To the neighbour who just stole my Deliveroo...

[robbedofmyburger]

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money (because it all went on the burger)... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my Deliveroo go now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you... and I will kill let everyone know that you're a thieving arsehole.

P.S. I watched you accept the order but couldn't approach you because I'm shielding and was waiting for you to simply point the driver in the right direction. I know who you are. WHO DOES THAT!?!?!! YOU PSYCHOPATH.

P.P.S. I tried to flag down the delivery man AND called his number but it wasn't a real one. Just in case anyone asks. (Nobody will ask).

Yes, this does deserve it's own thread. I JUST WANTED A FUCKING BURGER AND NOW EVERYWHERE ELSE IS CLOSED.

P.P.P.S. I reaaaaally hope you're on Mumsnet, burger thief. I hope the guilt made it taste vile.

[smoothchange]

I watched you accept the order but couldn't approach you because I'm shielding

You wouldn't have had to get any closer then you would have to the delivery driver

[OnceUponAMidnightBeery]

@Robbybobtail

To be fair, the delivery man may have had the wrong address or something so palmed it off on your neighbours or as a pp said they could’ve ordered too and accepted it mistakenly? I’ve had that happen to me.

Or they could just be theiving greedy bastard CF’s. Pop a dog shit through their letterbox in the dead of night?

Is there any way you could put a dog shit in a burger bun and pretend to be a deliveroo driver?

Asking for a friend 😂

[Frownette]

I don't understand why you didn't open the front door and yell at them?

[Gliblet]

@OnceUponAMidnightBeery

[GarlicSoup]

@underneaththeash

Why didn’t you video on phone and call police?

Give over

[hansgrueber]

I feel much the same about the thieving b who took delivery of my granddaughter's birthday present. My saving grace is that it is a game for hifghly intelligent people so you'll be lost!
By the way, crazyuncle.com investigated it with Royal Mail and then sent her another one, thanks folks.

[TheNestedIf]

1: Buy the cheapest, nastiest burgers you can from whichever supermarket.

2: Leave one out in a warm place for a week until it smells like Death's teenage brother.

3: Post it through their letterbox, preferably at a time when it won't be removed immediately.

4: Keep a rolling supply so that you can keep posting one a day for ever and ever and ever and ever....

[LagneyandCasey]

We need more details.

What time was this?
Why did you assume it was your delivery?
Did you call deliveroo and get it sorted?
What burger was it?
Fries?

[CodenameVillanelle]

@JustPassingByCarryOn

Sorry OP but this is what you remined me of. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

Yeah I think that's what she was going for

[Cherrysoup]

Could you not have shouted? Shielding, ok, but I’d be on the doorstep screaming!

[Fiftyandmore]

I think you should phone the police op and let us listen in:

Police: How can I help you madam?
Op: I'd like to report a burger missing please ...

[TinySongstress]

It probably took twice as long to come on Mumsnet and write this post than it would have to call out of your window/front door 'cooeee! Mr Deliveroo! Over here!'

[Remxhah126]

Damnit! This thread has made me crave a burger.

[Frownette]

@Cherrysoup me too, I'd be like a slavering beast until I'd dragged it into my lair

[Cherrysoup]

Ha, @Frownette, I’d have been screaming!

[YouBoughtMeAWall]

@Fiftyandmore

I think you should phone the police op and let us listen in:

Police: How can I help you madam?
Op: I'd like to report a burger missing please ...

This reminds me of the woman who phoned the police because someone stole her snowman.

Police: ma’am is there any chance you could have eaten the burger?

[BorderlineHappy]

So you are shielding but tried to flag the driver.

Why not go over and say from the end of their drive that it was your delivery.

[unicornpoopoop]

This happened to us but we were the food thief...

Door went and son answered it and had assumed we must have ordered food so accepted it and then came to give it to us. We quickly ran to the door but he was gone. No clues on the food as to who it was from. We knocked on all the neighbours doors but none of them had ordered.

Over an hour later delivery driver comes back and asks for the food back and also asks if we know where the address is that he was meant to take it to as apparently he was going to redeliver it to the correct place

[GabsAlot]

you should have opened your door and just shouted out are you delivering for number....? whatever you are

you wouldnt be anywhere near anybody u wouldnt have had to lick him

[Fiftyandmore]

Police: Do you know anyone who may have a grudge against your burger madam?

[Fiftyandmore]

Sorry - I'm laughing at the imaginary convo between op and the police :)

[YesIDoLoveCrisps]

I would rather someone kidnapped my husband than my burger and chips. I would be livid.

[Fiftyandmore]

It won't be long though before the police track the burger and the burger thieves though - they'll be doing door-to-door soon.

[hamishpottery]

Something similar happened to me and I found it really quite upsetting! Particularly in the times we are in.

I would honestly phone Deliveroo and say that you didn't receive you meal, and get a refund or another delivered.

[Henio]

@BlackeyedSusan

sneak out in the middle of the night and write burger thief in chalk on the pavement outside their house. or leave a big fuck off burger thief poster under their windscreen wipers.

🤣 how funny would it be if op order was just accidentally forgotten and she did this to her neighbour who innocently ate their own takeaway