What age should you move out of your parents?

[HforHavana]

I am currently 23 and live with DP and his parents. We have a bit of debt we've accumulated on the likes of credit cards and stupid loans etc which we want to pay off ASAP. I have just done a quick calculation and if we throw everything we have each month at debt and then save 20k for a deposit, it will take us 2 years. This means we'll be moving out at 25 if everything goes to plan.
However I know that paying debt and saving isn't as smooth a road as one would like to think, so add in another year for bumps along the road, we're looking at about 26ish.
I know an increasing number of people are living out later rather than earlier but what age was you when you moved out? And what age do you think your kids will be?

I was 18 when I got my own house. I never went back even for a night.

My children I expect will be 18-19, though I wouldn’t rule out longer or prevent them from coming back if they wanted to.

But if everyone is happy with the arrangements it really doesn’t matter.

When ever is right for you and your family. My dd moved out to uni aged 18-22 and is now back with me aged 24. She has broken up with her bf so no plans to move out.

I have a feeling my dd and bf will be here that long too, currently 22 and 24. The alternative is renting the cheapest, rental you can find so it’s still possible to save for a deposit. Or wait until the unicorns come back for a lottery win

I moved out at 23 when I got married but 100% mortgages still existed back then.

I was 18. I went back for about 6 months when I was 22 but it was always sooner rather than later for me being a priority

My older 2 moved out at 21 and rented with a partner... Ds saved for a mortgage and left at 24 into his own property.. Not sure I could have had him with a +1 until then tbh!

I think things are different now than when I was becoming an adult. Like a lot of people my age, I moved out shortly after my 18th birthday (to uni) and never lived at home again.

But there was no expectation that we would be able to buy a house for many years, I rented with friends after a year in Halls of Residence. And I think that the expectations of lifestyle were different - I lived in some total dives in very rough areas and eat a lot of value baked beans because that was what we could afford.

I look back on that time warmly now, but I imagine it would be less manageable for a young person now as the wouldnt be doing it with their friends, it wouldn't be normal. I never felt poor, because that was how everyone my age I knew was living. Now I think young people expect to live a better lifestyle, so they stay at home to facilitate that. And perhaps they have better relationships with their parents too, meaning that moving out isn't so desirable.

There isn't a right or a wrong, really. As long as everyone is happy.

I hope DS feels happy enough at home that he'll stay long enough to get himself on a secure footing financially.

DH was 27 and I was 24 when we bought out first home together. Living with our parents gave us time to save.

When you are financially able to support yourself, when your MH is robust enough. So no age limit.

My parents always told me that they were happy for me to live at home but they couldn't commit to regular financial support for me to move out. I don't see how you can set an age, it's when you can afford to which is going to be different for everyone.

I know there is no right or wrong answer but I just feel like we will be in his parents forever!
Iv lived there since I was 19 as my mum passed away and I stayed the night at his and never left since (agreed on both sides, I didn't just squat ha!) so it just sorta happened that I moved in it wasn't planned iyswim.

I get along really well with his mum, in fact I'd class her more as friend than a parent figure which I nice. I like the company of living with other people as I have someone else to talk to rather than DP and it just works, however it's not my home if that makes sense. He has a younger brother and sister and so there is 6 of us and the house is quite small.

I can't just leave a mess in the kitchen if I can't be bothered doing the dishes, or invite my friends around as there is nowhere to sit (not a problem in lockdown).
They are minor problems which I can live with, but it makes it not proper home if that makes sense.

I am extremely grateful to be living with them but I just want my own space, and I'm sooo ready for it now. I'm not sure what my point is but I feel like Iv left it too long and should of moved out sooner given the above, but obviously we never. It makes me feel abit better when I know people haven't moved till late 20s or older as I don't feel as bad then!

There's no right age, it's what works for you. My elder dd is living with me, the younger I barely see thanks to covid, she lives year round at university

You're living with them longer now because you're saving. In five years the conversation will be who has bought their first house. All your renting friends will be further behind you then.

There is no 'should'... it's whatever is right for you & them.

I stayed living with my dad for too long, because until I went to do my nurse training at 24 I was temping & couldn't afford a bed sit somewhere as I didn't have financial stability.
But I dreaded leaving work at 530pm as my dad & I rowed so much, he actually got so angry he shut my hand in a cupboard once & that was when we both realised things had gone too far.
He considered it to be very much his home & if I left anything outside my tiny bedroom it was 'mess', plus my cooking was 'mess' & 'smelly'. Etc.
So I moved into hospital accommodation on starting my nurse training, my first set of flatmates were unpleasant so I moved flats & the new ones were ok.

My dad & I rebuilt our relationship & I even stayed over at times.
Now I have my own house & 20 years later we're good friends, I never remind him of that time.

I’m late 20s, still live at home. Moved back in after uni - parents living in London meant it was stupid of me to rent somewhere! I contribute ‘rent money’ and buy my own food.

My job requires a LOT of overseas travel in normal times (and I still travel a bit atm). I refuse to pay rent or a mortgage on a property I won’t be in for an average of 6-7 months a year. The money I have saved means my deposit on a house, when I eventually decide to buy, will be at least middle 6 figures. Any mortgage I do need will be minuscule.

In comparison, friends doing the same job have very little savings because of London rent etc. They will have huge mortgages when they do eventually buy and they were (prior pandemic) paying for property’s that they barely live in.

It’s up to the person; but personal circumstances have a huge influence. I definitely think I made the right decision for me

I was 26 when I flew the nest...but I had to because of work. My brother moved out the following year I think when he was 32.

Its different for everyone really.

It sounds like you are ready to move out. It's hard to really become an adult when you don't have control of your living environment and don't have to manage the responsibilities that come with that. There is nothing wrong with renting while you save for a deposit - it will take a few more years but you have time.

Also 18 to university. Returned for holidays and for brief spells between jobs and houses but never for longer than 3 months from that point. Was telling dd1 though that I moved 15 times between the ages of 18 and 25. Bought my first house (with now exdh) at 27ish.

Whenever is right for the individual and their family. There is no right answer.

18

It really depends on your individual situation. When i was 19 i moved overseas with my now DH (to his home country). We moved back and forth every few years and lived with my or his parents on between while appartment hunting.
My sister lived at home until she was 26. Home was close to her uni and first job so it worked out well for her and she was able to save up a bit. My parents still live in our childhood home, so no reason for her to move out, they have a lot of space. My brother was similar to me. He moved around a lot because hes a sports professional and was transferred all over. Him and his wife often lived with my parents for in between move periods.
If your inlaws dont mind and it helps you guys financially, then there is nothing wrong with staying.

It's so different on the property market now. I left home at 18 for uni. Came back for 6 months after graduating before I moved in to IL's after meeting DH and less than a year later we'd bought a flat together. But that was 10 years ago.

My brother is 28 and still lives at home, he's done uni, he's travelled, he's lived abroad and always worked but he's single and there's just no way on earth he could afford to live within an hour or two of us in London on a single wage. He's realised until he meets someone he's basically stuck.

I moved out at 21, however dh was renting a place of his own when we got together so after so long it just made sense to move in with him. We still live there now 6 years later whilst saving to buy a house in the next 2/3 years.
I would recommend (if everyone involved in happy) to stay until you have paid of your debts and saved for your deposit. Once you're on your own will all the bills, saving for a mortgage is much harder and will take longer.

It all depends on circumstances; I never went back after uni as there weren’t the jobs in the area and my friends in the area had moved on but if I could have got a job and lived at home I would have done to save money. A lot of the people I know who lived at home for longer are in a better financial situation than those who left home earlier.

Just depends when you’re ready as long as people are doing their share of the housework etc. My three are welcome to live with me as long as they want.