Venomous attitude towards non key worker kids being in school

[piiechiipspeasandgravvy]

Has anyone else noticed this since schools were asked to close?

Ive witnessed it in the playground, online, group chats, people seem to constantly be questioning 'why are they in school'?

It's nobody else's business why someone has been allocated a place!

Someone I briefly chat to at pick up time was weighing everyone up yesterday, and saying what they do for a job and that their kids surely shouldn't be in school. Even commenting on what someone is dressed like means they must have been sat on their arse all day and just sending their kids in so they get a break.

My child has autism and has been given a place to ensure she doesn't fall behind her peers any more than she already is, and to give her much needed stability. I refuse to feel guilty for accepting the place because the effects from her not going to school would be astronomical. But I can't help but feel the judgment because people know I am a stay at home parent.

People seem to be losing sight of 'be kind' once again it's just sad! Some of these children could have very difficult home lives or have additional needs that means it is in their best interests to go to school.

We will soon find out if schools are the petri dishes of Covid when LA's release the figures for number of KW kids with school places.
Someone will do the maths and compare schools with high uptake and those with just a handful of kids in.

Omg yes. People might think they know me and my situation and the point is they don't. Stop judging people you see using a school place as tjats none of your business.

My kid with ASD is in too. In the nicest possible way, I think you need to thicken your skin a bit. You have a child with ASD - they will all always judge you. Literally always. You have to learn to just ignore it. They are not worth your time.

I agree children are allowed in school for variouse reasoons and it isn,t anyones business. I do generally think if a child can stay at home they should, but everyone is different every child has individual needs. I can send my children but if I sent them i am sure some would judge, but then some may judge me for not sending them. (Children young carers meaning tean having to supervise younger brother. and running errands for Dad.) For a lot of parents it is not an easy decision.

The issue is that it is hard for everybody but some people act as if any inconvenience to them is not acceptable and therefore they send their kids to school.

When I hear that half the class is back at school then of course there will be virus transmission and therefore the lockdown will drag on forever. In that case, why am I bothering trying to juggle work and school work, I might as well send them. Especially as they have live teaching at school, so a better education.

The school was supposed to be for people who really didn't have a choice, as it was in March. That is not the case for 50% of pupils...

@NoSleepInTheHeat

The issue is that it is hard for everybody but some people act as if any inconvenience to them is not acceptable and therefore they send their kids to school.

When I hear that half the class is back at school then of course there will be virus transmission and therefore the lockdown will drag on forever. In that case, why am I bothering trying to juggle work and school work, I might as well send them. Especially as they have live teaching at school, so a better education.

The school was supposed to be for people who really didn't have a choice, as it was in March. That is not the case for 50% of pupils...

You make it sound as though it's as easy as "cba having dc at home every day, least school will definitely take them for me." There will be people struggling terribly trying to maintain a routine for their SEN children and there will be people having to leave employment because theirs aren't entitled to a school place. Your fantasy world sounds fun though.

Two of my children have been given a place in nursery and we are not keyworkers (we are in Scotland so nurseries are operating to the same rules as schools).

I have had a couple of raised eyebrows about it but it's nobody's business why we were given the places. That's between us and the nursery. The rules aren't just about keyworkers, there can be other factors taken into consideration.

Borntohula they will be those parents struggling as you say. (My sister for one) But then there are those that Nosleep mentioned as well. They both exist.

They're not just open for key worker children. Schools are also open for vulnerable children. Children can be vulnerable for a variety of reasons, (including autism) most of which aren't anyone else's business.

Funny how other people’s judgements about you isn’t ok, but your judgement about others is justified and fine.

How about we trust parents and teachers to know what the kids in their care need and let them get on with it.

@june2007 yep but that doesn't mean schools will just give their dc places? You can't just declare yourself a keyworker, for example, and magically get a school place for your child.

I guess in a pandemic everyone's emotions are high and that will lead to judgement and questions.

I don't think we can avoid this.

If you are juggling WFh in a non keyworker role and facilities remote learning and see a LP who doesn't work have a space it's natural you'll wonder why you are making loads of sacrifices and it appears others aren't.

Doesn't make it right but it's very difficult for those who are making the biggest sacrifices and will make them longer all the time others refuse to or don't.

I guess what we have to do is be kind to everyone. Both to those who feel judged for their decisions but also those that feel they've got a worse deal as they will also have their reasons for feeling that way.

I'd rather people were more empathetic to people anger and frustration at the moment and acknowledged emotions were high than just expect everyone to quietly keep quiet and ignore how difficult this is for EVERYONE.

@THATbasicSNOWFLAKE

I would not judge you for this at all op!

I do however judge those from my dcs school who have one key worker parent and a SAHP, and are sending their dc in to school just because they can

I wouldn't judge that person either - the SAHP may have health problems that are none of your business, the DC may have additional needs that are none of your business

I'm sorry you're on the receiving end of this OP

My autistic son hasn’t been given a place at his special school, none of my business though as to why the ones who are in were given a place.

Even though I'm a SAHM (Dh is the keyworker) and ds goes to a school where both parents have to be a keyworker to get childcare he still has a place.
I challenge anyone to judge me. What I dont and have absolutely intention of broadcasting in the playground is that he has complex special needs including severe challenging behaviours. Imagine the kind of things a toddler does when they're hacked off. DS is still at that stage, except he's and has the size and strength of a 9 year old. To put it in perspective he broke my arm this year having a meltdown. And he regularly targets his older sisters. Who both have keypad codelocks on their bedroom doors.
His need for supervision is constant. If he's awake, so am I. I cant work because of him. And I am exhausted. And at the end of my rope. Thanks to lockdown 1 all the respite services closed and they havent re-opened.
His headteacher gave him a full time place straight away. I rang her and begged her to have him for just a morning on Tuesday. In fact her exact words were 'just get him here this morning, and we will do the rest'

To use a quote from my grandmother:
Judge not lest ye be judged.

Yep I have a relative who works in the police. Not uniform. Because she's, you know, good at her job, absolutely no one in the playground knows what her job actually is. She's been judged for having a place. Oh if only they knew she's actually out trying to catch all the "peedos and murderers" the same stupid people like to rant about on the local Facebook groups and police page too.

The reason people are like that is because they are at breaking point themselves. Trying to juggle their kids' education with a demanding job - even if that job can be done from home, they can't always just down tools at a moment's notice to homeschool. And so they are angry and frustrated that the other kids are able to get teaching and opportunities that their kids are denied, whilst all the time the virus is just going to stay out of control and the situation will persist. It is understandable that people feel that way.

This stuff brings out the worst in people, it really does.

If it's best for the family, it's best for the child.

Those who are judging should stop and admit the reason they're judging is because they're jealous.

My child has autism and has been given a place to ensure she doesn't fall behind her peers any more than she already is

But you realise they aren't actually being given any teaching in school? It's effectively child care only that you are using it for??

People are pissed because for many their employees are refusing to furlough and are being forced to take unpaid leave 🤷‍♀️ so If one parent doesn't work then they shouldn't be taking up a place otherwise what was the point in closing the schools when 80% of the kids are going to turn up anyway? People will be complaining we are still in lockdown at Easter though 🤔

Places should be for NHS workers, workers fundamental to keeping basic services running only who work outside the home.

Lots of people have to work from home with their kids there in the last lockdown it was hard but we got on with it. But it will be our kids who are still home with us doing 30 mins of "teaching" per day and a few crappy worksheets at Easter

@piiechiipspeasandgravvy you’re literally doing the same thing calling people pisstakers.

If they’re eligible for a place who are you to judge whether they should be getting one or not?

Someone might think you’re taking the piss too.

#bekind OP. 🙄