When do you delete Facebook friends?

[CantWaitForSummer2021]

Like many people, I have lots of Facebook 'friends' who I never speak to. I left school 13 years ago and I still have people on from there, even though we haven't spoken since and wouldn't speak if we walked past each other in the street. This is also the case with uni people, work colleagues and people I've met on holidays, who I still have on Facebook.

I have noticed some people have removed me, and while this feels a bit of a snub, I suppose it's fair enough as we are strangers now...

If I culled the list down to family and people I actually speak to, I would probably have around 30 'friends'.

Do you delete people or do you just leave it as it is?

I barely wish anyone happy birthday on fbook. If I know them well I text or WhatsApp them and if not why are they bothered whether I take the couple of seconds to type happy birthday? Which fb auto fills for you anyway. I've taken my own birthday off fbook for that reason.

I don't wish anyone happy birthday. It feels coercive.

People on Facebook are mostly people I never see --that's the point, we aren't keeping in touch otherwise but I'm fond of them.

Three times I’ve had a big cull over the last 13 or 14 years and each time within a few weeks, something has cropped up and I’ve been back in contact with a culled person and it has been really really awkward!

I ask myself would I go for coffee or a drink with this person if the opportunity presented itself. If the answer is no then why am I I friends with them in FB. I only have 22 friends on FB.

If they try and pull me into mlm schemes.
If they post racist crap
If they post QAnon pie in the sky conspiracy theory.

I have deleted a good many of dhs 'family' for the above. I have a select few family and friends I like to keep in touch with and if something makes me feel uncomfortable then they are deleted. This especially applied to my 'delightful' SIL who posted some long, mostly illiterate rant about Muslims and taking our jobs when FIL was in hospital having a life extending operation by a lovely Muslim surgeon. It's been ten peaceful years since I pointed that out to her and blocked her. Good times.

Every now and then. Mostly people I haven't talked to online or in real person for years. Not even a "Happy Birthday " obligatory message when FB nags you or random like.

What's the point? We're basically strangers now.

Mainly on their birthday when their birthday reminder pops up, and I think "don't care".

Otherwise if they spout awful hateful stuff, then I'm trigger happy.

I'm militant
In my old career, I ended up with about near the limit of how many you can have, and most of these were people I would be at an event with, hand them my card and then they would add me.
About a year after I walked away from it, I noticed when birthday reminders popped up I'd be like "who?"
So I went through and I culled and culled until I had people who I actually loved and wanted to see on my timeline.
I got rid of the noisy sycophantic narcissistic twits, the "look at me, look at me in my stunning life" lot who made me leave that career in the first place.
But don't be one of those "I'm having a Facebook cull so if you don't interact you're outta here" or the "if you see this, congratulations and well done as you survived my friend list cull" because that's a really shitty thing to do. And both those I've seen before and when I've seen them or variations I unfriend because we are not kids in a playground

Anyone who I wouldn't chat to in the street

I'm quite fascinated by people 'noticing' if they have been removed from a friend's Facebook - I wouldn't notice. I mean, you don't get a notification or anything. I don't keep a register than I consult weekly or anything - how would I know ?

I delete people if they start posting politics that I really really object to. I'm happy to 'agree to disagree' over some stuff, but occasionally people cross that line.
I then look through about once a year and have a bit of a cull. Rarely delete many though, as I don't accept people in the first place unless they are friends. It's just the odd person that might have been 'of a time' that might go.
I don't delete people because I don't see them though I actually use Facebook to keep in touch with people that I physically don't see often - that's one of the points of having it.

If I wouldn’t go for a real life drink with them if they asked, they get culled. This same rule applies whether I haven’t seen them for a week or a decade.

I have zero friends on Facebook. I deleted everyone(probably 200+ people) because I was getting overly worried about deleting people and causing offence, but then I was equally upset about constant arguing and bickering over Brexit. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and Facebook was actually feeding my anxieties. I figured that if people wanted to stay in touch they'd call, text and email.

When i joined Facebook in 2009 it started out as a really fun place for me to interact with old friends, new friends and family near and far. It has since became a putrid and argumentative platform that allows people to show the world their worst possible side, it didn't bring the best out in me either.

The only reason I kept it was because I wanted to keep the Memories function (baby memories I'd otherwise forget) and also so I could continue to participate in some hobby and interest groups.

However I am now thinking that I will just delete it completely, it serves no real purpose but it is marketed in such a way to make you think your life wouldn't be as full or interesting if you didn't have it.

I do have an Instagram account but i find that less invasive and I use it mainly to follow certain actors, musicians and comedians. I post photos occasionally to my 50 ish followers (mainly family) and of them I think maybe 9 or 10 interact regularly.

I tend to forget who is & isn't on my list but I rarely remove friends.

Or I didn't until the last few years!!

Bye bye racists, Union Jack profile pic wankers, Trump lovers, Farage quoters, All lives matter arseholes, Qanon loonies, anti maskers, anti vaxxers and, obviously, people who post pictures of their dinner.

I really hope I've been removed from a multitude of right-winger's friends lists but alas, I wouldn't notice if I have or not

I culled a load of anti vaxx dickheads last year and that was pleasing as they were pretty thick bastards that I had ended up on FB with ove that years and had meant to cut off. My FB page is now a much less embarrassing read.

I go through my list periodically and delete people who I don't interact with or who post crap I don't enjoy seeing.

I personally think its petty to just delete people that you dont see irl or people who havent interacted with you in X amount of time. I have facebook friends who will rarely post as they dont 'do' facebook but as they live in different cities it's nice to have them so we can mutually interact with eachothers posts. I have anxiety and most days if i see someone that I know irl I will put my head down and pretend I havent seen them as if I were to stop and speak I'd have a panic attack, dont know why this happens but I've had therapy for it to no success. I much prefer online interaction when I'm not busy.

@birthingball

I personally think its petty to just delete people that you dont see irl or people who havent interacted with you in X amount of time. I have facebook friends who will rarely post as they dont 'do' facebook but as they live in different cities it's nice to have them so we can mutually interact with eachothers posts. I have anxiety and most days if i see someone that I know irl I will put my head down and pretend I havent seen them as if I were to stop and speak I'd have a panic attack, dont know why this happens but I've had therapy for it to no success. I much prefer online interaction when I'm not busy.

Why is it petty to delete someone that I haven't seen or really spoken to in 21 years?

I have a cull when I’m in a bad mood. Quite frequent these days. My best/worst one was when I deleted someone and literally seconds later I bumped into her, we had quite a nice chat and I felt so guilty. She has hundreds of friends though so I don’t know if she’s noticed yet.

It'd be a crying shame if your account were hacked and your friends list was decimated. You might even need to create a new account

I just deactivated it. After the year with brexiteers, covid deniers and racists, it just wasn’t a pleasant place to be. The only down side is that I don’t get to interact quite as much with family abroad as a result.

I’d actually quite like to go back to the days of sharing dinners

I have 16 friends on Facebook and none of my family. I only keep it for a few groups and a couple of long distance friendships.

My time line is updated about once every six months and I rarely interact with anyone I know irl on there.

I wouldn't notice if someone unfriended me probably.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose I didnt mean that! I meant people saying if their fb friends add them and then dont interact for 2 weeks they will delete them. Not everyone is constantly glued to fb, theres been times I've requested somebody and then not clicked fb on for 2 months!

Anyone who hasn't posted anything on their own page recently gets deleted. Anyone who posts "share if you agree" but also posts interesting stuff gets a rolling 30 day mute.
Old colleagues get deleted after a couple of years, unless we've carried on the friendship outside FB.
Relatives are kept to keep the peace but are also unfollowed if they're annoying so I can check on the them occasionally but I'm not reminded of them regularly.

I don't delete people, unless I can't remember who they are.Many of my FB friends are from school and quite a few are from my years on MN.

I culled it down to 30, but then it trickled back up to 40. I delete a few every year.

I always think who would come to my funeral? If they wouldn't, they don't need to see my photos and know about my life.

It's lovely.