If a man suggested the following to a woman...

[Berline]

...and they're both straight and single.

A, They went on holiday together
B, She move into his place
C, They found a place to live together

Would you think :
A, He just wanted to be friends
B, He wanted to become a couple with this woman

Please, if you take the trouble to answer this, don't overthink it.
I'm after your initial reactions. A or B?

If there's nothing else then I'd presume friends, unless he's extremely shy and I've suspected him of fancying me or hoping to play the long game that's what I'd presume. But if I worried about it like you are, or if I suspected gre was playing the long game then I would not take him up on those suggestions!

C- he wants someone at home to cook and clean whilst also being free to shag around.

Well I’d think she was mad unless she had a sufficient level of honesty in their communication and confidence in their relationship to ask the questions.

I’d have thought a conversation came before moving in or going on holiday together.

Op it could be anything

If you wish a relationship with him talk to him about it. Don’t just move in hoping. That way lies heartache.

If you’re having to turn to mumsnet for advice on whether or not you’re in a relationship - you’re not. I’d also advise you stay living where you are until you’re adult enough to be able to have that sort of conversation with the man that’s asking you to live with him.....

Hmm. Yeah, I think I've worked it out now. Whoever said C is astute!!

He just wants me around as a companion and to split the donkey work. I can picture us being out together IF I went along with this and him telling people that we 'we just mates. Obviously I want more so that would really hurt.
F* him.

Thanks Dontforgetyourbrolly!

Isnt c and a the same thing? He just wants to be friends?

Ask him...this is madness

Others have said C, too. So thanks.

Is he one of those slippery types that makes all the right noises about a relationship (flirting, asking for more and more closeness etc) but when called on it says “I never said we were a couple! How weird that you’d think that!”

I came to the conclusion that life was too short to be with some who plays games.

The crucial missing point is whether you're having sex.

Actually he's a tool. He knows I really really am into him. To suggest ANYTHING remotely ambiguous and 'relationshipy' is insensitive at best!

Thanks mumsnetters. I won't be used like this.

No idea. If it were just the things you mention, then A, friends. But if the relationship had a FWB side to it, if I were the woman I'd get very mixed messages from that and ask what he wanted from it.

Depends on their existing relationship. Surely they know what that is, so on what basis these things are being suggested?

If one of them isn't clear e.g. about whether they'd both be free to date others while living together, they need to have a conversation about that before deciding what to do.

C or D.

C. If you're having sex, he wants a live in girlfriend with no real commitment. So convenient!

D. If youre not having sex, he wants to live with a woman as his place will be cleaner, he may get food cooked and he might meet girls. Yes, men do this with female flatmates.

@Velvian

The crucial missing point is whether you're having sex.

Agree, is he aware of how you feel about him? Have you been sleeping together?

Yes we are intimate.
I don't think that matters though as somebody pointed out I could be sleeping with him in a fwb way while sharing a place to live.
God no. I don't need the complications of this: I've not ruled out the holiday idea as that might be fun. But the rest of it, no?

I'm in my room listening to him shag someone else. Ugh!

He's either really insensitive and means no harm-at best! Or a manipulative creep.

I've not ruled out the holiday idea as that might be fun.

You really are up for getting screwed by him. In many different ways.

Forget it all then Purpledaisies? I NEED somebody to talk me out of this, so please tell me that I'm being an idiot.

I’m not sure now, if you’re sleeping together. That changes things. He might want more, asking you to move in, holiday together etc is really not typical fwb behaviour,

Op, just speak to him, explain to him that it could be awkward in the long run if this remains fwb and either of you meet someone else. As such what would he like to happen between you, if it’s a relationship then it’s better to give that a crack first off, rather than make this sort of commitment, as you value him to much.

See what he says.

So you’re already living with him, you sometimes sleep with him, you have feelings for him and he’s currently shagging someone else? Please get out of this arrangement OP. You’re going to get really hurt.

Ok, so you're sleeping with him and he's next door shagging someone else.
STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM NOW.

• I'm in my room listening to him shag someone else. Ugh!

He's either really insensitive and means no harm-at best! Or a manipulative creep.*

You don't really need to ask MN, do you? It sounds like you're handy to have around but he doesn't really give a shit about you.

No I'm not living with him. And I'm not in my room listening to him shag someone else. I can IMAGINE that happening.

Thanks for replies. You've clarified this for me.
The very fact that I have to ask here indicates that I'm being messed about by someone who is, at best, insensitive or just a manipulative creep who just wants a 'companion' but hey if he takes a fancy to someone while we're out for a drink he'll just say I'm not his girlfriend and take her home.

I can't have that.

Thank you.

He's not the only attractive man I can imagine liking. Sod it.