Does anyone else here work with a competitive dieter

[MajorMujer]

........and if you do can I have some tips to cope with it without being rude or giving encouragement.

Start being sarcastic back, ‘amazing do you want a medal?’ ‘I think your due a phone call from the queen congratulating you on your achievement any moment now’ and walk away, a couple of times making her look silly for her comments she’s going to stop. I wouldn’t be able to help myself

@MajorMujer

I've worked in offices where we would swap recipes etc, no problem with that at all. This person is different, it's like if she eats less than me she is winning a game that I have no interest in playing !

That would be so irritating, and not good for your relationship with food.

Tell her straight. 'You are obsessing about comparing our eating. You are not to comment on my food again. I also think you should consider whether you need to speak to your GP about your feelings around food'. Get up and walk off if she starts again.

You need to prioritize protecting your own health here. Over time this drip drip drip may send you back into disordered eating.

My DM is exactly like this. She has become this person that competitively under eats and perceives this to be healthy as she’s “skinny”. I perceive it as an eating disorder. It’s the only thing she ever talks about. What she’s cooking, what she’s eaten, what she weighs, how much she’s lost. It’s like her whole identity IS dieting. That’s it. She has nothing else. I hate what diets have done to my mum.

smile sweetly and say 'jolly good'. If bore-woman persists, just say flat out that diets always fail and food jabber is really boring.

with luck that will mean she stops talking to you, result! Don't worry about being rude, this kind of shit needs to stop.

That’s not normal is it ? I mean if I feel like a piece of toast but someone has 2 because 1 won’t fill them up then I’m not in shock .
My dd is naturally skinny regularly eats 4 pieces of toast for breakfast but that’s it usually till tea time . We all have different appetites.
In my experience those on diets are constantly hungry and constantly thinking about their next meal and usually eat more than a non dieter. Probably some jealousy op that they assume you eat a lot more but maintain your weight.

Can you go to meals at seperate times? Just answer 'yeah' to every comment? Put in headphones? I wouldn't care about being rude to someone like this. I've lost a considerable amount of weight and I work with mainly women who constantly talk about the gym, what they eat, how many points everything has. When we went back to work, as a pp, my weight loss was so dramatic it was a constant fascination in the breakroom, what I was eating, what was it in, did I finish all of it. I found it relentless, not rude, just annoying. I just went into lunch later or ate at my desk. Don't miss them at all as they aren't friends. Try a few different things out for your own sake, what do her feelings matter here? Her problem isn't your problem to solve.

I am obviously anorexic, several stone under weight. But I have been for a long time and it has sadly become a way of life. I never mention weight or shape. Mine or anyone else’s. I had one colleague who was always desperate to tell me what she had, or more often hadn’t, eaten. Continually telling me how she’d skipped dinner, only had a salad for lunch, wasn’t going to have a biscuit, chocolate etc. The thing was she used to eat all these things when I wasn’t around or didn’t think I would see. If she ate as little as she claimed to see would have been rapidly losing weight yet she was significantly overweight and her weight never seemed to visibly change.
To start with I was massively triggered by this, to the point it was becoming a problem. What helped was confiding in a colleague, who was the one that pointed out this behaviour was only on display in front of me. From then on I simply ignored her when she made any mention of food and when she turned down a chocolate would make an effort to have one and comment on how nice it was. If she wanted to miss out, that was up to her.

I used to work in a hairdressers and they all did this
They seemed to live on Herbalife shakes and they’d talk to clients endlessly about calories and how to avoid them-one broke up with her boyfriend as he couldn’t take not being able to eat out and he couldn’t sit back and watch her kill herself
I was the fattest of them all-a size 14 which in their eyes might as well have been the size of the moon
First day-I pulled out a pasta salad and the intake of breath from the other 4 was really off putting
I then had to listen to crap like ‘carbs are evil’ and ‘that’ll go on your hips’
I really didn’t care-food was fuel and it wasn’t me who kept fainting from lack of it
I lasted a month-they all kept feeding each other the idea that food was evil
What scared me is two where teenagers-if I’d got wind either of my daughters had that pressure at work then I’d have been taking steps to help them find another job

“Please stop commenting on my food”

Every time

If it continues, “please stop commenting on my food, this is creating an unpleasant work atmosphere and i will have to speak to HR about it”

What would happen if you satirised her? E.g. "Oh, I couldn't normally eat a whole boiled egg, but I haven't eaten for a month and I need to keep my energy levels up! After this I'll probably be good till Christmas."

Reply like that every single time. If she tries to argue, just say something even more ridiculous ("No, no, in fact now you mention it, I haven't eaten for three months!") Channel Donald Trump. Look blankly at her if she produces evidence to the contrary. It'll be mildly fun for you, and deeply unsatisfying and frustrating for her.

So after speaking to the management again they have agreed to stagger the mealtimes. Also going to grey rock her every time food is mentioned.
As we work with vulnerable service users her behaviour is bordering on unprofessional.

Well done, OP! You were brave to tackle it, but I hope it sends a message that it's not healthy to behave like that and shouldn't be something you have to tolerate.

I hope you enjoy your lunch now!