way.

My DH and DS(19) and I have been really good for the last ten months, only three arguments of note (and they cleared the air nicely) but we are all exuding don't fuck with me vibes and they have just appeared from nowhere.

TheMandalorian · 04/02/2021 15:48

It is shit isn't it. I have no idea the answer to your question, but you are doing so much better than me.

merrygoround88 · 04/02/2021 15:48

I would suggest some alone time. The only way I can get it is a walk in the dark in the mornings but I’ll take what I can get

FinallyFluid · 04/02/2021 15:49

@IdesMarchof

I think you are not alone. I am with you for one.

I have owned up and said sorry.

I have explained that it’s all strange and difficult for adults at the moment

I have made myself a promise to spend just 45 minutes 100% on myself tomorrow or Friday

Other than this I have no advice!

Tomorrow is Friday. Grin
Original poster
Ilovelove · 04/02/2021 15:50

Thanks everyone.

It's good to get it out. I do need more time alone. And not doing productive things! Just alone, recharging.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 04/02/2021 15:52

I have created a school at home, with lessons and walks and fun activities, completed courses, made dolls, knitted scarves, learnt editing, created films that people have actually watched, gone on online seminars with interesting people, worked really hard, kept the house together, planned all the meals, lost weight, exercised, meditated, read books, sent letters to people to let them know they are loved....

Honestly, be a bit more shit day-to-day so you have something left when you need it.

sadpapercourtesan · 04/02/2021 15:54

I agree. You need to be shitter! Not least because you're making the rest of us look bad Grin

ParkheadParadise · 04/02/2021 15:56

We've all been there.
You're definitely doing a better job than me.

I've started talking to myself out loud and swearing under my breath.
Dd has told me she'll telling her real teacher on me.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 04/02/2021 15:57

If it helps this week has been brutal. I've had it with ds2 who I promise has been an absolute terror this week. Far beyond him usually. I certainly haven't dealt with everything with calm collected manner that MN insists is de rigueur for any decent parent.....especially when he managed to get hold of the toothpaste by moving a chair to climb and reach and smear it in his bed in the space of about 4 minutes while I spoke to his df. Then promptly told me he didn't like it when I told him off (granted quite loudly).

Yep I am cross and shouty. I'm struggling . DP is away all week and winging about his nice comfortable hotel room with the pre ordered dinners sent to his room. Exdh is moaning about how terribly hard it is to come home to his mother cooking for him and being able to sit on his backside playing video games.Hmm. The DC have been frankly horrible this week.

I don't have much advice above the usual. I have a bath when they are in bed (and bloody asleep because I darent this week risk being behind a locked door for more than 3 seconds to go to the loo...god knows what I'd find afterwards) , the odd piece of chocolate. I write but that's not happening this week. Little and often and taking the pressure off. Best I can offer right now. Little and often has got ne , mostly sane , through this week. Also remembering that some weeks are bloody awful (and it's ok to admit that) and some weeks are fine. Not every week will be good.

Original poster
Ilovelove · 04/02/2021 15:58

I make a brownie promise

to be shitter from now on.

To put homeschooling into the fuck it bucket

To drink the wine and eat the crisps

And not pick up my husbands dirty pants!

Long live the revolution in my brain!!

Quite frankly, I feel better already after reading your encouragement to be shitter. It made me laugh instead of want to cry and I think its something new to try!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovelove · 04/02/2021 16:00

Its so true though, sometimes it is good, sometimes it is shit. That is life!

We are not alone and that is the best of mumsnet when we get to find that out that we are all more similar.

OP posts:
SpaceRaiders · 04/02/2021 16:09

I’m really struggling today too and it’s only Thursday! We gave up on homeschooling at 11.30, dc2 teacher has the virus so no live lessons here and I simply can’t help both dc at the same time. We’ve been watching movies instead.

I can’t bear the relentlessness of everything. I turn into hulk when I don’t get any alone time. So then I stay up late once dc are in bed, by the time I go to bed it’s around 1am. I’m then tired the following day which doesn’t help in any way!

IM0GEN · 04/02/2021 16:09

Another person saying please stop being so good at this because you are making me feel bad.

Leave all the housework to your lazy husband. Think of it as you training him.

My top tips are to move all the dirty dishes around the house to one area of the kitchen worktop and just leave them until someone else over the age of 8 notices that there are no clean dishes. I find this less stressful than having every surface messy.

It looks worse if you pile them up badly too, don’t sort them all, scrape the plates etc.

Ditto the laundry into the basket. You will be surprised how long you can go for without doing any washing.

This advice is of course based on the assumption that your husband is not working 70 hours a week as an ICU nurse.

IM0GEN · 04/02/2021 16:13

Another top tip is to buy some decent waterproof trousers/ jacket and footwear and get out the house, even if the weather is shit. They need to be good - not just a cheap raincoat that will let in water on the seams and make you soggy and cold.

The great thing about the rain / sleet is that no one else will want to come. I make a show of asking my husband and kids if they want to join me, safe in the knowledge that they will say no. So it will just be me and a podcast.

Original poster
Ilovelove · 04/02/2021 16:18

I love all the suggestions. They are making laugh out loud!

OP posts:
Nonamesavail · 04/02/2021 16:20

Yep. I'm just horrible right now

Original poster
Ilovelove · 04/02/2021 16:35

All rag-ers, fed-u-pers and can't be bothered-ers are welcome here!!

What you all picked up on - which is amazing because it is always what I need more than anything, is giving me a reminder to relax.

Husband isn't an ICU nurse so I have left his left over Ben and Jerry's carton by his bed - he doesn't have any trouble relaxing!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovelove · 04/02/2021 16:36

I put my -ers in the wrong place in those words.

OP posts:
speaksofty · 04/02/2021 16:50

Do you think you are doing just way too much for everyone else op? No time for self care and time on your own will have a big impact, especially in the longer term.

I have started having time out, and it has worked wonders for my patience. I feel like an empty jug that is trying to fill everyone else's glasses, and everyone is parched and I have nothing else to give now. I feel like this most of the time.

Start putting the same amount of energy into yourself and see if you feel better. Calm but not productive is better than the alternative, well that was my decision in the end. Happy and unproductive is where we are at now

User0ne · 04/02/2021 16:56

Time on your own!

Deathraystare · 04/02/2021 16:57

I feel so sorry for all you mums. I think it is hardest on you. You must all be exhausted/pissed off big time etc etc. Christ, I only have myself to deal with and that's enough!

FluffyMcWuffy · 04/02/2021 16:58

i feel exactly the same. Absolutely shattered from all this home schooling business and looking after a 2 year old as well. Just fed up with the boredom of it, the constant bloody cajoling to get my 5 year old to do his writing work then all the cooking and tidying up. Desperately need some time alone without all the noise. Fav part of the day is once they are both in bed and I can sit in front of tv with DH just vegetating and scoffing chocolate. Unfortunately going to bed far too late as I do not want the quiet time to end and repeat everything the next day as though its groundhog day. Feel ungrateful for these thoughts when I know some people are fighting for the lives with covid or mourning the loss of a loved one. I think the key is to get some decent sleep, get fresh air everyday whatever the weather and get pockets of time during the day that you can get absorbed in something for 20 mins or so just to break up the monotony of it all. That and counting blessings has to be the key to a more positive mindset. Just difficult doing it!

Newnamefor2021 · 04/02/2021 17:16

Drop trying to do everything and be perfect. It's ok to just forget it all some days.

You know what? Days I'm shitter and doing everything people learn what I do. My children can now make their own lunch (became I have 4 and I'm constantly with one child so they can eat when they want or not eat 😆), my children have learnt to start getting on with work and to check in when they don't understand or need help.

I'm learning it's ok to ask my husband to pick up the slack when he's around.

It's sounds like you have used your time so constructively and that's wonderful, but you don't need to do that every second of the time, plan good healthy things but also plan nothing, eat that biscuit or just watch that rubbish on tv.