What age did you allow your child to have their phone in their room in the night?

[GiveMyRegardsToYourLizard]

Please note that I'm asking when 'did' you.
Not when 'will you'.

Because until I had a teenager I very haughtily thought there's no way until DS was at least 16.

But now I'm actually at the teenage tantrum point, it's proving way more a bone of contention then I ever imagined and I need to 'pick my battles'🤯

Is just turned 14.
There's been a few threads about him recently (I'm a notorious name changer, but the theme is the same).

What is this app people speak of?

Family link app here too. You can set when it goes off and monitor hours. They have to ask for more screen time if they go over, I almost always give it to them, especially just now but it helps them realise how long them gave been on it. DC's 15 and 13, phones out of room overnight, no arguments, they know it's healthier. Both have radios so still got some 'media'.

It's kept in her room but parent controls have it go off at 9. No social media here yet though.

What stops the teen from just un-installing these apps?

I'm asking because my teens would never have allowed themselves to be controlled in this kind of way, perhaps I'm too soft...

My son was never allowed his phone in his room until he was about 16. This rule had always been in place, so he accepted it. I think it helped as I never have mine in my bedroom either. Phones always stay downstairs.

When they've finished their GCSE's. Had same rule for all of them, (ages now 21,19,18,16,14 and 8 obviously 8 year old hasn't got a phone yet! )They come off electronic devices an hour or so before bed time until 16 then they have to regulate themselves and they do.

I managed to get mine to keep phones downstairs until after GCSEs. It was a struggle and it caused aggro some evenings .. not helped by DH saying why bother and have this grief 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I know that mine would not have achieved the results they got if they’d been on their phones half the night. I gave up after GCSEs and A level results were ‘interesting’.

15 and a half, as we were in lockdown for around 6months and so we caved so he could stay in touch with his friends and he didn't have to get up as early for school etc.

@horseymum

Family link app here too. You can set when it goes off and monitor hours. They have to ask for more screen time if they go over, I almost always give it to them, especially just now but it helps them realise how long them gave been on it. DC's 15 and 13, phones out of room overnight, no arguments, they know it's healthier. Both have radios so still got some 'media'.

Is that what it's called?

Family Link App?

I looked in App Store and there were several screen time apps.

Never took them off them but they didn't get smart phones until 14 ish due to them being less common (aka more expensive) then.

My 14 yo keeps hers now but she only really uses it to watch netflix and tiktok, she isn't watching anything inappropriate. communicating with others late at night or googling things she shouldn't. The 10 yo has hers charged downstairs overnight. Imo the time is right when you can trust them to use it appropriately.

@TottiePlantagenet

What stops the teen from just un-installing these apps?

I'm asking because my teens would never have allowed themselves to be controlled in this kind of way, perhaps I'm too soft...

She knows if she uninstalled it that it would show up on my phone when I looked at her screen time (which I do regularly) and that something much worse would replace it!

@Fastedbrownie

We always let them, but there are timed screen locks. I don't know what age we will take them off. My oldest son turns 16 today and his phone has no lock, but he lived overseas by himself for a few years and is more mature than most, and I can trust he will get the sleep he needs. I suspect dd14 will have a lock for a couple for a couple more years yet.

Do you mean at boarding school?

DD is 14, no phones/ iPads in her bedroom after 8 pm.
They are put on charge in the kitchen.
If she were to break this rule she would lose them.

Anyone want to share what app they use?

I've asked so many times.

Please help.

I didn't have my phone over night in my room until I finished my GCSEs. Everyone's phones were kept downstairs and my mum would wake us up with a cup of tea in the morning!! I miss being 16 and living at home! 😂

16 on school nights. The 17 year old is allowed his all the time now as he has to make his own decisions. The 14 year old is allowed his phone overnight only on weekends and holidays.

People have already named Family Link and Qustodia.
Do you have Netflix? If you do, watch The Social Dilemma as a family. Don’t cave, consistency is key as they can smell weakness from miles away.

Mine have iphones with screen time limits on them and so even if the phones get sneaked back into the rooms, they are locked after 9.30 other than kindle app, school emails and things like word and excel. Mine are 13 and 15.

We had a box on the stairs that the phones went into when our teens went to bed, this lasted until ds was 16 . He would stay on his phone all night but we had to give him some responsibility and control over his sleeping. Dd was 14/15 as we knew she wasn’t on her phone, she needs her sleep and was always in bed sleeping by 10.30pm.

Until a couple of years ago we turned our internet off when we went to bed too and this stopped any hassle.

No-one has any electronics upstairs in our house including me and DH. Blanket rule. No TVs upstairs either.

We insist they both bring their phones downstairs to put on charge at 10.30 in week and 11 on a weekend. DS now 17 is fine with this as he likes his sleep. Although when he turned 17 we said he could keep his phone in his room overnight. Whereas, DD 15 almost 16 is foul about this. She has no sense and would be messing about on her phone all night and not sleeping, struggling to get up and in a bad mood the next day. When she is 16 and finished whatever passes for GCSE’s we will probably relent. However, as discussed she has little or no self control so she will likely be even more moodier than she is now (if thats possible).

Dd is 15 and I've just recently given up.
She was allowed it overnight at weekends and holidays and frankly her distress during lockdown has broken me.
DH and I go to bed early- 10 ish. She's on a teenage nocturnal schedule and awake until 11,30 ish. The screaming rows were breaking all of us so she was just allowed it. First week she was knackered. Obviously staying up much too late. By week 8 she's actually managing herself. She's not getting as much sleep as I think she needs but she's so much happier and weirdly doing better at school. She admits that she got tired in the first weeks and so made the grown up decision to switch off earlier. She says there's less pressure on her now to stay online talking until the bitter end because she has the freedom to regulate herself. All her friends have their phones so she's not left out during a time when they can't meet up.
Honestly until recently I was taking her phone away a 9.30 and she was so unhappy. During gcse she often I my finishes homework at 9 so that have her no time to socialise.

Qustodio sends an alert if DS tries to uninstall it. He's tried once or twice. But the house rule is 'no Qustodio, no phone'.

I can't seem to get Family link to actually link.

I remember Qustodio from last time when I had another issue.
You have to pay, don't you?