Things on MN that aren’t real life (LIGHTHEARTED)

[Summersun2020]

Thing on Mumsnet that you’ve only ever encountered on Mumsnet (lighthearted...please don’t bowl in with “well I do that actually”...ignore or add one of your own!!

People not using fabric softener...appears that on MN people in their droves think it stinks and is devil juice (I don’t know anyone IRL who is so vehemently against it/gets a migraine from the smell?? Surely it’s not that strong?).

any sort of noise in your garden at any time-kids on a trampoline, playing a radio at a normal level, etc. Completely normal everywhere I’ve ever lived- a cardinal sin on MN!

@DeathValley69 ‘Tea’ is definitely more common in the north, not sure about supper. My grandmother (Sussex) has supper parties but dinner on normal days

Oh yes the carb thing is weird. I've seen posters insist you absolutely can't lose weight unless you do keto/paleo/Atkins or whatever they're calling it that particular week. They insist it's no hassle at all, just a simple "lifestyle" change.

IRL anyone I know just cuts back on the cake/chocolate and walks the dog a bit more. But apparently this DOES NOT work. Everybody - literally everybody - I know IRL eats bread/pasta/potatoes etc. It's a place of extremes in general I find.

The Mumsnet house never has less than two bathrooms.

....but your DH (or any visitors) is not allowed to take a dump in either of them! 🤣

@Fizbosshoes

The Mumsnet house never has less than two bathrooms.

....but your DH (or any visitors) is not allowed to take a dump in either of them! 🤣

That"s because they are not allowed to clean them with a loo brush.

I always think of MN as being very urban rather than rural. Lots of advice to people who can't get somewhere "just order an Uber". Try doing that where I live (yes, rural) and you'd be stuffed. Similarly lots of advice to people on budgets to use Aldi. Well, our nearest Aldi is 10 miles and 2 buses away.

Fun. Fun is strictly banned on MN.

In real life adults are allowed to have fun and enjoy themselves without being called children, icky, immature etc.

Refusing to ever help or indulge your DH, in anyway whatsoever, because you are a strong woman and as a strong woman you are too busy doing strong woman stuff to lend a hand if your DH is perhaps tired or struggling.

Sometimes, I actually enjoy doing stuff for DH, just because...I like to spoil him a bit. I know he hates packing with a passion, so I have packed for him for the last 29 years! Yes, even if he's going away without me But, he sometimes spoils me too. And, I'd hazard that our relationship is more fun and more tender than those of the strong women who's ungenerous relationship rules read more like a dusty business contract than a warm, loving marriage.

Kids only eating porridge for breakfast , no sugary cereal ever bougy , guess must only be me then buying

@Ostryga 🤣🤣🤣

@EmmaGrundyForPM
Well, our nearest Aldi is 10 miles and 2 buses away.

I hope there is somewhere nearer for to direct your DH and guests to use the facilities when they want to do more than a tinkly little laugh wee!!

The obsession with mooncups on Mumsnet puzzles me. Irl,I've never known anyone who actually uses one of these! In fact,a friend of mine didn't even know what they were.

I've never met anyone who would have separate washing set up. It's in a basket and whoever is putting washing on is putting a washing on. I don't get the "he washes his and I wash mine". Though I could makbe get away with sock pairing like that since I usually wear his when I have boots😂

Send him packing ..when you both own the house.

I haven't read the full thread but... if someone doesn't like you, "they're just jealous". It doesn't matter if you've been a right bitch to them in the past, if they dare to speak back, "they're just jealous". People tell of one tiny instance in a day and "they're just jealous", they don't like your jacket "they're just jealous". Do people really think there could be no other reason?

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Oh and children that can read a novel by the age of 3. Eh, no that doesn't happen irl. I look after children, have done for years, have my own. My mum has also looked after children for the last 25 years. Never have we come across a child that can read before they start school.

I could read when I was 3. Not novels, although I was reading chapter books by 4. I didn't go to school though, and learnt by picking it up while my mum was painstakingly teaching my dyslexic older sister.

Wait.....

Wait for what, for the poster to catch up on something they missed cos they didn’t read the thread properly 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm fairly certain the tea/supper/dinner thing is one of those things that's evolved or is evolving - perhaps as a result of less obvious and rigid social classes and regional divides?

I didn't grow up in England but my parents are English. We definitely said supper for evening meal. But I can't remember if that was the same for all my friends. At some point subsequent to moving to the UK, I have started calling it dinner. I'm almost positive that my parents call it dinner now too. Certainly my Dad's mum came from a slightly posh (but definitely aspirational and snobby) family but my Mum wasn't and of course, they left the UK when they were young. So not sure how that has a bearing on things, if at all.

Tea, for me, is literally that - tea (or coffee) with cake if you're lucky. I was caught out a few times when DS was young when I invited people for tea only to realise they were fully expecting a meal, at least for the kids (thank god for pasta pesto and/or fish fingers!).

The cringe 'I live very rurally'.

@BlingLoving very regional in uk wether tea or dinner is used
We always said dinner ( london) my dh midlands and has always said tea

@DameCelia

*@Triphazards* are you saying you don't believe rural or leafy areas exist

The ones MNers claim to inhabit probably don't exist!

@DameCelia erm, the OP has been rather quiet as she’s been in work (we’re not all part of the aristocracy you know). Just catching up.
It was absolutely started lightheartedly. If you equate not using fabric softener with being middle class I really don’t know what to tell you...

My grandparents used to day supper but supper isn't dinner its a snack you have before bed , so cup of tea and bit toast , that sort of thing.
Def not posh lived in london in a council house and would not try to be posh either or middle class,

@donewithitalltodayandxmas I said similar previously in thread. Supper is tea and toast before bed! Tea/dinner is regional I think.
Supper as your evening meal is people trying to sound posh

Yes, my mum brings out cheese and bread at bedtime, several hours after tea at 5/6pm. That's supper.

"I limit the children's screen time to eight seconds a week."

"We do all our shopping at the ecological, artisanal, traditional, organical, (very) rural, leafy, er... where was I? Have I already said 'traditional?'

Anyway, then DH cooks our supper with it. Maybe I mean dinner, whichever is the middle class one.