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Original poster

Any cat owners around? Handhold, please (and advice, if you've got any)

69 replies

SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 20:08

Posting in Chat for traffic. Sorry if this thread turns into a long-winded pouring of my heart out, just feeling extremely overwhelmed!

I have an 18-year-old with several health problems including kidney disease, incontinence, arthritis and neuropathy, and it's becoming an absolute nightmare to look after him. 80% of the day is taken up trying to get him to eat, medicating him 3x a day, changing litter trays, cleaning up accidents on the carpet of my rented house 😔, changing out leaked-on puppy pads (which are covering most of the house at this point), laundering beds and showering him because he's pooed and fallen in it (is it classed as TMI if it's a cat?!). The other 20% I spend cleaning and feeding myself and doing the rest of the housework, and I barely have a second to breathe in between.

He's the love of my life, medicated as I mentioned, not in pain and otherwise happy - so happy, in fact, that he still plays games - so getting rid or having him put to sleep are not an option, but I'm getting to my wit's end with it all and don't know what to do to make the situation more manageable.

I suppose this is mostly just a rant and a cry for sympathy, since I'm already taking all the precautions (I think?!) I possibly can, but if anyone has any pearls of wisdom I'm all ears!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 12/01/2021 21:04

I'm a lifelong cat owner, currently have five, and although I deeply sympathise, you are not doing the best thing for your poor cat right now. I guarantee your cat is miserable and in discomfort. Their quality of life is gone, and that is very distressing for them. I mean this as gently as possible, but the only reason you haven't put this poor cat to sleep is for yourself. I understand and I've been there many times with my beloved pets over the years, but you need to do the right thing and have them put to sleep.

tootyfruitypickle · 12/01/2021 21:53

Just seen your cat isn’t eating well- mine ate well right up the last moment. I do think that is a key indicator to consider - I struggled because she ate so well and I and always thought appetite would be the decider. The day before she was violently sick and that’s when I decided enough was enough - confirmed in the morning when her kidney infection was back.

I think if his appetite is bad I would say goodbye. Go onto the litter tray board, everyone is lovely there and helped me so much before and ad after .

Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 21:59

@tootyfruitypickle His appetite for his renal diet food is almost non-existent, but he'll happily still wolf down regular cat food.

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Cats
Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 21:59

*still happily

OP posts:
tootyfruitypickle · 12/01/2021 22:01

Ah yes mine was the same. That’s good then. In the end she just had Sheba - top tip! She never ever stopped eating that.

tootyfruitypickle · 12/01/2021 22:03

I totally gave up on renal food.
In case it helps - I put oil in her food to help her poo to make it less work to push out . Sardines in oil or you can get liquid petroleum . Don’t syringe it in to his mouth it has to go on food. But go easy.

tootyfruitypickle · 12/01/2021 22:08

Mine was never incontinent except when on one type of medication for blood pressure (we changed jt ). It might be worth a phone chat with the vet about how things are working ? Try the clinical lead. I don’t think I would have kept going if she’d been incontinent permanently as it was unmanageable for the short time she was. Flowers

Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:08

His favourite is Felix, loves the stuff! I've read it has one of the highest quantities of phosphorus of any of the popular cat food brands, though, which is bad for the kidneys - and it definitely shows, because he'll pee at least twice as often on a day he has it Sad

OP posts:
captainprincess · 12/01/2021 22:09

I am sorry to hear this, it's really hard to let them go but you are keeping him alive for you, not for him.
A week too soon is better than a day too late, as others have said.
Think how distressing it would be for you, and him, if you had to rush him to the vets to be pts because he suddenly became seriously ill. Wouldn't it be nicer to arrange a day when you can actually say goodbye.

Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:10

The vet thinks the incontinence is probably due to the neuropathy. He went on a course of antibiotics just in case it was an infection, but nothing seems to have improved with those, unfortunately.

OP posts:
Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:10

^ @tootyfruitypickle

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 12/01/2021 22:10

If he is still playing then surely he does have some quality of life? I know cats are dignified and he will be upset by the incontinence but if he is still eating that's a good thing. It's an awful situation for you

Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:12

That was my feeling, @user1471538283, although I'm seriously reconsidering things after reading most of these replies...

OP posts:
Santaiscovidfree · 12/01/2021 22:12

My dm's vet too £998 off my dm for tests for a similar aged dcat.
Branded it all old age and took another 100 off her to pts...
Angry

Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:15

Don't get me started on the vet, @Santaiscovidfree Biscuit

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Crunchymum · 12/01/2021 22:16

Its utterly heartbreaking to get to such a point but my 12yo girl became ill a few months ago and despite medical intervention, in the end she was unable to even take herself away under the bed. She just lay, prone, in her own urine with big eyes. I prayed she'd go in the night and sat with her but she didn't.

Vet saw us first thing the next day. It was all I could do for her in the end.

Am in bits now thinking about it, but no regrets. It was time.

Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:18

Very sorry, @Crunchymum Flowers

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Cleverpolly3 · 12/01/2021 22:20

@Crunchymum

Its utterly heartbreaking to get to such a point but my 12yo girl became ill a few months ago and despite medical intervention, in the end she was unable to even take herself away under the bed. She just lay, prone, in her own urine with big eyes. I prayed she'd go in the night and sat with her but she didn't.

Vet saw us first thing the next day. It was all I could do for her in the end.

Am in bits now thinking about it, but no regrets. It was time.

I had this with my wonderful little 12 year old girl kitten cat. So sorry. It is absolutely heartbreaking. ♥️
Crunchymum · 12/01/2021 22:21

Sorry, didn't mean to derail and it really isn't the same situation.

We knew, without doubt, it was time. Would have been so much harder if there was any uncertainty.

Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:23

The uncertainty's what's weighing on me. He's currently sat next to me on the bed, purring and chatting away while eyeing up my lap!

OP posts:
tootyfruitypickle · 12/01/2021 22:24

The only thing I’d add is that it wasn’t as bad as I feared. The actual act was absolutely fine. For the first week i really struggled with grief but I turned a corner quite quickly. I feel sad now thinking of her but it’s ok. And this cat had been with me through some severe trauma I had suffered and I was terrified of not having her but it’s been fine. Someone in the litter tray thread posted a lovely poem on my thread which helped a lot.

Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:24

@Cleverpolly3 Flowers It's especially awful when they're young and haven't lived a "full" life.

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Original poster
SwampyArmpits · 12/01/2021 22:30

Thanks for all your lovely replies, @tootyfruitypickle, they've been a comfort. My boy's been with me through a lot since he was a kitten, too, and I'm terrified of how I'll cope without him, so it's good to know you managed surprisingly well in a similar situation. I've owned quite a few cats in my lifetime - and been there when two were PTS, so I do know what to expect - but for whatever reason, this one is special.

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TibetanTerrier · 12/01/2021 23:01

I had a cat that was incontinent all her life due to a neurological problem. When she was in the house she always wore a Tesco disposable nappy. I cut a small hole for her tail to go through, and the nappies fitted her beautifully. She never seemed to notice she was wearing them and they kept her and the house clean. She wore the nappies indoors until her death from cancer at the age of 17.

Peacocking · 12/01/2021 23:19

I think that once its over you'll be devastated, but also discover that you're very very relieved. The stress that weighs on an owner at this stage is immense and its not until its over that you realise just how hard its been. You only really have the choice of muddling on as you have been - and I'm sure that if you feel your pet isn't distressed then it isn't. You know your cat. Or, call it a day before your cat starts to suffer and also because you are struggling. Its really hard physically and mentally for you. I've been there. Just be kind to yourself and trust in your choices. Don't second guess them, whatever you decide to do x