My brother has died

[twinklespells]

He was 31. The police have said no suspicious circumstances. He struggled with his mental health. I have no idea how to get through the next few days. I'm worried about my mum and myself and how I'll cope looking after DD when I'm so upset. She's six months and never even got to meet him.

And it goes without saying that I’m desperately sorry for the loss of your dear brother xx

Sending you and your mother love and sympathy, OP.

Some people find it helpful to write down memories of the person they loved who died. If you wish, you could do this both for yourself and for DD -- experiences you and your brother shared, wise or funny things he said, your earliest memory of him, things you loved about him ...

Mumsnet's Bereavement board is sure to be helpful too.

Look after yourself and hopefully sleep comes easy. I lost my twin in October and my lg was born last February. You feel like you have to keep going, and you will. But take up any and all offers of help - 30 mins for a time out and bath or a neighbour dropping off a socially distanced dinner. The practical side of things will take up your next few weeks, especially if the coroner is involved. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your closest friend and don't be surprised if you're irrationally angry. Thinking of you and your family

So very sorry for your loss Xxx

Just wanted to let you know how sorry I was to read this. So very sad. Hope you sleep well, thinking of you x

I’m so sorry you’re going through this- losing someone in this was is an unimaginable traumatic experience. I hope you can get support from those around you.

I'm so sorry for your loss

So sorry to hear that. How awful.

You poor thing. I dread the call like this, my brother also struggles greatly with poor MH.

My heart goes out to you.

One hour at a time. X

Thank you everyone. We hope to find more out from the police today. We don't know much apart from they said no suspicious circumstances. Apparently if it was obviously suicide they would have said. My godmum said one of her friends died sat on the sofa one evening in her 50s and they never found a cause of death, and not to assume suicide until we know.

I feel so sad to think of him on his own. And the thought of a post mortem really upsets me. He lived in a shared house so he couldn't have a pet but he loved animals so much. I'm probably projecting because I've always had a pet and live with my DH and DD so not been on my own. I think he did like his own company. But he's completely on his own now isn't he. I know lots of people think people have 'gone' from their body when they've died. For some reason I don't feel like that and I still feel that it's 'him'. Is there a way to try and think otherwise? I know he will be free from any pain now. I just hope so much he wasn't in pain yesterday.

It seems it may have been covid. He had rung an ambulance as he was struggling to breathe, but when they got to the house the door was locked so they broke in. He was on the living room sofa and they were too late to save him.

Heartbroken that he wanted help and it didn't get there fast enough. Wishing we had spoken to him and knew he was unwell, maybe we could have done something.

And now feeling so awful for thinking he lost his life to suicide.

I’m so sorry it’s such a sad thing to happen.

I lost my brother a few years ago, he’d had a difficult time and it is heartbreaking. I’m glad you have your daughter, but can you call on some child care help right now to have a break? Thanks

So sorry. I don't really know what they mean when they say no suspicious circumstances. But it must be such a shock to lose him at such a young age. Sending love

That's incredibly sad.
I'm so sorry

You are not to blame for any of your feelings, you can't control them and I think a lot of people think suicide when it is a person dying suddenly. Please just be kind to yourself you have had an awful shock. So, so sorry

Thank you everybody. It's hard to know what to do with myself and talking helps, although I know I can't talk and have to sit with my feelings sometimes.

My daughter only sleeps on me and is quite upset if she can't see me the last 24 hours. Knowing the possibility of my brother having died to covid I feel terrified of letting anybody near us right now. What if it happens to someone else etc. I went to see my mum and my other brother today. We wore masks but I let them hold her. I felt like everybody needed it. It's so hard not being able to hug people, and not being able to make anything better.

So sorry for your loss OP, May your brother rest in peace. Take it easy on yourself

Just wanted to say how very sorry I am.
I have lit a candle for your brother - an insignificant silly gesture but something my grandma used to do.
Be kind to yourself.