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Original poster

Is it true? "every person has their own battles/struggles"

63 replies

Zubes · 03/02/2021 22:06

Exactly what the title says really.
I keep seeing quotes that say "Every person has their battles... be nice" etc.
Is this really the case? I certainly have my own battles, but this implies every human being experiences it too.
For example, I follow this actor (who I actually fancy the pants off haha). He is so chilled, kind hearted and carefree. Literally a perfect human being. Always being complemented on his looks, could get any women he wanted. I'd like to assume he has no "battles" of his own as his life seems so perfect and what struggles would he have?
I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense - hard to word it!
What do you think?

OP posts:
Kendodd · 03/02/2021 22:13

I heard somebody say once that if everyone had all their troubles in a bag and you could go into a big room with lots of other people, all put your bags down and take a different bag, everybody would just grab their own bag and run away. You never know what troubles somebody else has in their bag.

Original poster
Zubes · 03/02/2021 22:15

That's such a good point. You wouldn't know what you'd end up with... could be better, could be much worst! Hmm

OP posts:
amymel2016 · 03/02/2021 22:16

I’m a firm believer everyone has troubles of some form. For example, that actor may be worrying about losing his looks, getting likes and follows on Instagram, what work is coming next etc etc Everyone has different worries and anxieties but I think it’s part of being human.

Macronisanarse · 03/02/2021 22:17

That's just daft though, they're just pictures on a carefully cultivated site?

LindaEllen · 03/02/2021 22:19

Everyone has struggles. What everyone perceives as a struggle is different though. What I have sleepless nights about other people wouldn't bat an eyelid at, and vice versa.

Also some people are great at hiding that they're struggling.

Oblomov21 · 03/02/2021 22:21

Everyone has struggles. Everyone.

Skylucy · 03/02/2021 22:22

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I suffered a dreadful bereavement last year and genuinely feel that my soul has shattered. I'm so broken. And yet, I'm up early, washed, dressed, made up, bright and breezy, looking after my young children, my mum, my husband, the dog, running errands for the elderly, chatting away to everyone, posting on the 'Gram. I weep at night.

Just because someone carries their baggage well, it doesn't mean it isn't heavy.

NewCatMummy · 03/02/2021 22:22

They do but it’s massively variable what those struggles are ie some people will be struggling with food/housing/heating others will struggle with nanny issues/ the pool guy didn’t turn up/I’m not getting however many insta likes- they all think it’s important, clearly kids not being fed/clothed/warm is more important but those with the means struggle with their own lesser issues!

halfhope · 03/02/2021 22:22

Yes, everyone has their own struggles and disappointments. It's what it is to be human. By comparison to some problems that others have, I'd choose mine every time. Not that they aren't difficult but I've managed to cope with them.

Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2021 22:23

I am curious as to who the actor is now. But they probably have battles they aren't sharing. Are all their relatives healthy? Are they worried about work drying up? They could be a functioning alcoholic or drug user. Anything really.

I used to fancy the pants off a certain member of a band in the 80s. He had it all or so it seemed. Turns out huge drink/drug/relationship issues that we found out decades later.

VirtualLearning · 03/02/2021 22:23

I don’t think everyone Necessarily has troubles but most people probably do. For much of my early life I felt had none at all.

Gcnq · 03/02/2021 22:25

I suppose it's like, the very handsome actor you admire so much might find it an incredible stress and responsibility to be so fawned over and demanded all the time. How hard. He might prefer the quiet life.

I'm also not sure about the bag analogy, because quite honestly some bags in the room will be huge and heavy and visibly much larger than others.
I'd just swap my (incredibly huge) bag for a much smaller and lighter one anyday.

Yes ALL people have problems. Some have way more than their fair share.

I may be overegging the pudding now, but the saying also implies that all these gorgeous wealthy actors who have got so far in life, they ALL actually have some dark secret. They all actually suffered gravely and had to overcome huge battles etc.
Bollocks! Some people are just lucky and blessed.

Sunnydays999 · 03/02/2021 22:25

We all have problems . Work relationships health kids - there is always something

Goostacean · 03/02/2021 22:25

This is very interesting. Everyone has struggles, but I think that some people’s are objectively harder/worse than others’, and that people with similar struggles may cope with them to a greater or lesser extent depending on their own life experiences up until that point and their personality.

halfhope · 03/02/2021 22:25

💐 skylucy sorry for your troubles.

Original poster
Zubes · 03/02/2021 22:27

I'm almost embarrassed to write his name on here 😂 Imagine if he, or someone he knows read this! (highly unlikely I know)
Alexander Dreymon. Fantastic actor & person. He's not very active on social media, keeps his private life private. Always doing charity work, helping others. And not to mention, he is so bloody hot!!!

OP posts:
Muddywellies10 · 03/02/2021 22:28

A few years ago I changed jobs and went from being at a similar level to lots of colleagues to management. I was absolutely amazed at the range of problems that I suddenly became aware of that people were dealing with. These were people who I had known a long time and was in some cases quite close to, but I had no idea about some of the battles and issues they were facing. It is definitely true that virtually everyone has something going on in their lives that is a worry. It is simply not possible to go through life without facing tragedies and challenges.

NewCatMummy · 03/02/2021 22:28

I say that and someone I use to envy a local family (doctor, partner was a head of dept in a private school) had one child who had anorexia as a teenager, struggled hugely as a teen/young adult, now transitioning as a 20s adult; second child joined the military and is mostly absent; the partner died young from a stroke due to stress. I used to think they were a perfect, affluent family but there was a lot of unhappiness behind the financial comfort.

Waterlilllies · 03/02/2021 22:29

A mother who can't afford medicine for her child in a country without the NHS has a different sort of troubles to my sort of troubles when I'm feeling a bit down or frustrated.

We all have our troubles but I don't think it's true that they're all essentially the same level of troubles.

MsAwesomeDragon · 03/02/2021 22:30

Everyone has struggles, and at each moment the struggles might be big or small. But over your lifetime there will be some really big struggles (illness, bereavement, etc), some middling struggles (stress, lesser illnesses, relationship breakups, etc) and some small struggles (minor worries, etc).

Personally, right now I'm in a period where my struggles are quite small, but overall my life is trundling along quite happily. My biggest struggles in my life so far was about 8/9 years ago when I had several life changes and bereavements all at once. Since then I've had a few middling struggles, but nothing on that scale.

MiddleClassMother · 03/02/2021 22:31

Everyone has issues, wether they show it or not, mine is anxiety and panic attacks, but as I don't share that side of me no one would ever know. I sometimes look at my own social media and think how different my life looks to reality (clean house, perfect meals. laughing and smiling in the park etc)

tunnocksreturns2019 · 03/02/2021 22:31

@Goostacean

This is very interesting. Everyone has struggles, but I think that some people’s are objectively harder/worse than others’, and that people with similar struggles may cope with them to a greater or lesser extent depending on their own life experiences up until that point and their personality.
Couldn’t agree more.

As a young widowed parent in a pandemic I’m feeling pretty troubled (pass the gin) but my kids are safe and fed. I know there are young widowed parents elsewhere in the country/world whose families aren’t so fortunate and it breaks my heart.

Also I understandably don’t want to hear the struggles of couples who are having to spend too much time together at the moment, but had cancer not pitched up, perhaps that would’ve been my ‘struggle’ instead of the very opposite one I have.

Original poster
Zubes · 03/02/2021 22:32

Very interesting! Thank you for the replies. You guys definitely worded it much better than I did.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 03/02/2021 22:33

Everyone has troubles. And the reality is that however awful our own troubles area we'd almost never want to exchange them for other people's (that bag analogy).

What @Skylucy says resonates with me (& I'm so sorry for your loss Lucy)

When I was in the throes of an abusive relationship, literally not sleeping & in utter horror at my life, I was able to get up, take care of 3 tiny children, work full-time & generally cope. (Until I couldn't any more & nearly had a nervous breakdown).

I got through it. But the legacy of it is still there, still many worries.

I've realised even those close to me haven't really a clue.

Even if other people's troubles are objectively easier or harder, they are their personal difficulties, and it's almost irrelevant what's going on for others.

But for sure, everyone has troubles.

MargaretThursday · 03/02/2021 22:34

I think so, although not necessarily all the time.

I suspect people think of me like that. I'm fairly laid back on the outside, tend to take life as it comes, if things go wrong I normally can shrug and keep going. I don't do big dramas and can often look on the bright side.
Dm once said I would tell a story of a fun adventure and dsis (natural pessimist) would tell the same one as a disaster.

Currently I'm debating whether to contact my GP and signed off for stress. I think I probably should, but I'm putting off actually doing it. I think if I do it will be a shock to a lot of people.