Does anyone else here work with a competitive dieter

MajorMujer · 2021-01-19T08:22:15+00:00

........and if you do can I have some tips to cope with it without being rude or giving encouragement.

Ostryga · 19/01/2021 08:23

Nip it in the bud. Just do not allow them to discuss food with you. I have worked with someone like this and I just used to say ‘I’m here to work, not discuss food’.

If they continue bring it up with HR.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 19/01/2021 08:27

I have done in the past. I remember walking into my first day in a new branch (large company) and my new manager's first conversation with me was about her Weight Watcher's meeting the night before. And basically that was all she ever talked about, with a tiny bit of work related stuff thrown in! I was so pleased to move onto another branch about a month later.

It is so boring! Just don't engage I guess?

cheesebubble · 19/01/2021 08:27

I'm so confused, how can it be a competition? My colleague and I love food and even send us new recipes and even share what we cooked on WhatsApp but that's because we both love food.

I wouldn't dream to talk about food if the other person isn't interested or doesn't enjoy food as much as I do. Is she/ he ramming it down your throat as to what they're eating? How odd!

Original poster

MajorMujer · 19/01/2021 08:36

Competitive as in - we work together in a live in job, 24/7 week on week off. If I have say, a boiled egg & toast for breakfast they will have half a boiled egg, no toast and ask how I can possibly eat SO MUCH. Repeat for every meal.

OP posts:

wibblewombat · 19/01/2021 08:38

Mutter darkly about frailty, bone loss from the brain stripping calcium out of the bones to remain nourished...

nuitdesetoiles · 19/01/2021 08:41

I used to work in an environment where the chat was constantly about food, diet and weight. As I was relatively senior I banned it in communal areas! The preoccupation with weight and body image in this country perpetuates negativity. Aside from maybe weight watchers and slimming world diets don't work and it's a toxic industry designed to make women hate themselves.

My ex manager was competitive with me about everything, including weight and it became exhausting and was one of the reasons why I left. Also the endless snipy comments about "how skinny" I was wore me down. They were just digs thinly veiled as complements.

gannett · 19/01/2021 08:43

Well don't play her vapid, tedious game. How can you eat so much? Because a good boiled egg is bloody nice and you thoroughly enjoyed it, thanks very much.

Treat her boring diet chat as though she was a bloke banging on about football to you. You're not interested, you don't know about the minutiae of this diet or that diet and you don't care. Change subject.

If she has no other conversation at all my deepest sympathies for having to work with such a bore.

IliveonCoffee · 19/01/2021 08:44

'I don't comment on what you eat' ad nauseam.

Slightly rude I suppose but any 'protesting' in the form of 'I'm hungry', 'this is a normal amount??' Or 'well you eat like a sparrow' will almost certainly lead to a discuss and invite further comments.

Whatisapension · 19/01/2021 08:45

I used to work with bunch of them that all went to SW. They would say things like ‘oh all I can see in that is syns syns syns!’, and I used to reply that all I could see was delicious cake (or whatever the food was) and scoff it.

You could take a similar approach and say that you just how much you love toast or whatever food she has gone without.

I wouldn’t go to HR lol.

Whatisapension · 19/01/2021 08:46

Sorry say just how much you love !

Whoateallthestuffingballs · 19/01/2021 08:50

I would say that you'd prefer that she didn't comment on your eating and leave it at that. Don't get sucked in to a conversation or explanations. Then if she makes another comment say, we talked about this. Ad nauseum. Don't engage otherwise.

cheesebubble · 19/01/2021 09:09

@MajorMujer

Competitive as in - we work together in a live in job, 24/7 week on week off. If I have say, a boiled egg & toast for breakfast they will have half a boiled egg, no toast and ask how I can possibly eat SO MUCH. Repeat for every meal.

Some people have no life have they? I see why you find this hard to deal with. Being me, I would be very straight up, not being rude but firm.

As in that you would rather not have running commentary on what you eat because it's simply not necessary. Good luck x

Hammyhamster92 · 19/01/2021 09:12

One of my colleagues, ( pre-lockdown), actually, seriously suggested we bring some scales to work and had weekly weigh in's.

DayBath · 19/01/2021 09:22

@Hammyhamster92

One of my colleagues, ( pre-lockdown), actually, seriously suggested we bring some scales to work and had weekly weigh in's.

JFC, I just had to comment to say how much this enraged me on your behalf. Don't people understand eating disorders? Any of their colleagues could secretly have one and they wouldn't have a clue. They could be asking an anorexia or bullimia sufferer to engage in competitive weigh ins!! And none of them could say anything as that would be revealing their personal health information.

OP your colleague is batshit, I've worked with people like that before. Pity usually did the trick to shame them back into their cubicles. "Really, you're obsessing about my food again? Do you think you should look into some counselling? It's so sad that you can't talk about anything else"? Worked every time.

WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo · 19/01/2021 09:28

Tell her talking about food is triggering for you and could she please not discuss it anymore. No need to mention its triggering rage :o)

Original poster

MajorMujer · 19/01/2021 10:17

I have had disordered eating in the past ( both under and over) and I can see that ber thinking is way off ( treats, bad foods ect). I've tried the I dont discuss food tactic - she starts again at the next meal. I have mentioned it to a manager and got the impression that management are aware but dont want to tackle it directly 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

maudspellbody · 19/01/2021 10:18

Oh God. Why do people do this?!

I lost a lot of weight in my last job (about 4 stone) and I got so sick of the comments and questions. All day, every day. I think they thought they were being complimentary, but I lost the first stone after a trauma and then struggled with medication and lost my appetite. I then capitalised on it and found a way of eating which worked for me to get to a healthy weight. I didn't want to talk about it. Ever.

I didn't want to be looked at and have my weight talked about.
I have never done WW or SW or any 'plan' because I don't like talking about weight and food with other people.

The women (always women) passing comment were always the slimmer ones too.

It made me feel like it was the only interesting thing about me. I felt I was in a goldfish bowl.

Since starting my new job, no one knows I used to be bigger and I can just be me again. It's such a relief.

I don't get it. It's fantastically annoying.

Just leave me alone!

Original poster

MajorMujer · 19/01/2021 10:26

@maudspellbody that's interesting, all this started after she had seen a photo of me taken last year - I am 2 st lighter now but like you it was mainly down to a change in medication.

OP posts:

ShirleyPhallus · 19/01/2021 10:28

@MajorMujer

Competitive as in - we work together in a live in job, 24/7 week on week off. If I have say, a boiled egg & toast for breakfast they will have half a boiled egg, no toast and ask how I can possibly eat SO MUCH. Repeat for every meal.

Ah, you live in mumsnet land then?

Quite honestly I can only sniff an egg shell and I’m full, and a crumb of toast keeps me sated for a week. Anything more than that and you’re a greedy pig quite honestly.

lastqueenofscotland · 19/01/2021 10:31

I used to work in an office where people DID bring scales on for weigh ins! It was utterly bizarre

FrancesHaHa · 19/01/2021 10:34

I've also worked in an office where there were scales and a weekly weigh in. There was just me and the one man who worked there who didn't engage with it. It was my first job and I thought that was just what offices were like!

MedusasBadHairDay · 19/01/2021 10:42

I used to work with someone like that, it drove me mad. Like you I have disordered eating in my past, so it could be really triggering. Especially as I was a lot bigger than her, and she'd spend a lot of time talking about how horrible it was to be fat. She'd skip meals then boast about her SW certificate.

She was so evangelical about SW always trying to persuade me to join, me pointing out that regular weigh ins and counting calories (or syns) was a massive trigger for me didn't stop her.

I never found a way of getting her to stop though unfortunately. Luckily she eventually left and everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief.

LooseMooseHoose · 19/01/2021 10:43

I've worked somewhere where it was a group of men that has weekly weigh ins! TBF there was only a few women, and everyone was welcome to join if they liked. They had spreadsheet records going back a few years with graphs and everything!

I used to quite like chatting to them about it. But there was no competition, no judging of food etc. It was just a pleasant way of them all supporting each other, as they all felt WW / slimming world etc was too woman-centric

Original poster

MajorMujer · 19/01/2021 10:44

I've worked in offices where we would swap recipes etc, no problem with that at all. This person is different, it's like if she eats less than me she is winning a game that I have no interest in playing !

OP posts:

LooneyLovefood · 19/01/2021 10:47

I have this with my DM! No matter what I've had she's had less. She's about ten stone lighter than I am and well over a foot shorter than me so really it's no surprise she eats less. But she always seems so shocked that I'll have had two slices of toast for breakfast when she could only manage half a one. It's driven me mad for the last twenty years and I've never found a solution. I've tried saying "I'm not discussing food with you thank you" or even "well you could do with eating a bit more to be honest" (she really could!), just ignoring her when she mentions food and changing the subject but like you said, it returns with the next meal. So sorry no advice but full understanding and sympathies! If you find a solution pass it this way!