When do you delete Facebook friends?

[CantWaitForSummer2021]

Like many people, I have lots of Facebook 'friends' who I never speak to. I left school 13 years ago and I still have people on from there, even though we haven't spoken since and wouldn't speak if we walked past each other in the street. This is also the case with uni people, work colleagues and people I've met on holidays, who I still have on Facebook.

I have noticed some people have removed me, and while this feels a bit of a snub, I suppose it's fair enough as we are strangers now...

If I culled the list down to family and people I actually speak to, I would probably have around 30 'friends'.

Do you delete people or do you just leave it as it is?

Also if you want to delete 100/200 people and dread doing it one by one, you can download a free app called 'groups' and it takes seconds.

Just get rid and think no more about it.

A lot of people don’t even post ever, they are there for a nosy.

Why feel guilty?

More on

Just get rid of the whole thing. You'll still keep your actual friends. The rest of them? Who even are they? Sod Suckerberg.

I never accepted people unless I knew them well enough in first place or were an old friend I wanted ( be nosey ) get back in touch with , so not much culling to do, removed bil as he is a knob .

I keep mine to people I actually know in real life and communicate regularly with, any offensive comments along the lines of any kind of bigotry I will remove them.

It's rare I do this as generally my friends and family are decent people, even if we don't necessarily share certain opinions, and I mean to great extremes at times, but I take the view we're grown ups and can agree to disagree BUT I won't stand for any "isms" type posts and that includes anti immigration extreme posts and disablism.

I'll mute anyone caught up in mlm crap, I've tried to speak to a few in the past and it's hopeless, best to step back until they're through it, although one person is constantly getting drawn into "get rich quick" schemes and then it all goes pear shaped a few months later, I think they are vulnerable but unfortunately they're not vulnerable enough for professional support and those close to them keep trying to steer them right unsuccessfully.

If I kept it to people I see I'd have none! I'm housebound, everyone that lives near me is having to be careful with covid as am I and quite a few of my family and good friends are far flung (partly their circumstances partly mine as I was an army brat and wife and so I have several who are army related people and constantly moving) also as a few of family are emigrants, Facebook is actually excellent for keeping up with everyone.

I very rarely delete anyone.

I have a regular cull and keep my list under 100.
I have a no current colleagues rule but have added one or two after I've left if I really liked them.
If they do mlm that's an immediate delete.
I don't have anyone I've not actually met and would t stop and say hello to.
I have my cousins ex girlfriend as I find her interesting and we have similar view points so I like to see she is doing well.
I accidentally added a school run mum which is a tad awkward as I don't have any others.
I was shocked to find a close family member has over 1000 friends so I no longer tag them in anything

I have never culled anyone and have no idea how many friends I have. However I never post anything or read my feed (just use Facebook for groups really) so I don't really know who I have got on there.

I notice people have deleted me. Sometimes because I notice they haven't posted for a while, pop their name in the search box and find out that way. Then I might think (eg if its a former colleague) that I haven't seen others from that workplace for a while either. Others its because we're in a group together, or they comment on someone else's post and I click on their profile. I've never been upset by it, occasionally a little surprised but everyone chooses their friends in the way that suits them.

Anyone who posts moronic chain statuses along the lines of "Repost (don't share!) if you hate cancer. Only 3.5% of you will, and I know who you are".

Feck off, mate. I love cancer. Who doesn't?

My immediate neighbour has deleted me, I do wonder what happened...

Weirdly, I'm quite ruthless myself.

Every now and then I cull. If I wouldn't say hi in the street or if they are not a particularly nice person and I can live with not seeing their lives But some are friends of friends who I might talk to now and again. It's happened before when we've suddenly been invited to a joint thing. I have also been known to message people out of the blue and get back in touch if we were friends before.

@ktp100

I tend to forget who is & isn't on my list but I rarely remove friends.

Or I didn't until the last few years!!

Bye bye racists, Union Jack profile pic wankers, Trump lovers, Farage quoters, All lives matter arseholes, Qanon loonies, anti maskers, anti vaxxers and, obviously, people who post pictures of their dinner.

I really hope I've been removed from a multitude of right-winger's friends lists but alas, I wouldn't notice if I have or not

Yes this as well to the point I deleted my nephew, one of my bils, and both of DPs sisters as they drove me insane. One sister did notice but I blamed a Facebook hacking. And then never readded her I won't tolerate people who can't debate like an adult, so if someone had a different political leaning to me that's fine, as long as they respectfully debate and use intelligence and don't just go for S*n reader rubbish.

Just have a cull and get rid of anyone who you think is very distanced for your life. I don’t understand it when people have thousands of friends on their fb page. I have a few hundred and get rid of people all the time if I haven’t spoken to them for a while.

Anyone who is suddenly 'woke'
Anyone peddling a MLM scheme
Anyone who doesn't spell and punctuate their posts correctly.

I culled my (former) best mate just after Christmas.

Still sad about it, we've been best mates for 25 years, but it turns out he has a partner that he'd never mentioned to me. The fact of his going all about the houses to not mention her despite every opportunity so to do - I talk about my DH and son, he only ever talks about himself as a single entity - made me think either he's still holding out for a shag, or he's become something of a knobber of late.

Either way, I didn't think it was all right for me to be still besties with someone who chooses not to recognise his partner's existence to another woman. That would make me incredibly sad and uncomfortable if it was my husband, and I wouldn't knowingly do it to another person.

@Cattermole

I culled my (former) best mate just after Christmas.

Still sad about it, we've been best mates for 25 years, but it turns out he has a partner that he'd never mentioned to me. The fact of his going all about the houses to not mention her despite every opportunity so to do - I talk about my DH and son, he only ever talks about himself as a single entity - made me think either he's still holding out for a shag, or he's become something of a knobber of late.

Either way, I didn't think it was all right for me to be still besties with someone who chooses not to recognise his partner's existence to another woman. That would make me incredibly sad and uncomfortable if it was my husband, and I wouldn't knowingly do it to another person.

I find this really odd. If he was genuinely your best friend, why didn't you talk to him about it?

Every so often I am reminded to do a bit a of a cull when see an sm friend irl and we do not say hello, or when I leave a job and the obligation friends who I was not keen on can be removed without causing problems at work. However I did a really big one at the beginning of lockdown when I got a lot of friend requests from people I ether barely remember or had previously defriended me obviously just being nosy-which is strange as I rarely post and am very boring! It made me really think about who I actually wanted to see my posts and pictures, and embarrassingly who I kept on as I liked being nosy myself-a bit of a toxic habit that always made me feel bad. The funniest thing about it was about five people who I defriended tried to re friend again-and everyone one of those five I have not spoken to in years-if not decades, bizarre.

@WunWun because I can't think of any justifiable reason why you would - not once but on a number of occasions, and deliberately - erase your partner from a narrative. Someone is either part of your life, or they're not.

I've seen threads on here from people in that situation and it's hurt them dreadfully. I'm not going to be the OW in an emotional affair.

(That's the condensed version, by the way!)

It doesn't sound like you were anything near good friends tbh.

This has been an interesting read. I'm so happy to read that so many people defriend people and keep it to a minimum.

I recently came off Facebook although have kept messenger. I came off because of all the arguing and opinions. I thought it would be brief, but its lasted and I'm letting it.

I have deleted the odd person over time tho and always felt guilty afterwards, as tho I'd committed a faux pas. One of my partner's best friends for example wrote racist rubbish on my thread after the incident in America and I deleted his comment, explained to him why privately and then deleted him a week or so later. But the fallout is that he knows and I have to see him. My partner wasn't that bothered.

But now from reading your posts, maybe it doesn't matter that much. Maybe I could open it back up, delete most of the people and stick around?

Or maybe not, but not feel guilty either.

I leave them all. I quite like seeing what "Fred" I went to school with is up to in Australia, even though I haven't spoken to him in 30 years, or having a means to contact old colleagues, if I should need to for some random reason. If people post lots of annoying stuff, I unfollow them, but leave them in my friends list.

Everyone in my list is people I've known pretty well IRL though, even though I'm not in any other contact with some now.

When I got married I had a pretty large wedding so had a big cull and basically deleted everyone I didn't invite!
Then when I had DS1 had another cull and deleted everyone I didn't think would meet him!
I was surprised at how many people did actually try to readd me and kept on doing so over the years but because I put photos of him on there for family who don't get to see him as much I haven't caved!

I deleted everyone who I wouldn't be happy inviting round for a coffee. It made my list very short but with all things quality is more important than quantity. I don't post a lot and I rarely check it but the people I have on it now are people who I like.