This is long, sorry! NC as it's all a bit personal and embarrassing and could potentially be outing if anyone recognises themselves 
Back in the early 90s' I was in my early 20's and was madly in love with my boyfriend 'Gary'. He wasn't perfect at first, he went to ibiza with 'the lads' a few weeks after we met and admitted to some infidelity. I wasn't perfect either and had some drunken snogs in those early weeks.
Anyway. It was an amazing time as our relationship deepened that I remember fondly. We had so much fun together. We were both into trailing around museums and art galleries and had a love of history. It was a very lustful relationship, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I'd never had feelings like that before and was absolutely head over heels.
I had a good friend. 'Hayley'. A while after I met Gary she went through a bad break up after her bf, who she was living with, cheated on her. We found her a new place to live and she started to feel better and had a couple of boyfriends on the rebound. Gary, Hayley and I often spent time together and there were lots of times when we set her up with blind dates or we went out as a foursome with one of her boyfriends.
One weekend, almost a year in to my relationship with Gary, Hayley and I planned a Saturday night in at my place and she was to stay over as usual. We always slept in the same bed when she stayed over. During the evening Gary turned up. I can't remember why. I think he had been let down by a friend. Anyway, I made it clear it was a girls night in but he stayed and joined in with our evening. Hayley and I went to bed in my bed as planned and Gary took the sofa. Sometime during the night Gary slipped into bed beside me, so I was in the middle. No funny business, we just slept. In the morning we all woke and were chatting. It didn't seem odd that we were in the same bed, we had all had odd living arrangements and it wasn't uncommon to wake up in odd situations. I went to the kitchen and could hear them chatting. Everything was fine.
A week or so later Hayley dropped the bombshell that Gary had tried it on with her while they were in the bed together after I had got up. I was devastated. I confronted him and he denied it but maybe because of the ibiza incident and because I trusted Hayley implicitly, I broke up with him. He continued to try and explain that he had done nothing wrong. I still have the big bundle of pleading letters that he sent somewhere!
It broke my heart and it was a dark time but with Hayley's support I eventually moved on. The following year I met dh and we are still together happily.
Gary and I connected via FB about 10 years ago. We're both happily married with dc and now live in different countries. Looking at his photos I didn't really feel anything. It was just nice to be in touch. We sent a couple of messages back and forth, we didn't mention our relationship or break up, it was just a brief catch up and 'nice to be in touch' type thing. We don't really communicate at all now. I will occasionally 'like' his photos of his family and vice versa.
Hayley moved abroad not long after I married dh. We kept in touch via letters and the odd phone call. She returned for a mutual friend's wedding and a couple of other times so we saw each other 3/4 times over about 20 years. Then the communication sort of fizzled out.
Very recently she sent me a friend request on FB. It was so lovely to hear from her and we sent long messages to each other over the course of a couple of days and discussed meeting up once lockdown is over as we now live in the same country. Then I mentioned Gary. I said I'd messaged him once or twice a long time ago and gave her a brief update on what he was doing. She then messaged and told me that she lied about Gary. She thought he would end up cheating on me and didn't want to see me hurt so she made it up so I would break up with him... along with a laughing emoji.
I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. It was such a long time ago but I still remember my heart breaking as Hayley told me Gary had tried it on with her in my bed, and the subsequent months of bleakness as I slowly got over him. She didn't want to see me hurt but she did the worst thing that could hurt me?
I don't know what to say to her. My gut feeling is to delete and block and forget she ever existed but I also want to let rip about the hurt she caused.
I don't know what to do about Gary. Do I mention that Hayley told me she was lying? Should I apologise for not believing him or just let it go?
And of course I've now got the 'What ifs' going through my mind. I don't know if Gary and I were destined to be together forever, but we certainly weren't anywhere near the point of breaking up when we did. It's a bit of a head fuck to be honest! It was 30 years ago but it's brought it all the heartache back! Lockdown and having fuck all to take.my kind off it isn't helping either 
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