Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Friend is now full on Trump-supporting, QAnon-believing conspiracy theorist

325 replies

Offskki · 09/01/2021 14:07

I just can't believe it and I'm a bit gutted to be honest. Any advice on how to deal with this?

OP posts:
pointythings · 09/01/2021 14:19

Step away gradually into the distance. It's the only way.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 09/01/2021 14:25

Following as I have one of those, too. I’m well aware she needs good, real life friends and has probably fallen down this rabbit hole out of loneliness. She has always had poor mental health and is now being really offensive.😢

Xerochrysum · 09/01/2021 14:28

www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/

Original poster
Offskki · 09/01/2021 14:35

I’m well aware she needs good, real life friends and has probably fallen down this rabbit hole out of loneliness.

Yes, I think that's my take on it with my friend. We are "situational friends" through a running group (not currently on due to lockdown) and it wasn't loneliness that rocked her this year but a bereavement. Looking back I can see how it's escalated over the last 18 months. I just can't believe how far gone she is. Her husband is there with her :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Offskki · 09/01/2021 14:35

(I can never figure out how reddit works).

OP posts:
Branleuse · 09/01/2021 14:38

dump them.

AcornAutumn · 09/01/2021 14:45

"Her husband is there with her"

Do you mean he is there in person or believes it too?

Original poster
Offskki · 09/01/2021 14:46

Sorry, he believes too.

OP posts:
blueangel19 · 09/01/2021 14:50

Better move from this friendship. He or she is free to believe what they want. This is ( still) a free country with freedom of speech.

Original poster
Offskki · 09/01/2021 14:57

One thing she is struggling with is feeling isolated because some of her family and friends have said they don't want her joining in with X or Y because they don't want to hear about it any more. She feels this is really unfair because covid, American elections etc. are not banned for them.

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 09/01/2021 15:04

@Offskki

One thing she is struggling with is feeling isolated because some of her family and friends have said they don't want her joining in with X or Y because they don't want to hear about it any more. She feels this is really unfair because covid, American elections etc. are not banned for them.
Sorry, what do you mean "banned"?

If it's a casual friend from running, I'd just leave it.

I've got a friend who is well into all this - a friend who really helped, on a practical level, when my father died.

I'm trying to keep her off certain topics and she is fine with that. If she said "no, I insist on talking about it" I'd have to let the friendship go.

She has fallen out with many friends and family.

I think freedom of speech is important. But that doesn't mean we are obliged to sit through anything, if you see what I mean.

She listens to my opposite points of view and I think we have helped each other, but there are topics that I just don't want to discuss and she is fine when I say that.

blueangel19 · 09/01/2021 15:06

Unfortunately, the current situation does not help humanity. It may bring the worst on people. A lot of very sane people are questioning things. I can’t not imagine the people who are already gullible or young people. So many people lonely or neglected.

Kendodd · 09/01/2021 15:10

I don't really know what you can do, it's a cult, no amount of facts will more them because they won't believe them.

I really worry about these people, they're not harmless eccentrics, they're dangerous and really aren't a lot different to ISIS followers.

blueangel19 · 09/01/2021 15:16

TBH nothing terrorise me than hearing of beheadings.

MrsWooster · 09/01/2021 15:31

Life’s too short. I would say that I absolutely don’t agree with her perception /interpretation of events, that I have lost respect for her as a result and so I am going to step back from the friendship for now.

Original poster
Offskki · 09/01/2021 16:12

I was going to suggest that we just stay clear of Covid and Trump, but just before I did she told me how her friendship group had said exactly the same thing to her, and how much it hurts that she's being silenced. So I guess the subtext is that she just wants to be heard?

Googling suggests that there's no real solution. You can just distance and wait.

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 09/01/2021 16:24

You've not said of this friendship is important to you, which influences my answer

If it is, then just say politely "i can't face talking about those things, can we talk about something light hearted.?"

If you haven't even asked, you can't be sure how she would react. Don't speculate about subtext, ask.

If she says is being silenced, tell her it's no different than if you, or I, wanted to talk endlessly about art to someone who is not interested. No one is being silenced but different people want to hear about different things.

If the friendship is important, you might find you hold on to it and her beliefs change.

Kendodd · 09/01/2021 17:36

I would recommend this film to you OP, it's about flat earthers but I think gives good insight into conspiracy theories and their beliefs.

www.netflix.com/gb/title/81015076?preventIntent=true

Xerochrysum · 09/01/2021 18:46

If she isn't your close friends, it maybe better for you not to get involved. It's not easy for even really close people to help them pull out of the rabbit hole. You may end up being sucked in, if you approach them without caution.

Original poster
Offskki · 09/01/2021 18:50

We've got a bit of a natural break as we're not running at the moment. Hopefully by the time we see each other again the fact that Trump isn't going to be inaugurated this month (which she firmly believes will be the case) may have started to loosen things up a bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
Offskki · 09/01/2021 18:50

I think I may have seen that @Kendodd, but I'll check it out

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 09/01/2021 19:29

@Offskki

We've got a bit of a natural break as we're not running at the moment. Hopefully by the time we see each other again the fact that Trump isn't going to be inaugurated this month (which she firmly believes will be the case) may have started to loosen things up a bit.
Wait, wut? She thinks Trump will be inaugurated as President?!
Original poster
Offskki · 09/01/2021 19:42

Yes, he won the election and the truth will out about the fraud computers in Italy and he will be inaugurated. 100% certain of this. Just you wait.

["What will you think if he isn't?]

Well in that case the New World Order will just be in charge of everything and there'll just be chaos

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 09/01/2021 19:44

You've still not said if this a close friend

If not, then just ignore her.

AcornAutumn · 09/01/2021 19:44

Btw computers in Italy is a new one for me!