Sad about baby sleeping in own room

[NetflixnChill]

My DS is 6 months and we are starting to think about him moving to his own room. He's been sleeping in a Chicco next to me cot, and the plan is to get an IKEA cot bed, and gradually move him further away from our bed and then into another room.

Any mums who've experienced this transition, how did you feel? I feel really sad about it and not quite ready. (I know there's nothing forcing this to happen now of course). I never thought I'd feel this way and always imagined I'd be looking forward to getting my space back. But I think due to having a baby during Covid I've ended up feeling more protective and worried about him.

We haven't had the opportunity to mix with anyone else since he was born so it's always just been me, DH and DS (apart from the postnatal ward when husband wasn't allowed). I feel scared about all sorts of steps, like one day having someone else care for him etc. Anyway, for now, how do I gradually transition to him sleeping in his own room and does anyone have any tips? Thanks x

Sorry, can't help. I feel exactly the same about moving DS out. He's 13 months and we're moving him at the weekend.

You don’t have to. Have you thought about why you are?

There are plenty of cultures where this isn’t normal.

I moved my first dc out at about 8mo, second at 18mo and third is still in the corner in a toddler bed at 3. She has her own room but I find it easier for night waking, and I feel better hearing her breathing.

Why are you doing it if you don't feel ready? Six months is the minimum, not the goal.

Just get the cot bed but keep it in your room for now.

Don’t move them out then. Some countries say to room in for a minimum of 12 months to prevent SIDS. DD1 was nearly 2 when she moved into her own room and DD2 is 17 months and still in my bed.

I was overjoyed to boot DD out at 14 months but would have missed her terribly at 6 months. She was also still waking hourly at that point so necessity kept her with me. She still comes in with us several nights a week; their own room isn’t the end of it.

Six months is the minimum age they can sleep without you – not a target.

Keep her with you then. What’s the rush? Why put pressure in yourself? Does she still wake - keep her next to you !
Honestly I had to move my oldest into his own room when he outgrew his Moses basket as there was no room for the cot next to me. It was a nightmare as he woke many times a night Til he was 2. I was a zombie.

My 2nd is still in her cot right next to me at 2.5 and no chance of moving her yet as she doesn’t sleep through or well enough reliably. I also like having her near me.

Go with your gut, you don’t have to move them!

DS went into his own room at 7 months, he’s now 8 years and sleeps with me every night

We had DS in with us until he was 14 months old, we were trying to move to a much bigger flat but the process dragged out for AGES because of COVID. I was ready to kick him out at about 10 months.

When we did move, we just plonked him in his new room for the night and had no trouble whatsoever. I think he was big enough to get it at that point.

so I suppose what i'm trying to say is you don't have to move him until you're ready!

Oh bless you! There's no hurry but as with all of these "firsts" (e.g. first time they go to school or nursery) you will get used to it really quickly. Here is (just) one way of thinking about it: you are growing a fully-functioning human being. You are loving him and supporting him and helping him grow and develop, and your ultimate goal is that he stands on his own two feet as a happy, confident adult and doesn't (really) need you anymore. That's when you know you've done a good job. This is one of the first steps along the way to him being independent, and that's a really good thing!

He'll always be your baby, but I found I've learned to love all these little steps towards my children becoming independent, even when they're bittersweet.

DD is 8 and still sleeps in my room (and, um, my bed) most nights.... you really don't have to move him.

I was glad. DD was a loud sleeper, she woke us up with her grunting noises and I couldn’t sleep at all. She slept through at that point.

I know lots of literature talks about extending co sleeping or room sharing but it definitely wasn’t for us.

We only moved ds at 8 months because he started waking up every time my dh snored! Otherwise I'd have kept him with us a lot longer.

I can't help, DS2 11m is in a cot next to my bed and DS1 4.5 runs in every night too

I felt the same, albeit having moved DD at a much older time. Pointless spending time being sad tbh... she just waltzes back into our room most nights!

DS is 2, he moved into his room at about ten months but still sometimes sleeps with us, DH is on a late shift tonight so I had an early tea then came up to bed with DS, he's a good snuggler and doesn't snore like DH

As others have said, you don’t have to. It’s perfectly fine and normal to keep him in with you. You don’t sound ready if I’m honest, I’m guessing you have your reasons for wanting to move him but if you’re not confident doing it then don’t. My eldest only moved into her own room recently and she’s just turned 3. My youngest is nearly 8 months and we’re not planning on moving her anytime soon.

We didn't because it didn't feel right. He felt too young. Some paediatric associations actually recommend waiting until a year, it's just 6 months minimum. No rush.

We're doing it next week and he's 14 months. Still feels hard but now we are ready.

My DD is going to be moving into her own room soon at 2yr2m. I will miss her, as will her dad, and I think we would keep her in with us for a bit longer yet but I’m heavily pregnant. Not sure her sleeping through soundly would stand up to being roomies with a newborn!

I’d definitely keep him in with you longer if you feel that is the right decision for you as a family. There isn’t a rule book saying they have to be out in their own room by X age.

No law that says you have to, many people do it later. We did. When they moved, they went happily. No drama.

DS is 5 months and I feel the same. He still feeds and wakes during the night so I don't think he'll be ready to sleep in his own room at 6 months and I want him near me. Once he grows out of his snuzpod we'll bring his cot in our room. You don't have to move the baby yet, just do it when it feels right.

We moved DD into her room at 9 months and got a single bed in there which I slept in for the next 3 months. It helped as I felt she was safe in that room then, I know it probably sounds a bit silly (!) but I was more relaxed, knowing that she was now familiar with the room.

I've currently got my nearly 2 year old in bed with me....He slept in his cot for a while which was next to my bed but then learnt he could just climb in to mine from it. So here I am 😁

In my culture, babies and young children sleep in the same room as parents, or even the same bed, for a long time. There really is no rush. It’s up to you and whatever you do will be the right thing for your family, but remember that you are your baby’s world and this time doesn’t last very long.

@whereisthejoy that’s really sweet