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Original poster

Venomous attitude towards non key worker kids being in school

45 replies

piiechiipspeasandgravvy · 07/01/2021 09:36

Has anyone else noticed this since schools were asked to close?

Ive witnessed it in the playground, online, group chats, people seem to constantly be questioning 'why are they in school'?

It's nobody else's business why someone has been allocated a place!

Someone I briefly chat to at pick up time was weighing everyone up yesterday, and saying what they do for a job and that their kids surely shouldn't be in school. Even commenting on what someone is dressed like means they must have been sat on their arse all day and just sending their kids in so they get a break.

My child has autism and has been given a place to ensure she doesn't fall behind her peers any more than she already is, and to give her much needed stability. I refuse to feel guilty for accepting the place because the effects from her not going to school would be astronomical. But I can't help but feel the judgment because people know I am a stay at home parent.

People seem to be losing sight of 'be kind' once again it's just sad! Some of these children could have very difficult home lives or have additional needs that means it is in their best interests to go to school.

OP posts:
THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 07/01/2021 09:39

I would not judge you for this at all op!

I do however judge those from my dcs school who have one key worker parent and a SAHP, and are sending their dc in to school just because they can

Original poster
piiechiipspeasandgravvy · 07/01/2021 09:42

@THATbasicSNOWFLAKE

I would not judge you for this at all op!

I do however judge those from my dcs school who have one key worker parent and a SAHP, and are sending their dc in to school just because they can

Yes there absolutely are piss takers I know of a few at our school.

It's just crap for everyone in different ways and I feel very sad today at the level of judgement.

Surely it's on the schools to do adequate checks and ensure only those in desperate need are allocated places.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 07/01/2021 09:43

Was she specifically judging you or are you defensive and took what she said personally?

The sooner the “be kind” bollocks dies a death the better. It wasn’t ever the law.

If you’re happy with your choices then don’t give any headspace to what this woman thinks.

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Original poster
piiechiipspeasandgravvy · 07/01/2021 09:51

@AnneLovesGilbert

Was she specifically judging you or are you defensive and took what she said personally?

The sooner the “be kind” bollocks dies a death the better. It wasn’t ever the law.

If you’re happy with your choices then don’t give any headspace to what this woman thinks.

I'm not suggesting everyone should be quoting be kind every 2 minutes. But just to give some thought to about what someone else's life could be like and that they don't have the same challenges and struggles as you before spouting shit 🤷🏼‍♀️

She wasn't specifically judging me personally but was suggesting that if you don't have 2x key workers for parents then you must be taking the piss. She did backtrack when I pointed out that vulnerable children will be in too.

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 07/01/2021 09:54

I was with you until you said there were pisstakers at your school. Surely you are just doing the same as she did by making that comment as you do not know their circumstances necessarily either.

Original poster
piiechiipspeasandgravvy · 07/01/2021 10:02

@SeasonFinale

I was with you until you said there were pisstakers at your school. Surely you are just doing the same as she did by making that comment as you do not know their circumstances necessarily either.
When I say piss takers I mean people who are open about the fact they don't need a place. But are technically eligible.
OP posts:
JustRemembering · 07/01/2021 10:05

I know someone who has taken a school place for her DC, not a key worker, but the DC were offered a place for other reasons. If the school says it's ok, and has the provisions in place, it doesn't really matter does it? People need to back off, this is hard on everyone, in different ways.

Original poster
piiechiipspeasandgravvy · 07/01/2021 10:07

@JustRemembering

I know someone who has taken a school place for her DC, not a key worker, but the DC were offered a place for other reasons. If the school says it's ok, and has the provisions in place, it doesn't really matter does it? People need to back off, this is hard on everyone, in different ways.
My point exactly! Just because people haven't stood in the playground and made an announcement about why they are bringing their kids in doesn't mean it's not genuine. It's just spiteful to be unkind about it.
OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 07/01/2021 10:12

Probably because we'll get nowhere with reducing transmission while so many DC are still at school.

There's little point closing schools and then allowing 40/50/60+% attendance. I passed our local primary at drop off time on Tuesday and it was as busy as ever. And that was after the school had been on the local news the day before because the staff thought it was unsafe to open.

I understand that its hard to balance work and childcare, but this is definitely something that needs looking at again.

LooseMooseHoose · 07/01/2021 10:12

But you are doing the same by saying there are "pisstakers" at your school. Perhaps you need to "be kind" and accept you don't know everything about their situation too.

People in difficult situations often publicly minimise them with others they don't know in order to not get too personal. Stop judging, it's nothing to do with you (or your friend) and if the school is happy to take them that is the important thing.

Throwntothewolves · 07/01/2021 10:23

You are right OP, but even those agreeing with you are saying they would judge based on people's jobs. Even THATbasicSNOWFLAKE, who is pretty much saying she would judge you if you were a stay at home parent and she didn't know of your child's autism.

No one knows others' circumstances and children's needs.
How does anyone know exactly what all other parents work as? What needs the kids have? What the parents' circumstances really are? One could be at home but seriously mentally unwell and unable to care for the kids while the other key worker parent is out at work so school, or unpaid leave/resigning is the only option, leaving them unable to pay their bills. And 'vunerable' kids can come from all different backgrounds and be considered vunerable for many reasons, they're not just the children of addicts.

So many people are jealous of others when they really have no idea what is going on in other people's lives. People need to do what is right for their own families and not concern themselves with what others do.

Hotcuppatea · 07/01/2021 10:25

Completely agree OP. The vitriol and judging on some of these threads is pretty disgusting. No one should feel shamed for taking a place they've been allocated.

WingingItSince1973 · 07/01/2021 10:32

The transmission rate will not get under control if alot of kids are in school. My mum has a lady work for her who has taken up a key worker place for her children at school because she's a part time cleaner for another school. Fair enough but she was open about having a new years eve party and other meet ups with friends and often has to be reminded to wear her mask. My mum has managed to place her away from the other ladies who work there to try and minimise the risk. Just makes me mad that people are taking these places but not taking responsibility in their day to day lives to keep transmission low, which could then be sent into schools via their kids. My mum and my sis in law who is a teacher are placing themselves at risk everyday because of these selfish people. I can understand why some people are asking the questions? Of course no body knows peoples true homelife situation but their are those taking the mick when they really dont need the place.

WorraLiberty · 07/01/2021 10:39

OP....

When I say piss takers I mean people who are open about the fact they don't need a place. But are technically eligible.

Also OP....

Just because people haven't stood in the playground and made an announcement about why they are bringing their kids in doesn't mean it's not genuine. It's just spiteful to be unkind about it.

Have you ever thought the 'piss takers' might have vulnerable children but they don't want to blab their private business, so they're telling people they don't really need a place? 🤔

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 07/01/2021 10:40

Thrown the people i was referring to are those i do know the personal situation of, and there are no SEN or guarding issues

WorraLiberty · 07/01/2021 10:41

@THATbasicSNOWFLAKE

Thrown the people i was referring to are those i do know the personal situation of, and there are no SEN or guarding issues
Unless you live behind their closed doors, you certainly don't know what goes on in their homes.

You just think you do.

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 07/01/2021 11:01

When i am related to them i can be pretty sure

WorraLiberty · 07/01/2021 11:04

No you really can't

How many times have couples split up and when the gory details come out, people say they had no idea?

Honestly, parents shouldn't be judging other parents for sending their kids to school at the moment. As long as the school are happy with it, that should be the end of it.

BogRollBOGOF · 07/01/2021 11:20

People would probably think I'm taking the piss if I could get DS1 in... as it happens we're in well the second hour of the first lesson of the day with him in a rumbling meltdown and managing 2 minutes before I have to send him off for 15 minutes to calm down while trying to spoonfeed a 7yo at the same time.

Three diagnosed SENs is apparantly not sufficient to qualify for an appropriate education, even when they submitted not a jot of work from Mar-July. Hmm

2020CanDoOne · 07/01/2021 11:23

I am totally with you OP. Same situation here Flowers

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 07/01/2021 11:31

Our school actually arent happy with it, they are currently trying to work out who genuinely needs the places as they have such high numbers trying to access

muddyellowdog · 07/01/2021 11:36

@Hotcuppatea

Completely agree OP. The vitriol and judging on some of these threads is pretty disgusting. No one should feel shamed for taking a place they've been allocated.
They should feel ashamed if they're sending their kids in when they are working from home or there is a parent working from home. Non key workers are expected to home school and work full time. School's are meant to be closed to stop the spread of Covid. I really hope we get yet another u-turn on the definition of a key worker.
Hotcuppatea · 07/01/2021 11:38

@muddyellowdog neither you or anyone else on these boards should be setting themselves up as judge and jury. You have no idea what peoples circumstances are.

borntohula · 07/01/2021 11:39

I could not care less what other people say, my dc were offered places even though I'm not a keyworker and I'm glad of it. I think some people are bitter because they know their kids are better off in school but for whatever reason, they can't be. It's yet another example of the whole situation bringing out the absolute worst in people.

MillieVanilla · 07/01/2021 11:41

We experienced this last time.

Our DD was offered a place directly by her absolutely wonderful headteacher. She was year 8 now year 9. She had been struggling so much, was tearful, erratic and had done very little work.
Her head rang us to check in and I mentioned my concerns, she spoke to DD and she then asked me, would you like me to let her back 3 days a week. DD was so much better off and caught up with quite a bit, she even made some other year group friends. It also allowed us to have a break and to concerned on her younger DS.
We would do it again now as it's been offered but the new strain is putting us off. Her DS and DP are both vulnerable so we are trying to avoid it.
We got "oh, when was your job Keyworkers status" "why is DD in school? She isn't Sen?" In the end I got so pissed off with it I posted on the chat it was on to them to mind their sodding business and concentrate on their own bloody offspring. Didn't get a word after that!

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