DRY HARD 2 - DRY HARDER! Dry January continued. All welcome.

[HPLikecraft]

Shiny new thread to see us through to end of the month... possibly beyond!

KOKOing everyone.

Morning all!

Hope you’ve slept well.

I’m going to post more fully later, but just thought I’d tell you that in the last 20 minutes we’ve reached the 75% mark!

Also, someone has accidentally revived last years DJ thread 2 in chat, so make sure you post in the right place. 🙂

This is what they posted, it looks interesting:

For anyone who may be finding this tough and wants to know more about the neurobiology of what alcohol does to the brain, check out this non judgmental article... I have stuck to not drinking but the effects on my brain and body have been tough, even if I am not at the stages described in this article. But feels good to be getting off the heavy drinking alcohol train, and reading this really helped me remember I am doing the right thing

www.candi.nhs.uk/news/unhealthy-mix-between-alcohol-and-mental-health

I gave trying to read the book I was not getting on with and downloaded Annie Grace's This Naked Mind instead. It seems more readable and less annoying to me, despite the peppy positivity (maybe that's what I need?)

I didn't get on with Annie Grace due to the American cheerleader approach (I know she's Canadian). I'm too much of a cynical Brit.

I'll go through my kindle later and post a few books I've enjoyed.

May I join you? I've only just seen this thread.

I have lapsed 3 times though.

About 10 days ago had a really rough patch of insomnia, had one glass of wine. A glass of wine to celebrate Biden's inauguration. And last night when DH was cooking dinner and announced it would not be ready until 9 pm (we usually eat at 7.30) I had a glass of wine. Partly to stop DH from drinking the whole bottle which he has been doing since I stopped.

Which seems a bit counterproductive.

The Outrun by Amy Liptrot. It's not really "sober lit". It's a book about a young woman from Orkney who moves to a city and descends into alcoholism. She returns to Orkney to recover. The book is a beautiful description of life in Orkney and her adventures as she volunteers for a bird charity and takes up wild swimming. She also reflects on her past and inherited mental health problems that are likely to have been a factor in her alcoholism. It's about the contrast between city and country and the restorative power of nature. It's a beautiful book.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed. I believe this is a book but I have only seen the film.

Its autobiographical, Cheryl is a woman struggling with addiction, trauma being a factor in this. She decides to walk the Pacific Crest trail (PCT) from California to Washington. The film is worth watching for the stunning scenery of the PCT. It is also a journey of self discovery for the author. Wild is on Netflix and I'd say it's worth a watch. Not just for those of us who are reflecting on our drinking habits, it's a really beautiful film.

Last Orders - Andy McIntyre.

I'm in a rush as I'm heading out for a walk before it rains. So here's the description from Amazon. I liked this one as it's not preachy, more practical.

Last Orders: A Drinker's Guide to Sobriety began as a things to do when sober handbook, but evolved into a humorous and deeply personal account of what giving up drink is like socially, emotionally and physically, and a commentary on attitudes to drinking within the work-hard-play-hard culture of the 21st Century. In a non-preachy, accessible style it covers: - How to maintain and improve your social life - How to be fun and sober: discovering the real you - Alternative uses of leisure time, covering dozens of activities - Benefits to your health, wealth and work - The real roots and costs of heavy drinking - Finding love - Discovering a satisfying and fulfilling overall quality of life

75%. Wow. Had a real ' I want a drink' moment on Friday evening after a crappy day at work but rushed off and cleaned my teeth as a beer tastes disgusting after toothpaste! Didn't cave, but it was a real reminder that my drinking like my eating is all linked to negative emotions. I don't have a drink to celebrate particularly but I do have one to drown my sorrows. And there've been a lot of sorrows this year.

That's probably a bigger revelation to me than to some of you! Last night was much easier as I'd had a nice day walking and pottering. I guess this is why I've never been able to just drink at the weekend - that's not when I get miserable.

Going to keep going after January - half of me thinking I might just run it into Lent and not drink til Easter. Suggested to DH that we keep going until we can have an actual drink in our local pub - he wasn't as horrified as I'd expected but then read something suggesting it might be May. Now that does seem a long time!

it was a real reminder that my drinking like my eating is all linked to negative emotions. I don't have a drink to celebrate particularly but I do have one to drown my sorrows. And there've been a lot of sorrows this year.

I'm beginning to realise this. My drinking is linked to stress, particularly work stress. That's why I had terrible cravings on Friday but not on Saturday.

@thinkofablinkingnamewoman

Now that I've realised this, I need to come up with something else to deal with stress. I'm not attracted to crafts (I know some people do crochet and knitting to deal with stress). I think for me it will be something more active - gyms and pools are shut though and it's too bloody icy to go for a run.

Very nearly caved last night. There seems to be such an ingrained notion in me that if I'm not drinking on a weekend day then I'm missing out?

Had a couple of AF gin and tonics in a wine glass in the end to satisfy that need in me - almost feels like I enjoy the ceremony of it all? Does that make any sense? I'm not saying any of this behaviour is the right way to handle it and I know I should have just had a squash but I just needed to talk myself down a bit and actually using the wineglass got me over it. Had a bath and some dinner and then it was fine.

Already got a fleeting thought coming over me today that I might have a glass of wine with my roast tonight. I keep dismissing it but it's there I know....

Moderation for me looks like strict adherence to under 20 units a week. If I can't do it then my next move is to switch to only 1 day a week that I can have alcohol and that's it. If that doesn't work then we'll, I have my answer don't I.

I'm hoping it's achievable for me though and I think these self imposed 'rules' will help

1 - Sticking to no alcohol in the week
2 - Not buying white wine or fizz/champagne anymore - I find it too easy to glug the whole bottle. Champagne only on special occasions.
3 - Continuing to track my units on Drinkaware app which I've been doing since October
4 - Paying more attention to that initial trigger to pour myself a drink and instead of just instantly doing it try something different first and employ some of the tactics I've been focusing on this month.

Thanks for the book recommendations, Dugee! I would say I'm a fairly cynical creature myself, but years of therapy have worn some holes into it, I think! Or at least made me think that it's at times beneficial to expose myself to things and people a bit less cynical. I'll still roll my eyes often enough privately, but try to look past it sometimes. My main worry was that I'd not get on with American authors, because the American cultural relationship with alcohol can seem quite foreign, strange and black and white at times. Then again, nuance seems as difficult as moderation to me, too, right now.

I've had a very industrious day of it so far. Even finally got the Christmas tree and decorations put away. DH is furiously updating CVs and writing cover letters. We're both feeling grumpy, and kind of staying out of each others' way. Might order a take away, for the first time this month. We only usually do after a certain amount of drinks. Who knows, maybe our favourites will taste rubbish when we're sober?

Thanks @Dugee I might watch Wild tonight.

Oh that's interesting @BrassicaBabe, 100 days would take me just a few days past my birthday. Can't decide if that feels like a good thing or not at the moment!

I really enjoyed Wild, hope you do too @SittinOnTheDockOfTheBay.

I have realised a nice glass and a slice of lemon or lime helps to make a drink, even just tap water, feel a bit nicer.

Thanks for the new stats @HPLikecraft. 75% is pretty good going, isn't it? Especially as i have been so close to giving in.

I also read your link OP. Sobering reading. Interesting too how detailed the article was, about negative impact has on the brain. But the most important bit for me, the bit on how to stop drinking / being dependent (am I?) on it, is given just two lines:

*Third, the hard work begins. Learning to deal with emotions and rebuilding a life without alcohol.

This last stage is the hardest, and this is why relapses are common and simply part and parcel of the progress out of addiction.*

Not one single statement as to how to help not drink !!! I appreciate there is no quick fix, no magic wand, just will power. And that's in short supply !!

My drinking is also linked to emotions Think, mainly negative. I am trying to understand what could replace that feeling. Aside from chocolate! Touch and contact with other people very high on my list. I have a DH but obvs need to address this part of our relationship

Keep strong this evening everyone!

My main worry was that I'd not get on with American authors, because the American cultural relationship with alcohol can seem quite foreign, strange and black and white at times.

I agree with this, maybe to do with Puritan origins or prohibition.

I have caved. I was bored. Had 2 bottles. X

Beer, wine or gin @Amdone123 No worries. Back on it tomorrow?

Amdone123 back on it again tomorrow then. Lapses are allowed. Two bottles of what? I hope not wine, or you'll have a killer head tomorrow.

I very nearly had a drink earlier too. I was pouring my now usual glass of tonic water and the thought 'feck it- I'll just add some of my beautiful Rhubarb and ginger gin to it' crossed my mind. I did resist but for some reason this weekend has been quite difficult. I'm in a grumpy, low mood and just want a drink. I keep telling myself that it won't make me happier when I wake up tomorrow. I don't want to ruin it now after all this progress.
Moderation for me I think will be to stick to weekends and not to drink alcohol just because that's what we do at 8pm on a Friday night. I will continue to keep soft drinks in the house and ask myself if a can of coke would be good enough before automatically pouring wine. Mindful drinking lol

Another dry day here. Steak for dinner tonight which is normally paired with a nice red wine, so that was a good test and we passed :) tomorrow I'm cooking beef bourguignon so that will be another challenge. Determined to make it to the end of the month though. Also I realised today that lent starts on the 15th Feb, so I might push through till then and continue giving up for lent, that would take us to Easter. Not sure yet, but I'm thinking about it.

Day 24 for me. I plan on drinking again on the 1st Feb, then just Fridays and Saturdays after that, with one alcohol free weekend per month x

Checking in. Feeling a bit wired as have been trying to work out finances of various hypothetical job situations taking account of tax, pensions, possible relocation and various other things that may of may not happen. Have stayed dry. Am knackered even though had stellar night of sleep. Probably a) becasue is v late and b) because am feeling rather stressed by all the undertainty of job/ not job scenario.

Hopefully will calm down tomorrow

Sorry for typos