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Original poster

Has anyone’s dd NOT had the HPV vaccine at 12/13?

94 replies

Getbusywiththefizzie · 14/01/2021 10:08

A couple of dd’s friends are having their first hpv vaccine today.
I have had an in-depth conversation with her about the vaccine and what it does and how it will protect her in the future so she fully understands that it is the best thing for her future health and she has agreed to have it in a year or so.
She says she just isn’t ready for it yet.
Has anyone’s dd put off their vaccine at this age and had it done at a later date?

OP posts:
starsinyourpies · 14/01/2021 12:57

My DSIS died from cervical cancer. We were at school before the vaccine roll out. Please make sure she gets it.

Turnedouttoes · 14/01/2021 12:58

I was the first year group to be offered it and turned it down as I believed the scaremongering that the long term effects weren’t yet known.
I really wish I’d had it. And I say that as a severe emetophobe myself, it’s very unlikely to make her sick but chemotherapy for cervical cancer definitely would!

grey12 · 14/01/2021 12:59

I understand that phobias can be paralysing. But that is a stupid idea and you shouldn't be allowing your daughter's fear to cripple her!! So now ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING will cause her to vomit?! What's next? No school exams? No driving lessons? Anything that is slightly scary?

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SoggyBiscuitss · 14/01/2021 13:06

I am currently awaiting a full hysterectomy at the age of 34 due to HPV turning into cervical cancer.
So I would definitely urge your daughter to get it.

However, I’m aware they have up to the age of something like 20 to get it done.

Theforest · 14/01/2021 13:06

Thanks for reminding me on this. boys get this too now don't they.
DS was year 8 last year and didn't hear anything. Probably because of lockdown.

FunnyItWorkedLastTime · 14/01/2021 13:26

I’m in the process of getting DS vaccinated privately at Boots because he’s a year too old for the NHS roll out to boys. It’s costing 450 quid and it’s an absolute PITA (to be fair the pandemic isn’t helping). I think you need to explain to her that “just do it next year” isn’t a thing.

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/01/2021 13:27

There would have been no argument with my mum, If something needed to be done it was done.

Hpv leads to cancer so it’s not an optional thing.

formerbabe · 14/01/2021 13:30

@Theforest

Thanks for reminding me on this. boys get this too now don't they. DS was year 8 last year and didn't hear anything. Probably because of lockdown.
My ds is year 8 and got his done last term.

Op...I have never heard of vomiting as being a side effect of the jab. My ds was fine afterwards. I think the more you pander to this, the worse her anxiety will get.

FionatheCat · 14/01/2021 13:30

My dd and ds have not had it. Cant go into exact reasons as it’s very specific and possibly outing
I did however give them all the information, explained my position but that if they wanted to override my decision that was fine they were allowed to as it’s their body and their choice.
They both said as they have been fully vaccinated they knew there must be a good reason I was hesitant. Dd declined and ds asked to speak to a member of the school nursing team on the day- he wasn’t sure and wanted to speak to a hcp he said she was so off and forceful and dismissive that he couldn’t ask the questions he wanted to so didn’t go ahead.

BertieBotts · 14/01/2021 13:33

My sister didn't have it, my mum was a bit worried about vaccines at the time so she didn't push it at all.

I would check whether there's an age cut off where you have to have 3 doses rather than 2 as I think that is 12 at least for boys where I live (don't know if different for girls/if there are different versions of it).

As long as she has it before becoming sexually active then it will be as effective.

FionatheCat · 14/01/2021 13:33

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel

Isn't ready for it? How did she feel about her pre-school jabs?! Confused
You can say that but one of mine we took him for these aged 3 he screamed so much they nurse refused to do it !!! Said it had to be delayed as she had never seen a child so distressed and wouldn’t do it even when we said we would hold him still ! He got it done 18 months later when he could go without screaming and fighting
LagneyandCasey · 14/01/2021 13:40

If you let the clinic or school know of her vomiting phobia they will be able to make provision for her - extra time, not having to wait in a queue with others, the chance to sit for a while afterwards etc. She could wear headphones and not look at the needle which might help. I know it's hard for her but it's so important that she gets protected. I think theres a tetanus booster in year 11 and the meningitis vaccine in college. She might also need blood tests if she gets poorly or might want to travel and need vaccines for that so it's important she finds a way to get through having it done.

movingonup20 · 14/01/2021 14:03

My Dd1 didn't because it was a different one then, not sure how effective it is either. Far better to be careful

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 14/01/2021 14:19

That wasn't really my point! My point was that kids don't get to be in charge of such decisions for a good reason.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/01/2021 14:33

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel

That wasn't really my point! My point was that kids don't get to be in charge of such decisions for a good reason.
They literally are in charge of making the decision. Under Gillick Competency the DD will be able to make her decision which the parent can’t override. It’s usually the parent saying no and the child then consents and receives the vaccine, but it could work the other way round. As far as I remember the consent form makes this clear.
IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 14/01/2021 14:36

Yes I was thinking that as I was typing Grin

I just can't get my head around just...letting this slide, that's all.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/01/2021 14:38

Anyway, in answer to your question, my DDs had the HPV vaccine delayed because we were living abroad at the time they would have been given the first jabs. We were due back before the second dose would be administered so couldn’t start the vaccine program in the country we were in as they used a different type to the NHS. So we were allowed to have it done at the GP when we came back to the UK. As DD1 was over 15 she had to have three doses as opposed to the usual two. Other than that, no issues. However, we were allowed to do that because of circumstances rather than because we refused the first time round so not sure what happens in the case of you refusing and then asking for it at a later date.

Sooverthemill · 14/01/2021 14:38

I think you should strongly encourage her to have it done at the same time as her peers and support her along with your GP with her emetiphobia .

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 14/01/2021 14:45

@HappyFlamingo

I agree with previous posters. Your DD is below the age of medical consent, so it is up to you as a parent to make the decision for her.
There is no age of medical consent in the UK. Just Google the term Gillick competence.
Idaofmarch · 14/01/2021 14:53

@GeorgiaOQueef

No, I didn't put my DD's off but she missed her second one in school and I have not been able to find anywhere that will do it privately. GP told me it can only be done at school. Once we can travel we will have to find somewhere in England. I'm happy to pay but private healthcare isn't really a thing here and she has missed the boat with school.
My GP does them. This post triggered me to book her in for her booster as it's 18 months since the first (should be a max of 2 years between doses). They were happy to.
Oneearringlost · 14/01/2021 15:03

OP,
Does your daughter daughter fear vomiting after it because she thinks the anxiety about it will make her sick, or that it is a side effect of the vaccine. If it is the latter, then you can reasurre her completely that vomiting is NOT a side effect.
If the former, then, yes, she needs counselling support for anxiety and the more discrete symptom of emetaphobia itself.
A robust reasrrance from you is essential.
It is v v hard to access the vaccine outside the schedule window, and she'll need an extra dose if she is older.
Do not give her the responsibility for "choosing" whether or not to have it. It should not be an opt in or opt out, or " maybe I'll delay for a little while" issue.
She needs you to be taking that responsibility.

Chimeraforce · 14/01/2021 15:10

I was worrying about this last year. DD started Y9 in September and I had cin results aged under 20. So I had laser treatment cone biopsy to remove the affected cells. Decades ago, when they still tested under 20s.
So, that could affect my DD.
luckily, our NHS organised an external clinic at a community centre for the Y9 schools 👍 DD had her first jab last week and the 2nd is expected in July. She turns 15 in September.

Chimeraforce · 14/01/2021 15:11

BTW, she was fine. Fingers x she remains so.

Kitkat151 · 14/01/2021 15:12

@GlobeUs

Your DD cannot believe the gravity of her future health and protection of her future health at 12/13. You need to step up and be the parent here.
This ^
TalesTheCat · 14/01/2021 15:32

At the age of 21 I had abnormal cells. Luckily I was tested then, Probably due to childbirth, as the age is now 25. If I'd had the smear at 25 it could have been cancer. I explained this to my daughter and even tho she is terrified of needles she decided it was better than what I had has done (lletz? I think that'd what it's called) I just wish it had been available when I was a teen.