How could this lady upset me so much when she didn't really do anything?

MaizeBlouse · 29/01/2021 14:24

Sorry you've had a hard day OP. If it helps, I've had similar in the supermarket before too. I found it really odd as I hadn't done anything thst I know of to upset the cashier.

This sounds like a straw that broke the camels back type of situation. You say yourself that you were looking forward to having a positive day after quite a long time of furlough and it can be totally disheartening when our expectations aren't met.

I hope you feel better soon

Sheleg · 29/01/2021 14:26

I think it's natural to feel quite tearful at the moment. The pandemic is weighing heavily.

Hope you enjoy your birthday!

lughnasadh · 29/01/2021 14:27

Staff on checkouts don't generally want to spend all day in inane small talk.

They'd have had no choice with the chatty customer in front of you, but surely most customers just want to whizz through, no talking.

Especially the Covid phobic.

swaziscot · 29/01/2021 14:27

There’s nothing wrong with you. Lockdown / furlough messes with people’s heads and you were just feeling sensitive. Maybe the cashier was drained by the previous chat and had no more conversation left. The way she treated you wasn’t personal, just remind yourself of that, whoever was next in the queue would’ve been treated the same. She’s probably fed up and has her own crap going on.
Make sure you take care of yourself and have a really lovely birthday.

MistleTOEboughski · 29/01/2021 14:29

Sorry to hear that OP it's hard when you don't see many people, each interaction seems more important. Hope you have a fab birthday 🎂 what treats did you get?

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor · 29/01/2021 14:30

You don't say if you live alone OP. I do part of the week when my DC are at their dads. And I am now WFH but have been in the office for periods since March.
So I have days at a time of no person to person contact and would feel the same as you. Sometimes that checkout lady is the only person you speak to for days!
Who knows what her problem was. Probably nothing to do with you, but you know that already.
Hugs

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 29/01/2021 14:30

I think sometimes you just have one of those days when the fastest thing can set you off.
I hope your day gets better and you manage to rescue your birthday. Sometimes shedding a few years can be quite cathartic and make you feel better.

SingToTheSky · 29/01/2021 14:31

Aw I’m sure it wasn’t personal. Maybe she knew the other customer (even if not personally but as a regular customer)

Sometimes we would get customers who aaaaalways kept you talking and because they’re regulars you don’t feel like you can be standoffish even when you’re in a crap mood IYSWIM.

Or maybe she thought you were someone else (so hard in masks to recognise people) who had been rude or something.

Can pretty much guarantee it was in no way personal to you! But I totally understand the paranoia and tearfulness. It’s just horrible at the moment. I was absolutely convinced tues/wed that one of the nursery staff clearly hated me 😳

Happy birthday x

Moltenpink · 29/01/2021 14:33

It’s horrible at the moment when the one person you speak to all day can’t even bother to be friendly! I get how you feel. Happy birthday

StrangerHereMyself · 29/01/2021 14:35

There’s a fair chance that she misinterpreted your masked body language intended to express “that’s nice that you are having a chat with the old lady, feel free to carry on, I’m in no rush!” as a passive aggressive “FFS some of us have lives to lead and places to go!!”. Without the smile it’s tricky, especially if she herself were getting impatient with the old lady. Or maybe she was just all chatted out for the moment. Some people find it really tiring but can’t necessarily pick and choose their jobs.

Just one of those things - we’ve all been there, and I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/01/2021 14:36

She's all talked out and probably can't deal with another person. You're bored and need some social interaction.

This pandemic is making us all emotional.

happytoday73 · 29/01/2021 14:37

It's hard at the moment... People's emotions are all over the place.... I totally get you....
When my baby was 5 weeks old I was in a shopping queue with another mum who had 6 week old baby... Both big chunky cute babies awake and happy.
The lady serving made a huge fuss over the other baby, came to us and totally ignored my baby. I felt really upset.. Knew it was irrational but I was holding back the tears that she'd treated us so differently...

Big hugs...

Original poster

laughoutquiet · 29/01/2021 14:43

Thank you everyone. I'm normally very sensible and pragmatic! Just seem to be getting these periods of intense sorrow. I know I'm so much luckier than a lot of other people but it doesn't seem to help.

My DH is home this weekend and I'm so looking forward to it. We have Cote at Home and Champagne to indulge ourselves. I just need to pull myself out of this before he gets home else he worries.

Thank you. Not a nest of vipers at all .

OP posts:

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 29/01/2021 14:47

You must have caught us on a good day.

OhToBeASeahorse · 29/01/2021 14:47

I had a similar thing the other day. Something small which shouldn't have bothered me but it knocked me for days. Deffo the pandemic. Have some chocolate is my solution!

cplusername1234 · 29/01/2021 14:58

Ah bless you I think it's until we have reactions like the one you had today you don't realise how much the lockdown/furlough/general covid shite is getting to you. Happy birthday! I had mine a few weeks ago and found it mega depressing. Hugs and

WinstonmissesXmas · 29/01/2021 15:07

You need to think about what within you has made you take this so personally. I wouldn’t have given this a second thought and certainly wouldn’t think it was a reflection on my character, me, or anything else I’d done. At most I’d have thought the check out person was a bit unfriendly but I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

itsgettingweird · 29/01/2021 15:07

There's nothing wrong with you.

There's probably nothing personal from cashier.

Some supermarkets are really strict on time per customer/ number of items and if they've had a really chatty customer they need to move on.

Some also don't want you chatting. So if you've been caught out you need to go back to mega quiet to show it was an anomaly.

But absolutely it's natural to feel when furloughed, home for long periods of time and then feel less valued than other stranger.

Enjoy your birthday and treats

citygirlinwellies · 29/01/2021 15:18

As someone said up-thread it will have been the straw that broke the camels back. Try not to let it get to you, I know that's easier said than done. Have a lovely birthday

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/01/2021 15:18

@WinstonmissesXmas

You need to think about what within you has made you take this so personally. I wouldn’t have given this a second thought and certainly wouldn’t think it was a reflection on my character, me, or anything else I’d done. At most I’d have thought the check out person was a bit unfriendly but I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

I've just been to the supermarket. Shopping for normal groceries and my birthday treat stuff. I made an effort today to have a positive day (I've been furloughed for a long time) not that I suppose that would effect anyone else.

Honestly, I think it's fairly obvious. OP is stuck in the house, wanted to buy a few treat things for her birthday, was craving a bit of human contact and got cold instead.

Deathraystare · 29/01/2021 15:24

Never mind enjoy your champers! I hope there is cake!

shitinmyhandsandclap · 29/01/2021 15:43

@WinstonmissesXmas

You need to think about what within you has made you take this so personally. I wouldn’t have given this a second thought and certainly wouldn’t think it was a reflection on my character, me, or anything else I’d done. At most I’d have thought the check out person was a bit unfriendly but I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

Good for you, OP clearly did for the reasons mentioned in her post. A bit of empathy eh?

davidsSchitt · 29/01/2021 15:58

Yeah, the smile was misconstrued and she thought you were being rude. Then you were rude by shouting at her!

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 29/01/2021 16:04

@WinstonmissesXmas

You need to think about what within you has made you take this so personally. I wouldn’t have given this a second thought and certainly wouldn’t think it was a reflection on my character, me, or anything else I’d done. At most I’d have thought the check out person was a bit unfriendly but I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

Medal in the post. Shame that with your jolly robustness you didn't get some empathy with it. 🙄

BestOption · 29/01/2021 16:07

@laughoutquiet

Don't take it personally. She doesn't know you. I think most of us are closer to the edge than we realise. I feel completely fine, I don't mind the lockdown too much despite living alone etc. But I dropped my hairbrush on the hard floor the other day, it broke & I burst into tears 🙄

I hope you have a lovely weekend with DH